When I embarked on this useless battle after I was called to do it, I spoke to a friend who had served directly in HI for decades. A faithful disciple.
I voiced my concerns. She was rather annoyed with me and said:
“I can assure you that those who are onsite serving, are very happy”.
I know another person who was banned for a few years just because she is not a doormat, a bit volatile and conflictual.
They even turned her son against her.
I saw her suffer for years. She is by war one of the most sincere souls I have ever met. And she has a very kind heart.
She even confessed to me that she had some suicidal thoughts at one point.
Still hanging out with them, always carrying that wound and never understanding the harsh treatment she got.
People are hostage of their attachement to Krishna and the security of having a community.
Being in this forum for a few months, I feel much more sorry for us than them.
If some people want to be led by a leash like dogs, be put into submission by the alphas of the pack, it is their choice. Because this is what it looks to me.
I dedicate this useless battle to all the sweet souls that took their lives including one of my friends.
My years at the SoI felt like being in limbo between heaven and hell.
Thankfully all the time that I was there, I was protected by the illusion that my spiritual master was “spotless”.
What you don’t know.......
If CB is the pure medium of God and that I am being punsihed for the elephant offense, it is best that it costed me my faith.
Time to free myself of the anger and resentment and focus on the good that I got from being a memeber of CB’s pack!
The doghouse days are over. I have graduated to the position of lone wolf.
I include the testimonial of Canada girl.
I hope that my friends and teachers (including CB) will know that I care about them. They can either see me as an offensive demon or someone who is helping them to wake the F up from this nightmare.
And that from now on they will be a bit more careful how they treat other devotees. Or treat each other.
A just Creator (whoever it might be)is watching and has watched for decades.
All the tears shed via abuse are held in the hands of a just God. It must be an ocean by now.
The same parasite cleanses that are imposed upon the servants should also be applied to the SoI.
Putting down my sword. Time to focus on much bigger battles.