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Kirkby Christian Fellowship
Posted by: brokenbycheryl ()
Date: March 01, 2007 01:42AM

I dont care if they know who I am anymore . After the terrible place they took me too( and all the other people ).Its time the truth was exposed. If you think you know me please reply.Lets get this show on the road...

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Kirkby Christian Fellowship
Posted by: brokenbycheryl ()
Date: March 01, 2007 01:44AM

I M definately getting stuff off my chest today and feel better for it.

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Kirkby Christian Fellowship
Date: March 01, 2007 03:42AM

Hi There BBCheryl.
I am pleased you feel better, We think we know who you are.
The big promlem with KCF was/is, there is no accountabliliy. Ultimately God will hold them (and us) to account, but as other churches may have councils, ministry teams etc that can redress greivences of members. This church has inflicted massive damage to folk without fear of the consequences.
May i say, I and my wife are so sorry we failed to go after the 1 stray sheep, when we left, our eyes where opened and we had to ask God to forgive us for how we had behaved whilst in the fellowship, you see there is a cost to all of our actions, and if we done things that were not of God we should repent and we have. Please live your life to the max in God. God willing we will meet in the future. I am convinced that GOOD will triumph eventually. Please say to yourself each day 'I am not broken by cheryl' But LOVED BY GOD.. see you soon, We are praying for you.

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Kirkby Christian Fellowship
Posted by: onlyme ()
Date: March 01, 2007 08:06PM

can i ask why you have taken that post off your website? it was quite a long post and constuctively talked about using our experiences to support each other and move forward rather than setting up a 'slag KCF off' website up

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Kirkby Christian Fellowship
Posted by: bruisednotbroken ()
Date: March 01, 2007 09:02PM

hello peeps! I think I may know one or two of you, not 100% certain. I have just found this forum and have found it hard to read your posts. Having been involved in KCF for around 3 yrs. or so, and left hurriedly, I am always rattled when I go over old ground iyswim.

I am sad that we've been exposed to such a harmful "christian" church...I use that term lightly as I deem KCF to be a cult too!

I am still bruised from the experiences I had in their midst but they no longer control my life. My one great sadness on leaving the fellowship was not saying good-bye to a very few people whom I had grown close to and liked very much. This bothers me to this day...but I cannnot retrace my steps and seek these folk out. To my knowledge they are still active in KCF.

I have recovered from a breakdown and am still receiving counselling and although I have been on medication (anti-depressants) for the four years since leaving KCF, I am happily "myself" again, and have almost completely come off the meds.

It is a long, confusing, painful journey to find you can think for yourself, trust yourself, believe in a loving God, learn to love ordinary people again (and not ONLY Christians)....it is a harder journey to learn to trust again! How I wish my trust in people had not suffered in the way it has...but I do believe that even that which was stolen from me in the form of trusting people will again function in my life. I am sad that I can trust non-Christians more readily than I will ever trust Christians again....and this comes as a result of being involved in KCF and at least two other Christian churches/groups where the teachings were deceitful, abusive and very damaging.

I will always be grateful that God opened my heart and my eyes to KCF and opened my heart to his all-embracing love for me. A childlike faith is what I am left with and that is sufficient. Blessings to you all for sharing your experiences on here.

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Kirkby Christian Fellowship
Posted by: rosebud ()
Date: March 02, 2007 01:09AM

Hello Everybody on this forum. I am so sorry you have all been through this. I am an ex member of the fellowship. It has affected my whole family including myself. And we are all still picking up the peices and life will never be the same again.. I was practically raised in the fellowship, it was my family. I was subjected to what i can only describe as serious mental abuse. I was only Thirteen years old when this was happening. Instead of making me believe in god it destroyed my faith. So eventually i left. I was threatend with hell because there is nothing worse than a back slidden christian. I was Fiffteen then My mum had a breakdown , trust me, because of the fellowship, and they nearly broke up my parents marriage.( I am sure they will be ready to tell their story one day.) I was left to pick up the peices, sixteen, alone. Started loosing my friends because i couldn't just leave my parents to it, i could not have a normal life. That is when i discovered amphetamines and jack daniels.I had my finger hovvering over the self destruct button for a very long time. I was always searching for the peice that was missing and made some terrible choices and hurt many people with my anger. I feel God again now. I have my own beliefs which i know in my heart are right. I have my love for god back now. But i would never ever become part of a church again. And yes i am still fighting my own personal demons which being raised in a cult sticks you with. God saved me from the most destructive of my addictions, He gave me a son. Which trust me is a miracle and i am working on my self esteem. And i know one day my family will start healing. Even though the scars will always be seen Like the ones from my addiction. I blame the fellowship for the bad times. I blame them for my low self esteem because frankly they made me feel like a scumbag. I blame them for my addictions. And i blame them for killing my love of fellowship. I would love to see kcf shut down . Unfortunatly my story is one of many.I will talk to anyone in detail of what my family has sufferd if it will help stop them.

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Kirkby Christian Fellowship
Date: March 02, 2007 01:39AM

To Onlyme, I've did'nt get to see the posting you submitted, about moving on and supporting each other. But I think your missing the point with the 'slagging off KCF website'. This belittles what to a lot of people are very sad and damaging periods in their lives. Is it any wonder that we want to warn other of the potential danger to other people by giving our side of the story. I tried several different routes to resolves issues with KCF and all were rejected outright. This forum by its very nature is to warn others about churches that overstep the mark. Don't for one minute think whats been said on this website is 'slagging off', its the tip of the iceberg, believe me i know a great deal more about the goings on in KCF than whats been published here.

