In other cases where there are accusations of abuse such as with Kalu and Sogyal (who were both seen as being far more accomplished than Nydahl), the accusations have been about very real and quite mundane uses of coercion, threats, peer pressure, etc. which is exactly the same thing that everyone else on here has written about in regard to Nydhal.
So if someone claims that somehow Nydahl got "inside their head" then it would seem obvious that all these blatant techniques for manipulation were at work here. I understand it might be painful to admit that all the warning signs were missed and that they were duped by a con artist, this does not therefore mean that the con artist is some master magician and that vajrayana is the height of the black arts used to seduce women and feed off their sexual energy.
It seems to me that one way to pull Nydahl's teeth is to debunk these myths and show them for what they really are. I don’t mean to dismiss karam-mudra's experience at all, in fact it seems to me even more damning to DWB to expose these abuses and de-mystify just how they work.
I think everyone's side of the story can be true, insofar as different members of the sangha, each with his/her own psychological constitution will react differently do all the elements involved in a ritual. For some, the prayer, the devotional exercises, and the meditation will induce an altered state of consciousness, potentially making them vulnerable to subtle or not-so-subtle suggestions from the teacher or other highly-trained gurus present. Others will experience nothing more than the reciting of texts and a bit of bowing or prostration on their part, but only as perfunctory exercises. To some, Nydahl would appear empty, an obvious fraud. To others, he would appear as a wise teacher, and to still others, a spiritual master. Everyone present would be seeing him through their own lens of personal experience, personal history, and level of belief or faith.
Even simple meditation will result in completely different reactions from people; some might have instant insight, others will get bored or fall asleep, others may have a psychotic episode. I think this is part of the problem; most gurus aren't equipped to evaluate students as to who is suitable for the practice, and they're certainly not trained to handle an adverse reaction by a student. When you have someone who is an outright con artist and manipulator, and possible a sexual predator, followers who are psychologically fragile, or psychically vulnerable, will be at a tremendous disadvantage.
And in that case, it can become difficult to discuss an event in a group setting (such as we have here, or in the sangha), because some people's perception of what occurred would be completely different from the perception of those sitting next to them. The basic fact is, though, that teachers who use students for personal gain (whether for ego-boost, financial gain, sexual exploitation, whatever the motive) will end up using the psychologically weakest in the group. So we should respect the victim's view of what occurred as we try to sort out what actually transpired.