These postings trouble me! Nobody needs to be in church 7 days a week! Is it a cult? I DOnt know, CC in san diego actually helped me escape my cult! Along with the 700 club.

The key thing here is a relationship with Jesus can be done alone on a desert island! YOU DONt necessarily need church.

I feel sorry for you that your boyfriend is hooked into this. it doesnt sound healthy!!!

Abigail,

I am troubled by this as well. I have been involved in several Calvary Chapels over the years and I have never seen or heard any cult-like stuff from any of them. I know most churches who have a lot of young people have something going on everynight of the week. When I say young people I don't necessarilly mean the youth group, I just mean a body of believers who aren't mostly retired or geriatrics.

I do find it alarming that this fellow is plugged in to everything at church he can because it does appear that he either wants to be there 24/7 or just doesn't want to go home. It sounds a little desperate. I don't know his heart obviously and he may have all the best intentions in mind. He could very well be as sincere as the day is long.

I know from my own experience in a church which was an early split off fellowship from the Potters House called New Life who had pulled out of CFM in Jan 1990. I was happy to be going there because they had left Wayman Mitchell's cult. I had found my own deliverance from a decade long alcoholic lifestyle in that church in April that year the 1st night I went. God did that - not me & not the church or anyone else there. I found myslef feeling a little lost outside the walls of the church because I hadn't been sober in so long the world looked and felt a lot different without the booze. I plugged in to everything I could just to be involved with 'church' stuff rather than world stuff. I was a working musician who played in bars, but after I quit drinking I had to quit playing in them. I played in church every chance I got and ended up being the sound guy running the mixing board and making tapes for people. My friends list changed over night - I had no real friends when I was a drunk, just drunks like me who wanted someone to be miserable with. When I quit they turned on me right away. Not because I preached to them cause I didn't. I just tried to remain 'friends' and they now despised me. At home my family was in the process of folding like a lawn chair before I quit. The night I came home from church all hell broke loose! THAT was the last straw and from there it was all downhill. I held on best as I could but it was a rollercoaster ride that finally ended in divorce 2 years later.

In hindsight, Yes I was afraid I would go back to my old life. I had done exactly that many times, but this last time I asked for help from above and I got it. I knew this was the LAST time I would be given the same offer. I thank God that I had some new friends who I could relate to, and fortunately there were some old ones in the church too who had known me way back. I guess they were my support system. I need them and you know what? I was there for them when they needed me. (and I still am, though we are all scattered about)

Was it necessary for me to be in church or at a church function every night? Looking back I have to say No, because in the end the make or break deal was my one on one relationship with God OUTSIDE the church NOT in it or ever so busy doing whatever there. Once I realized this I chilled out a little and took a look at it all from the outside and realized there were many things about the church that were identical to the old Potters House 'fellowship' CULT I had so many years earlier, said NO to. A lot of the old doctrines and practices were still in place - the only difference was that Mitchell had no say there anymore, but his ghost hung around in the wings all the time. I began to listen to the sermons closer and realized that the works and legalistic stuff was still being blared from the pulpit full speed ahead. I just never paid any attention to it - I was glad to be there and more than willing to contribute.

This relization made me uneasy and the fact that my son seemed more interested in going to a big church with a huge youth group where he know other kids made my decision to leave easier.

The church I went to when I left was a more charismatic with a LOT of emphasis on the gifts of the Spirit and what I came to recognize as the Prosperity message, but it was toned down a bit from what I had heard from the Word of Faith teachers Copeland, Hagin, Price and etc. The message was subtle but the more I plugged in the more I realized it was a 'bless me club' - "God wants to bless you s if you want to be blessed get on the band wagon!" Before I knew it I was there nearly every night. It wasn't the works message "You OWE God so you'd better show up with a check!" but was more the "God owes YOU so you'd better be in line when He passes out those checks!" garbage. I finally left and went to a more conservative church.

Somewhere in there I realized I could stand on my own two feet with the Lord at my side and I didn't have to live in fear of going back to my vomit. (I still haven't after 17 yrs now sober!) I didn't need to make my life about 'church' but instead began to understand the concept of making Him the Lord of my life IN ALL THAT I DO! Whether it's playing a little gig with some old friends in some bar so I can shine some Light in their lives (which I did plenty of; a couple of these guys found the Lord & got clean of drugs & booze etc) or going fishing on Sunday or going to church or just hanging out with the guys at the car shows or whatever. I realized I can just be a normal guy and be a Christian and yes even be a Christian and just be a normal guy instead of some hoiler than thou or some dude who shrinks away and says "I can't be seen with so and so because they cuss or drink or smoke" etc.

