Here is more emails going back and forth. Problems in marriage after their return from PSI7!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Re: [PSI7Team471] Any feedback?
On Mon, 9/22/08, Bxxxx Axxxx
From:
Subject: [PSI7Team471] Any feedback?
To:
PSI7Team471@yahoogroups.comDate: Monday, September 22, 2008, 6:57 PM
Strange I thought. My husband got out of psi7 and since then or I should say since we went to these classes he's been different. Not
in a good way. Example, since basic in July he's went out and turned his phone off about 8-9 times. In the 7 yrs we been together
he did that maybe 2x. He's been very cold towards me where as before he was a lot warmer. He accused me of taking interest in
someone from psi7 no idea where that came from. He said he see how people are so friendly up there and wonder what I was doing??????
How weird is that. It seems a lot of his team mates found someone on the ranch and did not care about the 30 day rule. Not my
problem. I told him our team was serious about our shit and I couldn't say for others but no I was not even thinking of it. I had
a whole lotta my own bs to deal with. So this whole being responsible for yourself thing has been challenging to work with.
However I been totally surprising myself. The angry Bxxxx would have had a divorce by now after I got done doing the pay back.
wow. I don't want to be that way and I realized that by me being mean to him that is what gets him to get into shape. What an eye
opener. So this past weekend he did it again this time for the whole weekend. Which was his first weekend home since he went to
psi7. He had to work for 2 wks in cali before he came home after psi7. I know why we attracted each other in the first place but now
I no longer am willing to go back to my ego. It never did serve me. However, it would have served me in making my husband act
right. Scary. So talk about realization. I will never go back to that, even if it means parting ways. I talked to him like I never
did before after this weekend. I told him that I will not go back to operating from ego, so this is what's in my heart that I was
really hurt and he's been taking this new loving me for granted. Based on results. When he graduated psi7 we established rules for
our marriage which he has broke every one repeatedly even the ones he has made. Still doesn't make it right for me to break them too.
I been going through some major trials especially within my marriage. I told him I choose not to be a taker and will not do
things back to him however I am no ones door mat. So we spoke as we always do and I went to church Wednesday night and he came and met
me there. We saw a counselor Thursday night where he said he realized how much I changed and freaked him out in a sense because
he hasn't made that kind of changes. Pretty interesting. Then I told him I hope for his self that he is sure about what he wants and
is doing it to be a better man not changing because I will walk if he doesn't change. Then it will just keep resurfacing. It has been
a challenging ride for me in my marriage. I It made me realize how empowered I am and thanx for some people from the team reminding of
rule #6. Reminding of how far I have come and to be responsible for me. I found myself picking at him and realized I was doing it just
because I was frustrated with myself. The bottom line is that I just wasn't willing to give him me anymore. The real me. I tried
justifying how he doesn't deserve to know the real me and therefore I'll just talk 2 him from my ego. wow what a trip. I so had to
call of me forward lately to shift constantly all my negative thoughts. In the corner of my eye I could see my whole list of
justifications for why I'm going to get a divorce and never speak to him in a really long time. His family was even adding to my
justification list. I so had to stop and focus and call forth the real me to be responsible and shift this to a positive path for
myself. I know, a long message. Thanks for taking the time to read it. So I have and I have been noticing when I am in resistance a
lot faster now. I thank god for psi it has definitely helped my children as well have a better mother. I know I can do anything
literally. Any feedback? Where do you draw the line between not being a door mat or how can I tell if I'm just taking a back door?
If rules was established and constantly broken by one player? The player breaking it is saying there's nothing wrong with it but they
don't want me to play by the same rules. What is that communicating?
(OK, DOES ANYONE SEE A PATTERN HERE? LOOKS LIKE THE HUSBAND HAS FOUND ANOTHER WOMAN AND IS GETTING READY TO DUMP HIS WIFE BECAUSE SHE HAD COME BACK AS A PSI BITCH.)
Dear Bxxxxx,
What a kind and open heart you have! My advise would be do not give up your positive, giving side - sounds like you are trying to stay on the right path but are experiencing major turbulence! I want to share with you that I just watched the movie that Rob recommended, 'The Secret', then I watched it 4xs over. Some relevant excerpts: The Law of Attraction states if we stay positive and focused on what we want, we are bound to attract it in our lives (and vice verse)... in a relationship it is easy to see/feel the negative things... so try writing down all the things that are going 'right' and all the things you appreciate in your husband - that he has contributed (perhaps ask him to do the same) and share the list every day. Listen openly just as we did in class. Just a thought...
(THEN SHE RECEIVES THE "SUPPORT" FROM HER POD-MATE)
My husband also returned from PSI7 last month and we are working on the fundamentals. (WORKING ON THE FUNDAMENTALS)
It takes effort but "When You Put Your Heart in it", and "Honesty", you may experience some "Precious Pain" and "Lessons Learned" but "If We Hold on Together", you will "Believe <you> Can Fly"... "My Wish" for you is complete love and happiness so "Dive" in, lead with your heart and go after the life you deserve!
Hugs,
Jxxxx
Re: [PSI7Team471] Any feedback?
Hey Bxxxx dont give up! I also have had some troubles with my hubby and am know seeing our marriage therapist again. Remeber old habits dont just disappear cuz u went to 7! it takes 90 days to install new habits. fight on, ur not a quiter! continue the counseling and hopefully the resentment and breaking of rules will stop. only u know what ur relatinship is like so be careful on the feedback cuz we will comment on what was wrote and do not know all that has happened between you both. My rule has always been if there is no physical or mental abuse then there is hope for a future together. I hope in your case its not that. being married is a learning process....so learn what works and toss out what doesn't. I love u and hope that with counseling and alot of love u are able to work things out!!!
(AND ANOTHER ONE; STARTING COUNSELING?????)
THE BEGINNING OF THE END FOR AT LEAST THREE COUPLES THANKS TO PSI SEMINARS.