I just came out of this destructive church of two years and I thank God for opening my eyes. I didnt realize what was wrong untill the end. I always felt there were things wrong but I couldnt put my finger on it. Much brain washing, mind controll, secrecy about the finances, the pastor being a one man show, the list goes on. I am going through a healing right now, but I was wondering if anyone has experienced Calvary Chapel apostocy?

My BF goes to Calvary Chapel. He is there seven times a week. It seems cult like to me; he acts like they are the only ones going to heaven. Everything out of his mouth has the word God in it. There is nothing balanced about it; it is obsessive. He tells me I am lost, because I go to my church once a week. I'm scared he will crash and burn; he is tired all the time. They get home at 10pm everynite. Don't these people have jobs or families? They all see to be troubled people fresh out of a divorce. They are easy prey...

There is actually another huge thread (or two) related to calvary. In my city, there are several calvary churches, and alot of people put the stickers they sell on their cars. Its big business here! Anyway, as someone who has been putting their life back together from being manipulated by their belief in God, I would recommend starting secular, and building back from there.

Thinking from your own mind, feelings, and perceptions for a while can be a valuable experience. After you accustomize yourself to yourself once again, you should only then re-consider what your beliefs are.

My BF went to Mexico this weekend with Calvary Chapel to build a church for an orphanage. He had to pay to go, even though the church has millions of dollars. They didn't get to the border until 9pm Sunday nite, he was home at 1am. It's like they are taking over his WHOLE life. He was so tired today, he keeps getting sick; he was 2 hours late to work. He acts like a zombie now, it's like his personality is gone. Yet he goes back there, everynite at 7pm for 2-3 hours. It's not God that's getting his time, it's this cultish church. My friend told me the one in Riverside is so big, it has a giant Starbucks inside it.
It's like he thinks they will make healthy boundaries for him, when in fact there are none, except guilt. I don't know how much more I can take. I think he is using church like AA.

Pelicangrl,

I have a couple questions if you don't mind. As his girl friend where are you in all of this? Do you ever go to church with him? When do you see him if he is always at church or working/sleeping etc?

You mention AA and the Starbucks thing. Is your boyfriend in drug or alcohol rehab or is the coffee thing an afront to you? The LDS Mormons condemn coffee as a BIG sin per the teachings of Joseph Smith and his oft quoted Word of Wisdom utterance. (which is neither taught/mentioned in the Bible OR the Book Of Mormon BTW!) You mention your boyfriends guilt - guilt about what?

I am trying to understand how and why he has a relationship with you if his church is his life as you say. You say you go to your church once a week. What kind of church is it? What is their position on your outside their church relationship with this man?

In all honesty if Calvary Chapel was the cult you and others claim it is your boyfriend would have been given an ultimatim by now in regards to you. Cults must exercise control and they do it by enforcing rules in the camp such as 'no fraternizing outside the church or denomination'. He would have been told to bring you in or let you go and he would have told you to either come along or get lost.

Just curious and trying to understand more about what you say.

My BF and I have been together almost a year. He joined Calvary Chapel recently (he went to the one in Riverside as a teen). We broke up in February, he started hanging out w/a married woman from church. Now he says it was cuz he was mad at me. Meanwhile, I started attending a community church. He goes seven times a week to church and bible study. They do tell him to break up with me. He sees me, then he feels guilty. He refuses to bring me there (I believe cuz of her).
My church doesn't tell us what to do in our personal life. As far as the Starbucks, I drink it. I was just trying to show how commercial Calvary Chapel is. Believe me, he is brainwashed. His personality is gone; he answers me in one syllable now. If I say anything about the church, or question anything, I get hung up on.
I have seen the people from there at a coffee house they own here. They look like a group of misfits, none of them have jobs or relationships. Maybe that's why they want to put a wedge in mine. I've had about enough. I want a normal, balanced life...

You asked how and why he has a relationship with me. We do still love each other. This is a man I felt I could spend my life with. I was happy he started going to church; he was a heavy drinker and I thought it was positive. However, it became obsessive; I feel like it is not God getting in our way, it is Calvary Chapel. He is not in AA or rehab, once he started crying and told me that's why he goes there so much. I believe they target troubled people. They get them to go on all these missions, some dangerous, even with their children. None of them seem to have responsibility in their personal lives. It's like they have a savior complex to go save the world; it's easier than straightening out the issues at home. I feel like my life is falling apart...

> When do you see him if he is always at church or working/sleeping etc?

Umm, didn't you read her post? That is part of the problem, she hardly sees him because all his time is spent with Calvary. Way to miss the point...

>You mention AA and the Starbucks thing. Is your boyfriend in drug or >alcohol rehab or is the coffee thing an afront to you?

Like she said, it's pretty tacky to have a Starbucks inside of a church. I drink Starbucks, too, but I wouldn't want one in a place of worship. Perhaps you do not live in America, Frank, but one of the great crises of Christianity in America is the prevalence of "New Age" Christian churches that

a) look like box stores.
b) push hard-line politics
c) advertise and put large amounts of money into attracting people with gimmicks like "singles night", meant to draw in the lonely.
d) incorporate self-help messages of greed, similar to "the Secret" or "think and grow rich" kind of stuff to appeal to people's materialism and consumerism. All totally contrary to the message of Jesus. The fine line between "What the Bleep" and televangelism is rapidly disappearing.

Calvary is the epitome of this phenomenon.


>In all honesty if Calvary Chapel was the cult you and others claim it is >your boyfriend would have been given an ultimatim by now in regards to >you.

Not necessarily. Groups work in different ways on different issues. Even if they don't "give him an ultimatum" does not make it a mentally healthy environment. Personally, I have seen a close family member go down the Calvary road and the results are not pretty. She married a Calvary guy and has turned into an intolerant hypocrite, where she was once a wonderful, caring person.

This morning, I told my BF that the only difference I see in him after attending Calvary Chapel seven days a week is that he stopped drinking. He is mean, selfish, and stubborn now. He has no regular job, his truck payment is six months behind, he has a warrant due to an unpaid ticket. Doesn't God want people to be responsible? All the people who went to Mexico with Calvary Chapel have similar issues. I just feel a person's personal life should be on track before they travel the world slaying dragons. I find it sad that 2 people who both love God and each other, are being torn apart by a cult church.

Was he mean, selfish, and stubborn when he was drinking?