Now that I have snapped out of that very horrible zone, I feel quite embarrassed about my behavior on this forum.
However it is also an indication of what decades of abuse (adding the spiritual abuse) can do to a person.
I guess that the healing modality that I picked was more than I bargained for. And I could never imagine what kind of purge it would be.
When we have been abused and could not or did not stand up for ourselves, it truly creates havoc within.
I did not know the power of spiritual abuse until the wounds opened.
Everything is stored in our consciounsess and emotional body. We often supresss the feelings via addictions…
But when we truly go deep and open the wounds up, it gets extremely ugly.
Do whatever you have to do people, but please do not let abuse take over like a furious demon within as it did with me.
As long as we carry the anger, hurt, revenge… we are not fully healed.
Sometimes in life we will not get closure. There will be no justice. Noone is going to pay for what they did. Noone stood up for us…
And this is the case with cult abuse. We must come to terms that there will be no justice and noone will recognize the abuse.
So we must find a way to make peace with it.
I am truly sorry for everything that happened to all of you in here and your loved ones. It is unforgivable and unacceptable.
Hoepfully we can grow from it rather than being destroyed by it.
Victory over abuse is healing. And gaining back a healthy realation with whatever one thinks divinity is. A relation free of fear.
First we freed ourselves from the cult and then we free ourselves from the wounds that attach us to them.
Taking our power back from the abusers is not as easy as finding the courage to enter battle with them.
It is when we no longer let them destory our peace of mind and construct a much better version of ourselves.
It is up to us to decide how long we want to hold on to the pain and bad memories.
But for sure abusers must be held accountable and Henry as well as this forum are the reason I was able to rise from the gutter.
If anybody feels ambitious, I found this website to be a good exemple of something that can be buit for SoI.