Something I forgot to mention but might be quite useful. Obv i don't know specificly who you're talking about so don't know where they would rank in what i'm about to say, but the way kirkby christian fellowship runs is this: at the top you have cheryl doyle, she has the final say an controls everything and as i understand it now, she is grooming another person to take over so they also rank pretty high in the chain of command, second down are the leaders of which there are pretty much two teirs, or the inner circle and the outer circle- the inner being closer to doyle and therefore more influential to the rest of the church, then you have the offspring of the leaders aged 25 and under usualy, they have clout because their parents lead the thing and then you basicly have everyone else. The basic aim of everyone below the inner circle is to reach the inner circle and get close to doyle- some people will never manage it but still try, some can swoop in and do it easy, and some gradualy move up the chain of command.
This means therfore that people will go to great lengths to be and stay acceptable, relationship wise-nothin gets past cheryl. Most if not all dating relationships request permission off her first, if they don't and are found out they are punished. Also, most dating relationships start with a veiw to marriage (only one ever whilst i was there ended without marriage). Therefore not only was ur friend goin against 'the done' thing by dating in secret- but to also be in a homosexual relationship would doubly have its repercussions.
Mostly the punishments are bein ostracised from the group- i.e being banned from a few meetings etc which in ther culture of acceptance from doyle at any cost, usualy makes them more desperate to get back into her good books.
I don't know if that helps you understand a bit more about the way they work or not. If you have any questions please ask. I know we can't really talk specifics on here but we can at least share our experiences in a general way until we can email.

They destroyed my life well it was the Cheryl Doyle a dictator and control freak.Who made it known that she handed people over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh if they sinned.This is what she did to me cos I started speaking the truth and she didnt like it. I had many breakdowns whilst in that church and that had never happened to me before.Lets speak the truth and break the power of lies.....

broken- i am so sorry for what happened to you- i understand what it feels like. But kirkby christian fellowship did not distroy my life- to let them completely destroy me is to let them win.
You said that you spoke out the truth, so realise the truth- you can either let them destroy you and your faith an a million other things, or you can keep going, get stronger and slowly start to heal. Kirkby christian fellowship may have taken part of my life an ruined it- but i will not let them take the whole of it. Brokenbychery, please- do not let them destroy you completely, far too many people have done that and it breaks my heart.
Know this: your out an its a beggining, your free, and you can start again and be healed.

Surely to one way to break them would be to show them that you can live in a better way than they can?!

Thanks for your reply firefly. I have rebuilt my life and am continuing to rebuild. It has taken 10 yrs just to deal with the pain , I am still facing issues today because I turned to drugs and alcohol to numb the pain and the feeling of hoplessness. I have also periodically suffered from clinical depression as a result of what happened to me. The hardest thing to overcome was the fact they had turned the closest members of my family against me. Today I have accepted that. I am now clean and sober and live my life one day at a time. I realise I was powerless over what happened, and all I have to concentrate on is keeping my side of the street clean.I have had to let go and let God. Otherwise I am wasting what is left of my life. This is the first opportunity I have had to share with others the truth of what happened as I had a problem trusting people . On another note I met and knew some really genuine lovely people in that fellowship and for that I am grateful today. Im a bit sad still as I know some have left the fellowship, and I would love to be in contact with them to salvage some friendship, as I still hurt over them...

Hi, folks, it's terrible to read of all your experiences. It is amazing that this kind of thing goes on and the community is more or less blind to it. Even other Kirkby church leaders seem to have taken the softly-softly approach and have never dared rock the boat.

My site is back up, by the way - some will have noticed it has been down for a few months. The url now is kirkbyfellowship.blogspot.com. It's a different format, and it is not yet complete, but I've managed to put a few items of interest up.

Thanks for those who have already contacted me privately. If anyone else has anything to share, please do not hesitate to get in touch. You should be able to email or PM me through this site.

Re: KCF: to all those out there that have suffered at the hands of this group, Do not fear, the walls are coming down. all that was hidden will be exposed. I was a fomer leader there with my wife, most of you already will have guessed who i am. You see, I'm not afraid of them and they know it. You are not alone, Hold fast to the truth, Jesus is above all things full of mercy and truth. This group have destroyed more peoples faith in God than anything satan could have thrown at them. You see what really gets up their goat, is that they hate to see folk move on when they've left the fellowship, that's the thing they use to control people. For example..... 'such and such is left and going nowhere now (church) they've really gone to pot, it must be true what our leaders said of them' Do you see? Be strong, God has not deserted you, holdfast to the truth, the truth sets you free. the're not free, because the're not in the truth. See you later

Do No Lose Hope, each day thank God for bringing you out of such a destructive group. Don't cut yourself off, you are not alone. God is not mocked, these leaders will be punished in due course. Try and get in touch with former memebers, I know there are still good people out there. Together we can bring the walls down.

To all those who have suffered at the hands of this group. Do not lose heart. You are not alone, Do not be afraid, they have absolutely no power over you, save what you let them have. Thats how they operate, once you face them up front, the're like the cowards you expected.
The're's more of the likes of you close by, By God's grace we can organise ourselves to expose this church for what it is.. a cult

I do know you Dave and you were always a sweet man, gentle and kind...
As were others who brought me up in God when I first joined these people I always counted as friends...God is a big God he sees everything .He has never left me nor forsaken me.I had an interesting dream about 5 years ago that I must share with you at some point. Cheryl always uses a technique that was used by Hitler "Divide to Conquer". I have worked for big business corporations since leaving Kirkby Fellowship and it amazed me they use the same management technique as Cheryl. That did astound me when the realisation hit. The scripture that has come to mind throughout all this correspondence is the one about the good shepherd the one who left the 99 and went after the 1 lost sheep.I have always tried to do that in pastoral care. However I can not ever say that anyone came after me . Possibly because everyone had been informed at a meeting that I was no good and they should not have anything to do with me. People were banned from attending my christian wedding at the time. Then I found out they watched my wedding video and ripped it to bits. Not Godly behaviour at all. But that is all water under the bridge now I am older and wiser and feel like I have grown up now...

On reflection I also wonder how Pastors can safely operate on their own without Pastoral oversight. Proper Pastoral oversight from people who are there all the time to see what goes on in meetings. Not from someone who is out of the picture. In my experience when visiting ministers have said anything, that was considered critical they were dropped and sent to coventry too. I like what you said Dave about how Satan has used KCF more to inflict wounds on people. In my experience that is true. I feel sorry for the ones that are so gullible and trusting, that they have lost the power to think things through for themselves with God. Of course this is classic co-dependency. I was told that after my divorce I could not remarry again as this would be adultery.Even though my marriage had been anulled as my ex-husband was violent and had landed me in hospital a few times. I at that time knew that was not true and a visiting lovely man of God confirmed that I was right when he prayed for me.