My mother died of cancer--my father of complications related to diabetes. My only brother, a drug abuser, disappeared in the streets when he was 40 (around 1990). An exhaustive search turned up nothing. And one of my closest shepherd-friends (John Mahon, from my time in Redlands) died in his mid-30's of brain cancer--a few years after he was dismissed from the fellowship for objecting to th
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Invisible Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I remember how when one member died an early death > - not suicide - his heart just gave out - I > remember how the leader of the church , took a > position at that man's memorial service to > carrying on emotionally voicing how angry and > upset he was with this man who died , for not
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

paleface Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Larry, there actually are a few dead bodies in the > wake of the SS TLW. Several suicides from people > that felt they could never measure up to the > demands made by shepherds. I can't help but think > they would be alive today, if they hadn't been > exposed to the insane LW doctrines.
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Invisible Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Not long ago - In trying to contact an old friend > ( I had known for over 30 years ) I was told > through the grapevine not to contact that person > until I first had contact with the Shepherds in > the Valley Church and got there o.k. (I was also > told - It was a matter of protocol) So the
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Invisible Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- Many of the shepherds were out > of town that Saturday - so I met in the upstairs > apartment across the street from the church with > the 2 elders that were left in charge of the > church. > > I sat in a chair facing the two of them. It was > quite casual - they asked me some simple questio
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

FCSLC Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > It was a great, free and anointed time. (I had > hippie tendencies) > > How did it all go south??? Control freaks took over--and sucked the joy and spontaneity out of the fellowship. Many decent people ended up having 'bad spirits' as a result of attempting to survive in the new regime.
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

FCSLC Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I went to the church camp in Chico, CA back in the > 1970’s. There were many crazy, diverse people > in the “Walk” in those days. It was fun. Interesting...do you remember if anyone was crying out for a designated relationship?
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Invisible Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > It took me many years after I had left the church > to realize that we don't have to follow the lead > of some one who is leading us to do wrong. > Moses struck the rock in anger - instead of > speaking to the rock- as God told Moses to do - > and for this reason Moses was not allowed to
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

jhorning Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Where tlwf went wrong, in my opinion, was in > g/m proactive actions of splitting up married > couples. Playing God...poorly.
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

paleface Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Do you recall Jesus ever teaching about the "upward > flow principle" that Gary and Marilyn Hargrave teach? Matthew 19:21: Jesus said to him, "If you wish to be complete, go and sell your possessions and give to Gary and Marilyn, and you will have treasure in heaven."
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

paleface Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > The 90/10 rules is this: local shepherds are to > only spend 10% of their energy on the sheep, and > spend 90% of their energy ministering to the > "upward flow", i.e. Marilyn. If indeed 100% of the proceeds of the sale of the South Gate church went to Marilyn...that would be taking the upwa
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

larry bobo Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- After > reading his suicide letter, I was so grieved over > his wasted life. He got crossways with Apco and > was out the door like many before him. He was not > hopeless damaged goods like he was led to believe. > A little love and acceptance would have gone a > long way to bring healing to hi
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

FCSLC Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Edit: Please change "unexplainable" to > "inexplicable" in the above post. Thank you. > Sorry. Which reminds me...I'm sorry I blamed you for John's death. I don't think you were totally responsible.
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Invisible Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > What I did have difficulty with - was relating to > Donna, Gary's wife who came up to me in the > parking lot after a service. She drew near me and > I saw how she was suffering. Not only suffering > from her husband divorcing her but she had a new > baby in her arms and I think she was pres
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Invisible Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Around 1971 we began receiving phone calls at > our home at any hour of the night - to pray for > John Stevens, because he was under demonic > spiritual attack by his wife Martha. We were told > at that time, not to say anything to any one about > this, because only certain one's were bei
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

paleface Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- In the Living > Word, Gary and Marilyn certainly display bully > type natures. And they collect similar people > around them to be their hatchet men (and women). > I've known certain people who were kind and gentle > when they were just sheep in the church but became > mean while serving G&a
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

larry bobo Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > When many of the Walk predictions did not come to > pass, I wrote a letter to Apco about it. Although > I did not hear back from Apco personally, the > local shepherds were directed to remove me from > all involvement in leadership and not allow me to > speak in services. I was basically place
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

paleface Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I used to think it was all carefully calculated to > fool the sheep. But G&M seem to believe a lot of > this stuff. Such hubris. These guys are > batsheit crazy! On a side note, Kim Jung Un manages to continue consolidating his power. Can't underestimate the craftiness and ruthlessness of th
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Saw enough Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- At one point he said, "How do you > know our prayers weren't responsible for Nelson > Mandela?" Good point. But then again, how do you know they also weren't responsible for the sign language interpreter at his memorial?
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

paleface Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > With all the Pope attention, one thing you can bet > on is that Gary and Marilyn are telling the > churches that all of this happened because they > (G&M) created it with their prayers. Yes--and I hope the Pope is humble enough to realize how dependent he is on their prayers.
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

paleface Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I find it interesting that Gary and Marilyn are > talking up the present Pope so much. At some > point, you would think the LW sheep would put two > and two together and notice that G&M are not > following the Pope’s leading in taking a life > that isn’t so dripping with wealth. The Pope >
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

FCSLC Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > (These are my feelings-----sorry if they’re > unacceptable) Most everything written on this forum is unacceptable, probably because it comes from the heart.
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

paleface Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > One thing I heard over and over again while in the > Walk, was "You've got to get a revelation of > John". Then it was "You've got to get a > revelation of Marilyn." > > Come to think of it, I never really got a > revelation of either. I used to feel bad and >
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

If and when I get my chance to deliver lesson 39 of the First Principles to the Pope, and he has had time to read it, I'll do my best to reassure him that the The Living Word Fellowship deeply accepts him and has faith for what he is doing in the earth. I know this will be meaningful to him. Also, on a much lesser note, I am going to continue to pray for Miller, even though he now channels
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

QuoteFCSLC Much devastation took place; SLC membership dropped by two thirds. Any independent spiritual life was hunted down and labeled as rebellion because it was on the other side of “The Line that was Drawn”. Shepherd’s personality versus the sheep’s personality was the battlefield. I stayed too long and got crushed------simply outnumbered. My world was crushed. My personality was inju
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Quotelarry bobo I have come to the conclusion that there was really only one that actually wanted Martha dead - Marilyn. She wanted no competition. The rest of us were just not that fond of Martha's music - an operatic style we had no appreciation for. Good point. As much as I've disliked someone's musical taste, it has never led me (so far) to violently pray for their death.
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

And yet somehow Gary Hargrave was recognized by Cambridge Who's Who for demonstrating 'dedication, leadership and excellence in spiritual development and education.' Yeah right. You'll know them by their fruits.
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

QuotejhorningI remember, after JRS died, Gary said on a taped word that it was essentially over for John back in 1974 (I think that was the year he said), but they needed to keep the people busy so they came up with the unending intersession for him. John, Do you remember why Gary said it was over for John in '74? And did he really say that intercession was created to keep the people &
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Quotepaleface If you click on the "talk" tab, you can read the edit notes. Back and forth it goes. Doesn't surprise me, Paleface. On a grammatical level I know the experience (Is/Are/Are/Is) ;)
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

QuotechangedagainQuotepalefaceEurope? maybe. I used to think it was going to be Brazil for them. They need to be out of the US, so the law can't reach them. But maybe Brazil is no good either because the little people in the churches down there could legally press them. So I'm thinking they might buy up a small island in Fiji like some other cult leaders have done. (Like Franklin Jo
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families