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Kirkby Christian Fellowship
Posted by: John W ()
Date: March 02, 2007 01:48AM

I left KCF a few years ago and would agree to most of what has been said on this page. It took a long time of questions (a lot of those questions where about the church as a whole). Words like dictator and controling did apply; the idea that you could move up the pole to get power was there and I could point at a few that, I think, liked the power.

I have talked to others who have esaped, none had anything good to say about the fellowship as a whole. I am only sorry that some nice people are in a state of blindness or denial about what is going on around them. Pages like this will have an impacted for the good.

Sorry to hear about ‘broken’ and glad you are getting better. I did know people were ‘taken in hand’ this was seen as being good for the person, at least that was the offical line. There were bits of news I heard but I only put weight on them now I have got out. I am sorry that I didn’t take more note at the time.

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Kirkby Christian Fellowship
Posted by: onlyme ()
Date: March 02, 2007 02:03AM

Hi David, I think you've missed the point of what I was trying to say...

Here is the post from the other website - not written by me but someone I'm close to...

"Hi to all; members of Kirkby Christian Fellowship, ex members, new members, old members, brothers and sisters.

I’m an ex member of KCF. I left some time ago to pursue my own life, and what I knew to be right in God for my life. Despite the church telling me otherwise. I have since moved on to be a member of another church, carried on in my faith, and grown as a person spiritually, physically and mentally (well maybe not the last one!?!) My new church is also imperfect, but it is adequate. It is all we can ever hope for here on earth. It is ‘sufficient’.

There can be no doubt that people have been wounded at the fellowship. I am one of those who were wounded too. I have moved on, and I have used those experiences. Our experiences make up who we are, undoubtedly. We can take an abusive situation and let it be a black ink spot on a white sheet. It can be our focus, taint who we are, make us bitter and potentially, it can destroy our eternity. But there is hope! A negative experience can be used to fuel us. We have a choice how we use that energy, there is the potential to destroy and tear down, or to help other people move on from their negative experiences. This (website) is a perfect opportunity for us all to explore and share our experiences. To help one another grow and move on. Or it can be a place where we come to be bitter and ‘bite back’ at those who hurt us. These things are not easy, it takes courage to leave an abusive situation and I do not want to make light of, or take anything away from anyone who has turned things around the way I have described. It is a huge thing and words like ‘brave’ and ‘courageous’ do not do it justice.

Sometimes talking things through with someone you trust can help. It is not always gossip, or going against the elders and as you can read in scripture it is not wrong to question (even God.) We can become frightened that everybody else seems to know more than we do, and we just go along with what others are saying because they seem more confident. It is good to question, it is not good to follow blindly. There are counselors; Christian and otherwise, who can help and be a support and be a valuable source of encouragement. Places like [www.reachuk.co.uk] and [www.philippi.co.uk] Philippi are pretty good, very caring and will not force their beliefs on you.

If you are feeling like you may be part of a church that is heavy shepherding, if you are feeling controlled, manipulated or abused by your church or elders then the chances are you probably are. We all need to learn to trust the voice inside that says what is right for you. It is not the flesh, it is what you were given by God, common sense, your own experience. You know what is right for you.

Some questions you might want to ask yourself;
Do your leaders spend a lot of time reminding you of who is in charge? Are words like obedience and submission used quite a lot? Is there a preoccupation with performance, numbers, size of church, new members? If things are not how they ‘should’ be, holy enough, big enough, good enough, how are you treated? Are you cast out, condemned. How do you feel generally? Do you feel condemned, not good enough? Are there unspoken rules? Through peer pressure maybe, are there things you aren’t supposed to talk about? (By talking about a problem, you are not causing it, you are just exposing it.) Do you feel you cannot leave the church? Do your elders tell you that you are a ‘chosen people’ or somehow elevated above other Christians? Who made your leaders leaders? Do you feel weighed down by your faith, your church or your walk? Perhaps through busyness? How are scriptures interpreted? Are they interpreted out of context, think of biblical context. How are you treated if you leave, or how do you treat people who have left? Friends for years, family almost; are they/you cut off?

These things can be subtle, and are signs of an abusive church. We can doubt the voice inside us that tells us these things are happening. We tell ourselves “don’t be silly”, and “they know what they’re talking about”. You know what’s right for you.

It’d be great to hear from ex members, current members, leaders, members of other churches, those with experience…

You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free."

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Kirkby Christian Fellowship
Posted by: Liverpool Writer ()
Date: March 02, 2007 02:25AM

Onlyme, I have not removed any comments from my website. I think you'll find the comments you referred to under this post. I assume you just forgot where you had posted it!

By characterising the site as "slagging off" KCF, you are playing right into the hands of the abusers. It is a public site making public allegations because abuse is wrong and MUST be exposed. It is no virtue to cover up abuse under the guise of not being "bitter" or "moving on" or being "constructive". I will continue to be loud and public in what I say about the Fellowship, because if vulnerable people can be warned, and future abuse can be prevented, I will have done the least I can as a human being.

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