Now my point in mentioning all of that is I have known so many people in Calvary Chapel's who are just regular folks, including some pastors. They go to church on Sunday, well most of the time. Sometimes they take the family fishing and sometimes they just stay home and relax with other family and friends. It's not like God is taking roll or even the pastor. Most of them give in secret and their lives are pretty much an open book. They love to share with others about the Lord but it's not about building their own church it's more about increasing God's Kingdom. Most of them are just work-a-day dad's and soccer moms with their minivans and 2.5 or 3.5 kids. They got the 30 year mortgage on their 1500 sq ft house in the burbs and they keep their yards nice. They dress well and then again they dress down and mostly just be all casual. They got the Harvest Praise Band cd in the player right beside Clapton's latest. Some of em have the latest George Strait CD as well. It's not like they are religous fanatics who are so heavenly minded they are no earthly good. They just live their lives for God and they enjoy themselves and what's left of the planet until He returns.

Now THAT'S the Calvary Chapel folks I know from all over many churches in Southern CA!

Frank, to anwer your question, my BF was selfish when he was drinking, now he is mean, selfish, and stubborn. The mean part seems to be because he is SO tired.
I understand when you said you went to church alot because you were afraid you'd turn back to worldly things. I just feel that this is alot more like a social club, then it is about God. He says he goes everynite to get fed. Meanwhile, his personal life is falling apart. I'm not just talking about us; I mean his finances, work, etc. This is a 40 year old man we are talking about.
Today he told me about his trip to Mexico. They brought twelve year olf girls with them (the member's daughters). One of them decided she wanted to go witness to a drunk man on the street, so off they went. I told him that seems negligent, unsafe. I feel God wants us to be responsible parents. i told him when you have a child, I believe you should behave differently than a single person.
The man who started this church has at least 60 million dollars. Yet, the members have to pay $2300. to go on a trip to Russia. This is no vacation, they stay in churches, and spend time passing out glasses and witnessing. Missionaries don't pay their own expenses, why would these people?
The meetings during the week are all in members homes, so there is no check/balance on what is being taught. I spoke with my own pastor (I go to a Community Church) about some of the ideas. He said they were misrepresenting the idea in the scripture. He also said my BF seems very confused. Anything I say to the contrary makes him very angry.
Maybe like Frank, in time this will all settle down. I'm just not sure I have that much time to give someone who is so unwilling to listen...

Hello,
I went to Calvary Chapel . No one there ever told me I had to go everyday to get to heaven. No one told me I had to ask God into my heart everyday, even though I had already asked God into my heart the day before. No ever told me that when I pray , I was speaking evil and going to burn in hell.
I went to calvery chapel once a week . Sometimes everyday depending on how I felt. I was never told how to dress. Guess what I was a punker.
I was invited to mexico to help out there. You have a choice to pay or get help with your travel.
pelicangrl, have you ever thought, that maybe just maybe your BF chooses to go on his own will? Maybe just Maybe he feels he needs this to stay off booze and drugs, not feel the wieght of the world. That maybe he, is finding the comfort he needs right there at calvery? I am saying this, because I have been to alanon and AA in the past, rooms with smoke filled, people whining how come they drink to each other. One would tend to think you would be glad he goes to church. You know Calvery has never put me to sleep like some churches do. Believe me I have been to every kind of church you could think of, trying to find out if they were all the same. I did this for a couple of years. Then quit looking.
You know something I have not been to church in 8 yrs. except once to see my daughter baptised at everett community church. That place I felt was a cult. They told my daughter she has to give $60.00 a month for ties. Cause God says so. Calvery never asked me to do that.
You say your BF , has no regular job, his truck payment is six months behind, he has a warrant due to an unpaid ticket. Sounds to me like he has changed his one problem for another, on his own. When a person drops one addiction, they pick up another. I am sure if he went to counseling at the church with an elder, they would tell him to take care of his home and bills. If they did tell him to leave you? I wonder what he is telling them about you?
I am not trying to be rude, but one needs to think outside of the circle. Calvery brought me back to God, after 12 yrs of seperation, (I had quit believing) due to my father running a cult church. So I know what it is to be brainwashed.
Also I still talk and visit with people from calvery, not once have they nagged me to come back. We also have dinners and play games, watch a movie. Yes, they live other lives besides going to church and hold a job. Suggestion, :idea: if you want time with him and want to know what he is up to? Go with him , make a few friends, get a few supporters for your self there. There is a lot of nice people there. I will admitt not perfect. If everyone was perfect, they would not have any need for God. Hope this helps. Please do not judge the church till you see for yourself, what is really up.

To whom it may concern:

Calvary Chapel has a history of problems.

See [www.culteducation.com]

Pastors at Calvary are not required to have a college degree and/or to attend and graduate from an accredited seminary or bible college.

Calvary's bible school is not accredited.

