Yes Cheryl and my self had a masturbation talk at Beths house meeting.

Oh my God Trina that is superstition picking stones out of the bag. Its like the national lottery. That is not christian behaviour no wonder all her children all left home and ran away from her. That is mental cruelty. How has she got away with this crap for so long. I am a hippy too Trina I dont hold with all this uptight ,judgemental born again nastyness

It seems crazy to me how can you condemn people for masturbation and then tell people she manipulates her husband with sex to get whatshe wants...How is that different from prostitution?

Its amazing after all these years the facts we have talked about still have the capability to utterley horrify me..

Here is a classic horror story .I am bi-sexual and when I joined the fellowship I needed to discuss my sexuality with a leader. Cheryl and Dave didnt want to know. So one night when a leader was giving mea lift home in their car I broached the subject I was about 20 at the time. This leader was in their mid 40s I shared I was bi then the leader came out with me that they ahd been actively bi when thwy were in the world ,next thing there was a hand on my knee. I have never got out of a car so fast in all my life....Talk about sexually repressed and predatory...

With all the sexual stuff so many of you have been confronted with at Kirkby it makes me feel quite humble as for my part in the fellowship, I was controlled totally through brainwashing and the knitted relationship thing. I never heard much, if any, talk about sexual behaviour or mis-behaviour. I am so sad, and even angry too, that you were treated in such an inhumane way!

I did wonder while I was in the fellowship about a lot of the teaching being based on Cheryl's dreams...and we had "housegroup" meetings in the hall where we sat around tables and tried to interpret these dreams...at least that was what we were supposed to be doing. I just didn't get it at all! It made no sense to me....and we'd spend hours with this kind of exercise going on!

One thing that did bother me from almost the first contact I had with the fellowship was after Cheryl took ill and went into hospital from the retreat place where we were staying....all the teaching that went on in her absence was done mostly by Mary (a small amount by her husband as well) but it was all stuff that was fed to her through Cheryl. I was worried about that as it seemed Cheryl couldn't let control of the teaching go beyond her own instructions. And it played with my mind all the teaching because it never seemed to make any sense...disecting stuff about Ruth (in the bible) and I felt really a stupid Christian. None of it made any sense...it was like drowing in quicksand or thick mud....my mind just couldn't get a grip on it at all.

And then eventually Cheryl's understudy (whose name again I can't remember...she was a young woman...a nurse, I think) and Cheryl were jointly planning the teachings. That always seemed rather odd to me too. Actually I think her name was Karen...but I could be wrong on that.

To me, it just seems like 3 years of my life was wasted and my head was so screwed up...and even now when I recall, or attempt to recall a lot of the teaching/experiences, it's as if my mind can't bring it to the forefront. I don't know how to explain it any better. It almost seems like I've been able to block out a lot of it and whether that is God's way of protecting me or my own way of trying to forget, well, I just don't know.

I'm still really wobbly about it all....and fearful of confrontation. That makes me feel like a real coward. I guess it isn't revenge or justice I want for these folk, especially the main leaders in KCF, but just a way to prevent others from falling into their clutches and for those who are involved and afraid, to actually get out! Does anyone identify with any of what I've said....

TBH, I'm very near to tears as I type this. How can I ever leave all this stuff behind like a sack of garbage and move on? I am so angry that the search for a deeper faith drew me to an abusive church like KCF and even before that to a church with a very controlling one-man-band ministry in my hometown. Ironically I was escaping from that church and thought I'd found a wonderful group of Christians in Kirkby. How wrong could I be!

An Open lettere to he members of Kirkby Christian Fellowship..

John 13 34-35

I'm aware by the high number of hits this web site has taken in the last several days that more than ex-members have been viewing it.

I write this letter to all of this 'fellowship', I am aware how information is suppressed unless it is fed through the top first,
this information is then turned into propaganda. The beauty of this forum is they can't stop you from looking at this site, wether its in your home, at work or
somewhere you feel safe enough away from their reach. My aim: Is for you reader to look at all the peoples experiences in this site and to start asking youselves
'Are these people telling the truth, and I am frightened of what i feel is happening now, but feel i cannot do anyhing in case I am found out'.

If you'r reaction is to say 'no', i suggest you stop reading now, you have already made your mind up and if this site hasn't started alarm bells ringing in you. You cannot
think the unthinkable. God is not afraid of you questioning anything, why should you not be afraid to think the 'impossible'. This is called 'free will' He gave it to all this people.

What has hapened in the last 5-6 years were ex-members have left, is not a new thing, this has been a continuous movement, but because the numbers where small they went unnoticed.
Even 30 years ago a leader was accused of being a 'witch' and people were shouting at them 'what is the problem with us' before they left.

Since i left a host of lies has propergated about our reasons why, one was we were 'after leadership and couldn't have it' so we left. Do you really believe this? in that period at least 4 leaders left with
a combined total of approx 90 years work in the 'fellowship' no one was more commited to the call than these people, usually they were the first in the buildind and the last out. If this was the case why didn't they
leave years ago when each one of hauled over the coals for doing something, being told to 'step down' from leadership and suffer months if not years for something we were to blame for. If there are any people reading
this, who have been\are in leadership, they will know exactly what i'm going on about.

