Hello everyone.
Like others I have been following this forum for a couple of years. It was a liberating, empowering, comforting find. I found it after the search engine improvement that causes it to appear at top of the list if you search for both "Struthers Memorial Church" and "Cult". I have used the word "cult" loosely all my adult life to describe Struthers, normally dumbing it down a bit and saying "cult-like aspects", because of embarrassment of admitting to having been part of a cult.
Those of you who were around in the 70s and 80s might have immediately got where my user name comes from - the red South Lanarkshire roads that begin after you leave the M74 at Rigside to make the last stage of the journey to Wiston Lodge.
I made no initial choice to be part of Struthers, being born into one of the families undertaking the experiment into the world of pentecostalism from the 1950s onwards. I physically left at the point of adulthood and independence. Freeing myself mentally is an ongoing process and I still have a long way to go, almost 40 (yes 40 !!!!!) years later.
There are so many things I could say, may say in future posts. I do have some factual information to add into the historical recording interspersed through the forum posts.
I salute the few of you who have been brave, brave, brave to use your real names. I remember you. And I recognise a few contributors from pseudonyms and narrative descriptions.
I tend to tackle (and it does feel like a contact sport I've been playing all my life) going back to deal with the Struthers mental mess in bursts. I don't need to tell any of you about the strength required to lift the lid and attempt more self-healing work. I am currently in one of those active healing phases.
I had a light bulb moment when a fellow traveller told me they had been diagnosed with PTSD. For the first time in those 40 years I think I have found a phrase that makes sense of my adult life. For me, the diagnosis is further refined to "Complex PTSD" because I had no possibility of escape over the first part of my life, and emotional pain was inflicted over and over and over in that time, to me, to family members, to the wider congregation.
Added on top of the institutional trauma has been the realisation (from a teenage age) that family members chose Struthers, chose an experience, chose an emotional high, chose a leader(s), chose fear, over the wellbeing of their children and spouses - that messes with your head as you progress through your adult life.
What has kick-started me back to lifting that lid is the impact on my own children. Damage done to me is impacting them. Attaching a label may be called a superficial, semantic thing. But it has helped my children and given us a new framework to attempt moving forward again.
For those of you who like reading, I have just finished a book that I would heartily recommend. I found myself highlighting a sentence or sentences in almost every paragraph in the first four chapters with "Yes, that is exactly what it was like in Struthers". If there are any new readers of this forum that may have been thinking they must have been imagining the various mental contortions they have lived through, this forum and this book are here to tell you - you are not imagining it. And you are not alone.
The book:
Escaping the Maze of Spiritual Abuse: Creating Healthy Christian Cultures - Lisa Oakley and Justin Humphreys
And for good people still in Struthers, people with standing in their outer, professional world, people who have had a niggle or more over many years that there are aspects of Struthers that are not right - be brave - read this book - the first four chapters will be disconcerting, the last four chapters give you a framework for you to lead Struthers out of the abusive hole. There are now supportive church resources, training, conferences available that were not there before. Act before your outer, professional reputations are trashed in public - see the parallels in the Post Office Horizon public enquiry, see how company officers and professionals chose concern for reputation over concern for individuals, learn the lesson and do not repeat their mistakes! If not concerned for fellow travellers, risk-assess for your own self-interest. Would you lose your professional job should a link be made with any roles you carry out in Struthers when stories of abuse reach a wider audience?
A church resource:
[
thirtyoneeight.org]