Personal attacks are not allowed here.

Everyone must be courteous and reasonable.

This is also not a place to preach or promote personal religious beliefs.

The topic of this thread is KCF and its behavior.

Many years ago Cheryl Doyle told everyone that in times gone by christmas trees were pagan, the baubles were used for fortune telling and meat was hung on trees for deamons to eat, she said that the meat had been replaced with chocolate ornaments. Anyone who had a christmas tree was frowned on. At the time most of KCF gave up christmas trees, it caused a lot of difficulties for those who had families that were not part of KCF.

Nowadays most members seem to have christmas trees.
Does anyone know when they changed back to having Christmas trees? Why did they change back?? was any explanation ever given for reintroducing them

Joanna Kujath shares her experience of being in a Christian cult since childhood.I identify very much with her story. I came from a narcissistic family, which made me more susceptible to narcissistic abuse in KCF. However growing up in a narcissistic family, had awakened the quiet rebel in me. I knew what I experienced “at home”, was unjust, and unhealthy.
In KCF I found more of the same, it took time and suffering for me to realise this. It was a “ no win” situation. Forced to give up everything and everyone I had known, I suffered from chronic grief and CPTSD. I didn’t have the luxury of therapy after my escape, I had to “wake up” on my own, by researching and meditation to find healing, also a 12 step programme for co-dependency gave me a bridge to normal living, working through the fear and resentments, and cycles of behaviour that had kept me trapped in the past. Joanna shares how she felt she had lived many lifetimes in her life, that is my experience also. I have been through such pain and suffering grief, depression, anxiety and loss. I’m delighted to say as an old person, I finally feel I have recovered. It’s taken a solid 20 years of hard work to get here, but it is possible if you want it badly enough.
The correlation between narcissism, and cult abuse is one and the same. So therefore programmes or coaching for recovering from narcissistic abuse, work really well. (There are massive amounts of information on YouTube, on Narc recovery and how to do the work.

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Happy New Year to everyone.I hope you all find joy, healing and liberation on your road to recovery!
This is my New Years gift to those seeking answers, on the “road less travelled” finding true recovery and happiness in this life.
A great interview with Alexandra Stein, who tells it like it is, in a “ down to earth” matter of fact way. She illuminates all the practice’s found in KCF, and other cults. So if you hunger for understanding, you will love it!


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Alexandra Stein discusses Cults and Cult Leaders in this video. She describes the main leader, with all the control at the apex of the cult, and “nasty” lieutenants, generally horrible people, who do the main leaders bidding. That really resonated with me, as this site is full of descriptions of those people. Many left and formed their own groups, filled with family members, so that they could regain a sense of, controlling others again. For them it was always about power.
She also is met with questions from people at her book promotion, which is very interesting as to what type of person becomes “ The Apex Leader “ and why?
So much useful information about leaders, that helps make sense of the leadership in KCF and generally what damaged and dysfunctional human beings they are. Of course we know that, because we were on the receiving end of them for a long time.
I love the point Alexandra makes at the beginning about writing. Writing is a very powerful tool, and is a great catalyst in recovery. By writing about trauma and cult experiences, it allows one to heal, integrate and make sense of the horror. It is one thing to write in a purely cerebral intellectual way, but being “real” and writing from the heart, is the way recovery happens. So those who watch this site, who have unraveled, start a daily journal and get writing your feelings down, it really helps.


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I remember Christmas trees being a bad thing, strange how things change. I remember pop music being banned too, most worldly things were frowned upon or outright forbidden. My family burned their music collection so it wouldn't go on to harm anyone else. Years later, leaders are into the same music. Why are these things suddenly acceptable? And what else has become acceptable that once wasn't? Scripture is full of advice on how to treat your slaves, “Slaves, be obedient to your human masters with fear and trembling", "Slaves, in reverent fear of God submit yourselves to your masters", "Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything" etc etc etc, It was Christians who helped abolish slavery, some of their case based on scripture. What changed? And what else is seen as not good in scripture... I'm looking at you, Leviticus 18:22. I find it hard to understand that so many branches of Christianity believe so many different things all based on the same words. Female leaders for example. It's almost as though you can use scripture to justify whatever you like or don't like.

Thanks for the links Littleyellowspider. Stein is really good, her book is exceptional. She talks at the end of one of the videos (sorry I've not had time to look at everything) about the Milgram experiment and others. Milgram studied obedience and how we do as we're told by people we perceive as having authority - police, doctors, teachers etc. Most people in Milgrams experiments wrestled with their conscience, even got really stressed about it, but they still behaved cruelly towards other humans because they'd been told it was for a good reason. Derren Brown did a similar copy in recent years and got very similar results, you can watch it here.

