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SmokerSally
Former and ex,
I have some in-laws that are involved in Impact and I would really like to understand why words like help and try are so terrible to use. I know that it has been mentioned before that these words are some of the first that are labeled as bad (for lack of a better term) but not why they are not to be used. I would appreciate the info. Thanks
There is a demonstration the Quest trainer will begin when deemed appropriate. He will ask a woman up to the stage and tell her that she is going to be a part of a little performance. She will be looking for help to go somewhere (to a party or a game, once I heard they used orgy) and that she cannot get down from a hill (the stage) by herself without “help”. Then the trainer walks by, and the trainee yells something like, “Big strong man, I need to get to a party but I can’t get down the hill by myself, please help me!” Then the trainer bodily picks her up and walks her down the steps of the stage. In the second part, the trainee is coached to do the same thing but ask for “assistance” instead of help. Then the trainer, very politely, asks, “how may I assist you?”, and when she tells him, he does it. Then the trainer opens up the floor to the trainees to see what they thought the differences between the two situations were. Of course it comes down to “help” is disempowering and you give the message that a person isn’t enough to do it themselves when you “help”, and “assistance” empowers the person who requires it, keeping them in control.
Now, I am not going to say why I think that is as silly as I know it is.
The “try” lecture consists of the Quest trainer asking for a volunteer for a demonstration at the front of class. He then drops a marker on the stage and says, “try to pick it up”. The trainee invariably simply picks it up and the trainer says, “NO! [i:f878a8155f]TRY[/i:f878a8155f] to pick it up!” The trainee drops the marker and reaches for it and reaches for it and reaches for it, all the time the trainer in their ear, “try harder, you are almost there, keep trying! Etc.” but the trainee invariably fails to pick up the marker. Then the trainer says something to the effect of, “Well, so much for trying, huh?”, successfully demonstrating the axiom of Yoda the Jedi Master in the Empire strikes back (Which, by the way, they show the clip in a lift off weekend) of “Do or do not, there is no try.”
Well, do I really need to go into a debate about the existence or nonexistence of the term “Try”? I hope not. I do want to point out however that these lectures of “language coaching” and the logic behind them are crucial in the success of the mental conditioning process.
Is there anything else you would like to know?