Do you believe the doyles don't lie? why? do you really think truth come from their mouths when they speak. O.K. lets go with the latter, they always tell the truth, Ask youselves this,If we and you know who we are, are all that they say we are. Why are we still here? why are we still moving in God, why have we seen more of God's work in the last 6 years than the previous 20 years? we got involved with Merseyfest in 2006? , The NE1 festival in the northeast in 07, have you heard of the 'Boiler House' in Liverpool?, what about 24/7?, what about International prayer week?, are you involved with other churches in Kirkby?, Surely if we are the people they say we are, and being 'put under judgement' (something they do with wild abandon to anyone who disagrees with them), why has God allowed us to prosper?

One thing that really disturbs me about the 'fellowship', is how they split families. I'll ask these poeple who think it was noble to have nothing to do with their sons,daughters,mothers or fathers, because they either left the fellowship or fell away from God. What would Jesus Do?. Do you think its o.k. to evangelise a stranger, when you reject your own?. I think this is a tragady, some of you will be devestated when the truth comes in.

Fear is used as a manipulative tool in places where the leaders don't want truth to reign, unless its their version.

One thing we discovered when we left the 'fellowship' was Our God is Bigger than anything else. We have seen miracles. His Grace is sufficent. What I'm trying to say is, this is for any one who knows and loves God, no one is special in God's eyes, we are all loved equally. They's no greasy pole or boot licking to do.

Can you ever worship regulary in another church? why? Our daughters are more in another church than are own, we have other co-leaders who worship at another church, quite a few of our congregation supported another group in Towerhill. One of my daughers in working in Durham with Youth for Christ. Like i say its a big, big world out there.

Ask yourselves these questions: 1) Are you afraid of your leaders.
2) Can you confide in peole, or is there a risk this information will be passed on the the leaders.
3) Do you feel isolated when things go wrong
4) Are you frightened to question,even in your own mind, when you hear prophersies,the word and think its 'strange'
5) Do you want to go to he meetings, or do you have to push yourself
6) Do you ever get any time, just to sit and think.
7) Do you get the feeling the leaders keep expecting more out of you
Is you self esteem low

To anyone in the'fellowship' who is having doubts about being there. Don't be afraid. Be strong and courageous, you know where we live and we still have the same telephone number, we will speak\meet with anyone who needs help. we are almost in touching distance of some of you.

I am an ex-victim of this cult. Im so glad that we are all exposing it for what it is. So many of you have kept dark secrets for many years. I too have done the same. Its a classic abuse trick that is used to swear you to secrecy, and threaten you that you will be cut off, and go to hell if you ever speak out the truth. It seems that the leaders of this fellowhip have kept you like "mushrooms in the dark and fed you bullsh*t". I can only say that Cheryl is a nasty control freak and Mary is a fool for being her puppet. She censors the teachings so that nobody is allowed to think for themself. How very weird when there are such experienced leaders with all those years experience, they are not allowed to even deliver their own teachings. That is not good, they must be very depressed that they are controlled and treated like children by Cheryl. Surely they must feel terrible inside about this. There were some nice peoplein this fellowship years ago when I was there but they have either died, or have left. Reading through all these replys I have been crying today. How many more people out there are still hurting and havnt found this site. Broken but bruised sitting down in groups and analising Cheryls dreams sounds very bizarre. Is she going to write a new bible as well based on all her dreams? Broken all you can do is keep coming in here and be honest and get our love and support. Im sure we will all get better in time at least we have each other...

Love to you all ,

Yetixxxx

Yo Trina you make me laugh!!

On a more serious note your experience with the doyles, when you had to pick a stone out of the bag. In the old Testament This was the 'urim and humin' stones. The thing was used to settle aruments make important decisions etc, when the people were unsure what to do. This what they did to you and that other person was scandlous. For his alone the doyles should be locked up. You were i think about 12-13 years old when it happened. Correct me if i'm wrong, but wasn't it about the foster daughter and they were accussing the both of you about spreadin rumours abou her? Am i right' did one of you say 'what if i pull out the wrong one will i die?' and dave doyle said 'yes that's right you'll die' is that true? Trina don't worry and feel guilt about seeing the stone, you were a kid what they done to you here was horrific. Free yourself from any guilt you have. love davexx

After being mentally and physically abused as a child(no sexual abuse except in Dave and Cheryls head). My Dad was really bad to me but I have forgiven him cos I know he is an abuse survivor himself. But that thing with the stones they did with you was unbelievable. Legally they have no right to do that . I would have been terrified. I remember Cheryl sharing with me that before she was a christian she was very rebellious and got into witchcraft... Makes you wonder doesnt it. The way they separate children from their parents is very evil and is so they can gain control of people who are alone and alienated... Its an bizarre mentality that wants to control a group of individuals totally