Stein mentions other research from the same time as Milgram, one of them was Asch's conformity experiment which you can watch here. A group of people are asked to match line lengths, quite an easy task. If the actors in the group gave the wrong answer, the subject of the experiment goes along with the group and gives the wrong answer too. (75% went along with the wrong answer at least once), even if its obviously wrong. It makes you think.

I'm reminded of the stuff about knitted relationships and how "you can lose your existing relationships" - Billy Turner asking "do you want this level of pain? Some people can't cope and have had nervous breakdowns." Going along with such damaging things is reckless and irresponsible if this is truly happening.

So another little gem to share with you.
I found this video resonated with me greatly. It is practically “my story” in so many ways.
Karen Unrue is a Trainer in trauma recovery and anxiety management -as well as an author - having recently published her first book: Blue Jelly-Fish syndrome: How to Break Free from Stigma And Maintain Hope - while living with a mental illness.
She has suffered from a form of PTSD, brought on partly by a demanding Fundamentalist Christian upbringing.
If you are unraveling and don’t know where to go, there are links in the description bar below the video. Hope you find this helpful.

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Deprogrammed0110

Nothing hurts more, than the sting of betrayal felt, by these people.
A guaranteed “ long dark night of the soul” quickly ensues.

Which is the only way to escape any cult. Or any toxic friendship for that matter!

So take it as a blessing in disguise!

Brokenbycheryl- What I didn’t realise for many years is the people in KCF lie!
It was such a shock when I first realised it. I second guessed myself, because I had a hard time believing these so called spiritual people - I had been taught to respect were liars. They actually lied about me. Worse still there was no justice, no-one protecting my integrity. Then treated like a pariah by everyone, for something I hadn’t done.

Deprogrammed0110


They feed off gossip and rumours about you, it’s like it’s the only excitement
they get in their sad little lives. Plus it gives them a sense of power, to wield
scriptures and pronounce judgement on you and snitch to the leaders. This cements their influence with the inner circle, as they try to climb the ladder to get there.

It’s funny you sharing this Deprogrammed, as I left because of that reason.
My best friend was like a sister to me, she knew me inside out. I really loved her.
She listened to gossip about me, in fact I shared my feelings with someone, I thought I could trust. Trying to deal with a situation, that I was finding difficult to deal with, I hadn’t done anything wrong, I was struggling with temptation and needed a friend to offload to. This person then embroidered what I had shared. She went to the leaders about me. Then the person who had been like a true sister to me, for years, believed the gossip and the lies, confronted me, but did not allow me to tell her the real truth. I’d had enough of this behaviour after enduring 7 years of it, that was the final straw for me.
It’s very sad but I found out that the so called “ sister figure “ not only believed lies about me, but replicated them, to Cheryl. I should have seen the warning signs. Many years before she had lied to my face. Every Saturday a gang of us, Used to go to town, we would congregate in the Christian Bookshop. Well one Saturday morning I rang her to make arrangements to go there, and she said she wasn’t going. Being an independent type, I decided I would go on my own.
As I arrived at the bookshop, imagine my amazement and hurt as she and the gang of friends were in there. Also imagine her face, as she saw me walk in.
So yes these people do lie, manipulate and spread false gossip. I’m sure she would
still discredit me to people I love today, given the chance. Real friends do not do this. They see the truth about the core integrity of a person, and are not swayed by malicious gossip or people with a hidden agenda.

I don’t give a damn if anyone in KCF knows my true identity, I’m sure many of them already know, and my ex-best friend will truly know after what I have just shared.
There is more about 2-faced stuff that she did to me. There is also more about S.H running back to Cheryl with lies about me, because she was jealous and possessive over me being friends with this “Sister figure”. Oh yes I bet you didn’t realise that did you? She told lies to Cheryl about me to get me shunned, so she could have you all to herself. No doubt that was the Christian Bookshop scenario. So SH well done, you succeeded in your cunning plan.
So why am I talking about it now? Well it’s good to face the fact that these people lie, can be jealous and oh so manipulative. This can be very liberating for
us who have been gaslighted by them. Their minds are warped by years of being mind-controlled. They are simply very twisted people, with a very twisted doctrine, that does not have anything to do with Truth, Kindness, or loyalty. Some
Of them would sell their grandmother, to get into that inner circle and wield power.
Nowadays when I detect that someone has lied about me, I will not cower, and go into self-hate mode and curl up and die like I did in the past. Now I confront and call it out, because I have spent my life affected by this. But I tell you, I will not tolerate this anymore.

Remember folks one thing is for sure in this life “ What comes around goes around. So stop telling lies KCF. The truth always comes out in the end.