Chris Butler the Hidden Dungeon Daddy
Date: December 29, 2022 11:48PM
(Adult content - potentially triggering use of kink as a metaphor)
IMO one way to understand cults and abusive relationships is they are hidden, non consensual Sadomasochist Bondage Discipline set ups -- but -- the most important point -- are not clearly advertised as such.
In ethical conscious kinky BDSM encounters, the goal is for all parties to be satisfied according to their stated expectations.
In cults and abusive relationships the result is the opposite. Too many people are not told at the beginning what they are getting into and not told at the beginning what will be expected of them at **all stages** of the encounter. The ID of cults and abusive relationships is the number of people who do not freely depart but must escape and are not satisfied but report they are worse off than than before.
The recruiters are sweet smiling teachers of chanting, dancing, vegetarian cookery. They are not dressed in black leather, do not wear chain and padlock necklaces, do not march about in boots with whips and paddles on their belts.
Cultic and or abusive relatinships are labelled as tender, loving, promising of personal freedom growth, dignity. Intead of black leather and whips, you see garlands, yoga lessons. There's NO information that once you enter you are not permitted to protest, renegotiate, or depart and that you are in for servitude, degradation, various forms of financial, sexual, psychological torment and that your children will be born into medical neglect, emotional neglect and left utterly unprepared for life outside of a psycho dungeon.
In the world of ethical consensual kink (what I understand of it while standing at a safe, non participatory distance) is that people who do all this con sensually state at the outset who they are and what they want from partners.
Someone will say, "I get satisfaction inflicting pain and humiliation on someone who wants to feel pain and humiliation. I respect people who do not want this -- and expect them to stay away from me."
Someone else will say, "I get satisfaction from being ordered about as a slave, being humiliated, kept in suspense, kept guessing, being made to kneel, being screamed at."
THe two will then talk together about the "Scene" they wish to enact.
Then comes the most important part: how to signal to each other whether the subordinate person is getting scared and wants the scene to slow done, pause or -- its an emergency, stop immediately.
These are the agreed upon "safe words" or gestures.
In a conscious consensual sadomasochistic and or bondage set up, there is a clearly labeled beginning, middle and end -- and a well marked out emergency exit.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/29/2022 11:52PM by corboy.