In the article about psychopaths it mentions the leaders inability to have true emotions and be sympathetic of their members suffering. I'll recount one such instance that happened to me. I shared with Tim and Amy a very harsh experience I went through at home while trying to obey the letters. The reason was because I wanted to hear a letter that I knew one of the other prophets in the group had apparently received for me months prior, I had heard that the letter told me how much God loved me. I needed to hear that at that moment. Amy seemed fairly genuine in her sympathetic response, but Tim, while his words were meant to be sympathetic, seemed empty. I needed to feel loved and accepted, but I'm not sure I ever experienced a time when Tim would actually portray love or sympathy. There were times in our studies where he seemed to be loving, but never in personal experiences, it definitely looking back now seems like it was staged emotion only.
I relate to you on this LLG, the letters are very enticing and they sound real, they sound like God talk, the hope of the rapture, the promise of the set date, and Timothy seeming genuine and sincere, but only from a distance and when he has the time.
I had some serious issues I needed help with but Timothy would never even give me the time to talk with me in private, he would only divert me to Trent. When he did this it made me feel like he was trying to hide something or like he didn't want me to get too close to him.
It also didn't help that it seemed like Trent counseled me with things in a condescending demeanor (I no longer hold any ill will or resentment towards any of the members but I was made to feel like I was a horrible person from the start because of my questions, thoughts, or struggles instead of being able to have someone to confide in) as well as told/ counseled me to do things that were in contradiction to the letters. That sent me in spiraling because I was under the assumption that since Timothy was an all knowing prophet (who was supposedly humble, compassionate, loving and cared so much for his 'flock') would let Trent 'counsel' me that Trent must know what he is talking about, instead I was being pulled in two opposite directions and left more confused and abandoned than I came.
Some days I feel so weak and reclusive and I find myself wanting to run back to 'safety' in the letters/ flock (but of course for the most part I have been ostracized-which makes it a little more easy, but makes me curious as to the fruit the letters produce. It's like all Timothy has to do is give the ok and they all turn on you or frown upon on you)
But most days I just want to break down and cry because I feel so helpless and lost and find it hard to trust anyone and I am always afraid God is mad at me and find myself 'floating' throughout the day and I don't even need a trigger, just isolation. I know, I need help.