Thank your wife for being upfront about 'not loving you for the last 3 years'. She sounds to me like she admitted responsibility, and I would acknowledge her for that rather than blame her.
The Landmark Forum only deals with transformation at the individual level. E.g. you find out insights about yourself, your own persistent complaints about others, what has been 'bugging you' in life, etc, and you work through those issues - because it was your interpretation of reality that drove you to those conclusions.
I personally took the Forum about 2 years ago, and delayed my advanced course for as long as I could, before I was able to sort out through my own b.s. toward my wife of 7 years. I admitted to her all the ways I was being inauthentic toward her, and basically an asshole to her. She couldn't believe what she was hearing coming out of my big mouth, and broke in tears after I acknowledged myself as being responsible for all the offensive stuff I have told and done to her, and was able to forgive me.
What made it available for me to relate to my wife as someone whom I love, and someone who is independent of me, in her choices and her thoughts, emotions, direction in life, etc was actually the "Advanced Course", which enabled me to relate to others at a level of the group. Eversince the Advanced Course, I've been able to improve my work productivity 10 fold, stay focused on tasks, instead of b.s.-ing and complaining about my circumstances at work or in life, my wife has almost completely stopped complaining about how I am because she noticed that I now accept and love her FAR MORE than ever before, and she is now open and exited about us having children, whereas before she was a bit reserved on the topic .... I've been married for 7 years and am committed to my marriage lasting until death do us part and I love my wife more than I love myself.
I definitely think you should _openly communicate_ with your wife, without sounding accusatory toward her, and try to get into her world and understand her reality before you even say anything to her that you might possibly regret. Having gone through the Forum, you know by now that complaining isn't going to get you anywhere, but accepting others for who they are, regardless of the choices they make and how they "impact" us, is the true path to living powerfully and responsibly. Tell your wife you LOVE her, and acknowledge her for being true to her feelings with you. My suggestion is - sign up for the advanced course, and I guarantee you will see your wife in a whole new way that you may not have been able to before.
Nettie; truly apprecite you sharing your experience in LE.
I am a little out of sorts lately..My wife has taken LE on and is truly deeply involved.
she will be commencing her ILP within the next couple of weeks.
Our relationship is in trouble and has been for the last 6 months when she surprised me by saying that I have caused her a lot of distress during our marriage and that she has not loved me for the last 3 years. (we have 2 kids 9 and 8) and for them I am committed to live a crappy life if need be.
I am concerned over the fact that I do believe she has changed and is not the person I know,.her actions seem different and inauthentic (kinda fake). She uses all of the LE jargon all of the time.
I have taken the forum and did not proceed further (no current intentions to do so).
my inquiry is whether or not anyone has any good advise on if I should meddle into her direction. or is there a good way to ask her to review her direction without "WRONGING" her.
or is it just better for me to stay out of the way and let her figure it out.