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miruta
I can't believe that I have found this forum more than I can believe I first experienced JH's group years ago. I was never family or a member. But I was deeply in love with one. It was a long time ago and we were young and I believed that I may have married this person. I never knew everything about the group but I knew enough to be very freaked out. Maybe this is why I found this forum, to know that i didn't mistake in forgoing great love. But it still breaks my heart to think about so many beautiful, truly well-meaning hearts that lost a lifetime of potential to choose their own paths (with God). And so I don't understand how no one has (or will) go to the authorities with what they know. How many generations have to suffer? I'm only an outsider and have already suffered because of the power of groupthink. And this is nothing compared to anyone who has been abused, who have led limited lives.

Not too long ago, I read an account of brother-sister incest. A family friend intervened and the perpetrator was sent to jail. And one of the most heartbreaking things I have ever read was the words of the perpetrator who thanked God because someone stopped him. This may be a strong example but it is a worthy one. Almost every one of us is built with an internal compass and though outside factors may temper it, it's still there. I pray that through all of you former members the truth will be shown. You have helped me in the little way you were able to. Please do the same for the victims.

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justagirljh
Ok. I wasn't going to write. But I feel as though I should. I am/was a youth. I am no longer a part of things. But I was, for my whole life. I am surprised by the accounts of abuse in this group. Maybe I shouldn't be, but I am. I witnessed something a long time ago, but I believed it was isolated to this person/family. I still do not belkieve that there is systemic abuse. I believe that this cult attracted sick types. Some of these sickos abused. Some of them attempted to cover it up when it was found out. Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know how I could be so blind to these things going on. nmaybe the true purpose of the rules against "gossip" is to keep the people from talking amongst themselves, and finding out what is going on.
I digress. I am writing about something that I witnessed and nevertold anyone. Years ago, I walked in on a child, a child around my age, being abused. I saw it. I did not understand fully the implications of it. I quickly left and never mentioned it to the other child. I do not know if she knew that I knew what I saw, but she didn't say anything and niether did I. Mind you, I was friends with this girl, but there are certain lines we already knew not to cross as if it was trained in us. It did come out later, the abuse. I do not have knowledge of how it came out, but it was known. The abuser was an immediate family member. Nothing happened except she seemed to disappear. How do I explain the power these people have over others? This girl, me, all of us, we were born into this thing. Our whole families were members. Our entire families, our support system, were members. there was noone else. No where else to go. This girl, she eventually gave up it seemed. Accepted the label of liar. Didn't fight it at all, and it made me angry because I KNEW. But that is the hold these people have on others. She faced the choice of being cut off, completely alone, or deny herself but keep her family and her siblings. Don't know if I would have chosen any differently and this is all before we were even adults.
I feel angry and I feel guilty though I was a child too. What is systemic is the covering up. No one is protecting the children, they are protecting the Family which means themselves. We were taught very young that the family comes first, before even our own families.
What has happened to this girl? She's living her life. How has it all worked out for her, really. I don't know. But I do know: BE CAREFUL. You don't know even the people you think you know best in this group. You DON'T know what really goes on behind closed doors. You don't know who a person becomes when they think NO ONE is watching. I know what I saw, but I never would have belived it if someone else saw it, and told me.

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justagirljh
Ok. I wasn't going to write. But I feel as though I should. I am/was a youth. I am no longer a part of things. But I was, for my whole life. I am surprised by the accounts of abuse in this group. Maybe I shouldn't be, but I am. I witnessed something a long time ago, but I believed it was isolated to this person/family. I still do not belkieve that there is systemic abuse. I believe that this cult attracted sick types. Some of these sickos abused. Some of them attempted to cover it up when it was found out. Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know how I could be so blind to these things going on. nmaybe the true purpose of the rules against "gossip" is to keep the people from talking amongst themselves, and finding out what is going on.
I digress. I am writing about something that I witnessed and nevertold anyone. Years ago, I walked in on a child, a child around my age, being abused. I saw it. I did not understand fully the implications of it. I quickly left and never mentioned it to the other child. I do not know if she knew that I knew what I saw, but she didn't say anything and niether did I. Mind you, I was friends with this girl, but there are certain lines we already knew not to cross as if it was trained in us. It did come out later, the abuse. I do not have knowledge of how it came out, but it was known. The abuser was an immediate family member. Nothing happened except she seemed to disappear. How do I explain the power these people have over others? This girl, me, all of us, we were born into this thing. Our whole families were members. Our entire families, our support system, were members. there was noone else. No where else to go. This girl, she eventually gave up it seemed. Accepted the label of liar. Didn't fight it at all, and it made me angry because I KNEW. But that is the hold these people have on others. She faced the choice of being cut off, completely alone, or deny herself but keep her family and her siblings. Don't know if I would have chosen any differently and this is all before we were even adults.
I feel angry and I feel guilty though I was a child too. What is systemic is the covering up. No one is protecting the children, they are protecting the Family which means themselves. We were taught very young that the family comes first, before even our own families.
What has happened to this girl? She's living her life. How has it all worked out for her, really. I don't know. But I do know: BE CAREFUL. You don't know even the people you think you know best in this group. You DON'T know what really goes on behind closed doors. You don't know who a person becomes when they think NO ONE is watching. I know what I saw, but I never would have belived it if someone else saw it, and told me.

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Pninaruth
Hey long time Jack victim, first time writing. May I ask what everyone is so paranoid about? These people have no power, no control, no balls. Why are so many of you fearing retribution?

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justagirljh
........... How do I explain the power these people have over others? This girl, me, all of us, we were born into this thing. Our whole families were members. Our entire families, our support system, were members. there was noone else. No where else to go. ......................

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Right.
I wonder about that also.

So I found this list of traits for abusers.
This is a list of traits of abusive men. But I thought number 5 was especially relevant.

I was remembering how they would spread these rumors after 1982 about phones being bugged. I remember these ''inner circle'' people...kids...well my friends really...they would say ''you know the phones might be bugged''. They would say this while we were talking over the phone.
I remember just laughing and saying ''wow...so you mean someone really cares about what I'm doing''. It seemed silly really.
I wonder if they do that sort of thing nowadays.
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This is the list I found of traits of abusers......this isn't sexual abuse. It's abusive spouses. Still I thought it was good.


1)Jealousy:

2)Controlling Behavior:

3)Quick Involvement:

4)Unrealistic Expectations:. Victims are supposed to take care of their abusers’ needs.

5)ISOLATION: Abusers often try to prevent victims from seeing friends and family. Abusers may not let their victim work, use the phone, go to school or use a car.

6)Blames Others For Problems:

7)Blames Others For Feelings:

8)Hypersensitivity: Abusers often get their feelings hurt very easily and may claim that feelings are hurt when they are really angry. With an abuser, everything appears to be a personal attack.

9)Cruelty to Animals or Children: Abusers may expect children to do things they are not yet able to do. For example, an abuser might spank a two-year-old for wetting a diaper or tease a small child for crying.

10)Playful Use of Force: .

11)Verbal Abuse:

12)Rigid Roles for Men/Women:

13)Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde: 14)Past Battering:

15)Threats of Violence:

16)Disrespects Others: He or she may treat waiters or waitresses poorly or put down family members or people at work.

17)Breaks Personal Property: .

18)Does Not Respect Privacy: Abusers often “kiss and tell.”