My wife has just attended the Discovery training in Dallas. She is OBSESSED with the "group" and communication with others in the group she attended. If anyone has had loved ones in this group and have experienced a significant change in personality I need some insight to try and help her and our marriage.
If this is the first time you've heard about or come in contact with one of these "white-collar cults," there's a long history going back forty years or more. They've all pretty much morphed out of Werner Erhard's "est," Lifespring, scientology, and something called Mind Dynamics. They are intertwined with various interpretations of "Eastern" religions, pseudo psychotherapy, "encounter" groups, sales or motivation training, and real cults into a wicked brew of manipulative persuasion and hidden agendae. Conway and Siegelmen subtitled their book written in the 70s, "America's Sudden Epidemic of Personality Change." If you can find an early edition of "Snapping" you'll find the references to est.
This is frightening stuff, I wish I would have researched before she attended. My mother in-law had been very persistent about us attending the group. My wife finally agreed to go because her mother seemed to be so happy.
They are trained or "coached" to appear happy, upbeat, cheerful, enthusiastic, and "positive." It's part of the sales training. They want you to think their lives are so much better because of XYZ group.
Now she is using cliché’s (I acknowledge your experience…..), and cannot seem to understand she is not making sense when she refers to the group.
That's right out of Werner Erhard's (by way of L. Ron Hubbard) mouth. "I acknowledge blah, blah, blah." It was meant to establish rapport by validating the other person so you can sell them something or manipulate them in some way. People like being validated. Softens them up, so to speak.
My wife has shared some of the cards sent by her new friends and they contain phrases "don’t share with your husband he is not on the same level as us".
They are trying to drive a wedge between you and appeal to her ego or sense of superiority at the same time. They hope the end result is that you become alienated, fearful, and depressed and seek relief by joining the group.
Any time I suggest we seek professional help she becomes very defensive about her new friends.
Any ideas or thought would be greatly appreciated.................... HELP
She's probably been told that traditional therapy or counselling is useless, expensive, or counter-productive. These groups compete with ordinary counselling done by trained, licensed, and accountable professionals even though they claim not to be. It's a turf thing.
There's a ton of stuff to read. All LGATs are pretty much cookie-cutters of each other. And they all destroy lives, relationships, and minds. I suggest looking for others in your community who have been through the same thing. If they've been in business for any length of time there are probably plenty of victims around.
Best to you,