Pastors at Calvary typically don't have meaningful accountability to democratically elected church boards.

Calvary churches most often are not financially transparent through independently audited financial statements and/or budgets, which disclose in detail all salaries, compensation and expenses paid out from church funds.

Chuck Smith, the founder of Calvary Chapel, seems to be something like its "leader for life." Smith family members also hold some key positions in the Calvary organization, which makes it in some ways seem more like a family business rather than a tax-exempted nonprofit.

In response to eyerishroses post, my BF has been told many times at church that believing in Jesus is not enough to get one in to heaven. He started dressing to fit in there, with T-shirts from the christian store and shaved his goatee, as people were making comments. As far as his own will, he seems to have none anymore. He cannot even order a hamburger without wondering what God wants. His personality is basically gone.
He does go everyday so he won't drink. Their website says they feel they can help one get off alcohol and drugs better than a 12 step program. A tall order, considering that AA has the best success rate (no, I am not an alcoholic). As far as me glad he is going to church, yes, I would be in a normal scenario. This is OBSESSIVE. Twice on Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday (Tuesday stopped for summer, thank God). I believe in a normal, balanced life. As far as tithes, they do tell him to give 10%. About his financial issues, he had them before attending Calvary Chapel, now they have snowballed. I was merely pointing out that they have not been taken care of. They do tell him to back off from me, since I don't belong to their cult. You say you haven't been to church in eight years. The shelf life of Calvary Chapel members is 1-2 years. Who could keep up with all this for any length of time? They are judgemental, telling people how to run their personal lives. As far as me going with him, I am not invited. I might step on the toes of the married chick he hung out there with when we broke up when he started attending there. Why would I want to go to a cult church? I have asked him to go to my church. He and his buddies there thinks their church is the only right one.
There is basically no check and balance system in place there. The bible studies are held in people's homes, so they can teach anything they want. Thanks but no thanks...

Hmmm , Did Jesus have to go to college to tell the word of God? No. Did he tell his people to go to college to tell the word. No , I have been to a lot of different churchs. My father is a preacher. Like I said I was raised in a cult type setting. People that go to college can be just as bad of a person. I remember a church called assembly of god asking my grandma not to come anymore, because my ex went there. The minister was one of those educated idiots. I do not believe every Calvery is the same. Sounds to me like maybe some of them have a problem. But , Sorry I will not believe all of them have one. That like saying, Hey if you look like Jim Jones, You are a sicko, murderer. :roll: I do not believe every church is bad.

I was suggesting. Trying to help. I have never been to the ones in california. But I live here in washington. The reason I do not go to calvery is because I moved. If I still lived around there I would/ might still go. I have tryed new life center here, never went back after the 3rd time. I went to westgate chapel, saw a window up accross the office, walked out. The preacher did not even come out to shake hands. If one wants me back into church around here. They have some improvement that needs to take place. As for AA I do not believe they are that successful. I know a number of people, that learned to drink and take and get better drugs from there. I figure if a person really wants to quit drinking ... The will stop, with no problem. Like I did. I just poured everything out and said no more. Yes , sure when things get real bad, I think for a moment , If I still drank I would be drinking, crawling into a deep dark bottle. Then I say, thank you Lord for making me sick of it long ago. I was out of AA 3 yrs. When I made my mind up. When I went to AA, it drove me to worse. I ended up with two addictions to fight on my own and With my grandmother praying and God. I am sorry you are going through this. Sometimes love is better, a million miles away from the one you love. Have you asked God is this what he wants for you? Sometimes , we all think it is, the one he wants for us, when actually it is not the one. Have you read Tracy Cabots book? I read it, I left my ex, It helped me relize somethings. If you have not read it , I recommend it. Maybe it will have some answers for you. Good Luck, And I will keep you in my prayers.

eyerishroses said,

Quote

Hmmm , Did Jesus have to go to college to tell the word of God? No. Did he tell his people to go to college to tell the word. No

Calvary pastors are not "Jesus," nor are they apostles.

And this is not the First Century, though even at that time there were requirements outlined within the New Testament for deacons, elders and evangelists.

Perhaps if Calvary pastors had education and ordination requirements, accountability to elected boards and meaningful financial transparency, like the overwhelming majority of Protestant pastors, there would not be so many problems at Calvary churches.

Alcoholism is a disease. Rather than encouraging people to go to doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists, or AA, they send them to counseling at the church with the elders (unlicensed). They are attempting to treat people with serious problems. AA has an 80 something % success rate (it is the highest). The thing about AA is that I believe they have people go back and take care of their past issues. It seems to me that Calvary Chapel is a band aid. It temporarily takes care of the problem by getting people caught up in various meetings. I want a balanced life; I do not see this happening there. Thank you for your prayers, I could use them.