Notmuchforgames
Sorry to hear about your wife getting caught up in this. I have read on this forum that a lot of people did not push or argue with their spouses, tried to be supportive and had some success. I went a different direction and it seems to work for my situation.
I tried to show my wife information on how discovery was bad. She agreed that she would stop going if I could prove it. Of course the brainwashing had her coming up with bizarre justifications for the actions of the group. But I think it did help showing her similarities between Lifspring, landmark…. and Discovery.
We also set up some boundaries. I had a real problem with men calling, emailing, and encouraging her to attend more trainings. She agreed to not have direct contact, and if she was contacted she would copy me on any emails.
Discovery encourages people to develop emotional relationships outside of the marriage. One of the trainers sent a card to my wife telling her to not share anything with me because I was not on the same emotional level as her and I would not “get it”. We went to a marriage counselor and the counselor agreed she was essentially having an emotional affair. Evidently this is common with people who survive trauma as a group. They form intense emotional bonds. Mix this with the screwed up training at discovery and you get a lot of marriages failing.
I am still seeing my wife changing personalities in an instant. She now has an explosive anger, and thinks only about herself. It is almost like the alternate personality has no morals or social skills and is only about her. She tells me discovery has taught her to not be run over by everyone.
Its absolutely crazy how this group has hurt her and our marriage.

EC

EC- thanks for the reply. I have so many questions. I have recearched the tactics and where they came from. But I am lcking in real world experiance with trauma like this. How long has it been since your wife's first "class?" How many times did she go? I can see that ist goingto be a slow process for her to get past this. I feel your pain on the mood swings. I caught her listening to that damn cd yesterday. She seems to know she needs to run but she keeps looking back. She called Monday to have her name taken off the email list. I contacted the Discovery Admin office to tell them that she has enough support without the mind games and pseudo Psychology they provide. The lady in the office was almost too nice. I'm a Union Rep and I offered to get her a job at one of my Administration units in Arlington. She didnt take me up on it. ;) I think these people are going to be my new mission. Between my legal, business, and media contacts through the union I think i Can return some of the damage they have caused. Any suggestions?

Notmuchforgames
I called several DFW news stations, and a Texas magazine, but no one responded. Please call your contact. I think if the word gets out to the media maybe some people/marriages can be saved. Hopefully someone in a regulatory capacity will see it and discovery will be investigated and stopped.
I remember the first week after my wife went was the worst. She was a completely different person.

Did your wife have childhood trauma? I am not asking for details, but suspect those are the ones who suffer the greatest from the emotional and abuse class. That is a very good description of what happens to them. Why did your wife attend?



EC

Yes, there are issues with her childhood. I'm sure you catch my drift. Even though she shared the most intamate details of our life, Im not trying to air hers or my dirty laundry. I think to be "sponsored" you have to have a certain level of vuenarability. I dont think i qualified. I'm actually a Labor Rep so i have used some of the less invasive tactics myself on Management while in negotiations. I guess to me its second nature- using voice tone, crossing arms, controling room temp(which really works) ect. How long has your wife been involved? is she still involved? Are there any other web sites that i might check out? I agree wth the more hands on approach. I saw the light come on when I cornered her with the Cult info. She has relapsed a little, initiating contact with a couple of the abusees she went to class with. I caught her listening to her CD again yesterday. She is convinced that those people really care about her. I made a couple of calls and thought they got my point. But then her boss told her that i threatened someones kid. I feel bad for these desperate souls and their families- ESPECIALLY the kids. That was weak. But she doesnt know who to believe. After 7 years my word is in question. I might need to back off, but when i do they will be there to pick up the slack. I'm in wichita falls, are you down in dallas? Maby we could take the wives out to dinner or something. Just a thought.
ps- im running without a spell check, so dont think im illiterate. Just busy!

I was referred to this site by the husband of a woman whom I attended my first discovery meeting with this last week. I had one instance of contact with her in which I sent her a text message saying "I hope things are going well". This contact with her prompted her husband to call me and threaten me and my family with physical violence, all the while referencing this web-site and this forum. I subsequently called the police and submitted a report regarding the conversation as well as a voice-mail and e-mail that he sent me with additional threats. I would not be suprised if one of you aren't that same disturbed individual, but I thought I would check this site out to see if it was credible.

Rick-Ross has no articles claiming Discovery to be a cult, only a couple of people on a forum who are disturbed that their loved ones now have standards for how they want to be treated. Discovery is a 501c3 Non-profit organization which offers people an opportunity to let go of personal baggage, if you know a way of doing that without "dredging up" the events that caused it, then maybe you should be a therapist. Most people can go to these types of events and find some peace, but then go right back home to a bad environment or to a relationship with a person who is abusive. Any time a person is stands up to someone who is used to controlling and walking over them, there is usually conflict.

I don't know if you really care about your spouses or if you are controlling and abusive husbands who are upset that your personal punching bag now has boundaries for your aggression. I do know that any guy who calls and threatens my family, and then comes to this site pretending that he has some kind of moral standards is probably more of a threat to his family than a weekend seminar could ever be. Who are the dangerous people in this scenario, not the people who attended Discovery.

If someone doesn't want me calling their wife, fine I understand that (a little insecure maybe) but I get it. A simple man to man, "Stop" would have been sufficient and agreed to with apologies. But when their reaction is to threaten to come into my home and hurt my family. WOW...talk about psychotic behavior. I pray for the poor foolish soul who would ever come to my home looking to deal out misery to my family, what a great assumption on their part it would be to think that I would take that threat lightly.

Oh and notmuch4games, you are a union rep...you pay dues to be a part of this group...you tried to recruit someone into your group...you are contacting people in that group for help with a common "mission"...I bet you even have a mission statement or something...God help us all it must be a cult... Gimme a break.

The tax exempt status that you speak of doesnt take into account the very high salaries af the folks at the top of the pyramid. Discovery makes over 150 K per weekend and THERE IS NOT ONE SINGLE LISCENSED PSYCOLOGIST, PSYCHIATRIST, OR ANYTHING CLOSE IN THE WHOLE BUILDING. It is dangerous and cruel to tear open these peoples minds and basically hope for good results and that no one freaks out and kills someone or themself. I know af at least one case in which a young man went up to his room and shot himsesf after being broken in front of 100 strangers. Not one of them with a degree, of course. Also my investigation leads me to believe that D will lose its tax exempt status next year when the do not file for the third year in a row. They are just under the radar so far. The IRS will catch up with those crooks.
I dont recall threatening anyone, which makes me wonder if you are for real. If you really did attend the Discovery class then the poor souls i am sorry for are your family. Have any of them realized that the lights are on but no ones home? You should really consider your position. If an angry husband chewed you out, mabey he just wanted you to back off his wife. I know when my wife told D to leave her alone, thats when the mind games REALLY started. Try telling one of the leaders you are backing off for a little bit. Thats when the real control starts. They will use all the things you told them about yourself to make you feel unsure and unsafe. My wifes boss fired her because she left the group. THAT NUT IS STILL CALLING WANTING TO 'RESOLVE' HER FEELINGS. Thats crap! When someone tells you to leave them alone and you persist because you havent made your point, thats harrasment- and when that person knows every detail of your personal issues and implies that EVERYONE will know you are breaking the contract you signed (under inhumane deress) thats mind control by people with small minds. This is standard operations for most LGAT. that is a term you should google. Your group is under the radar for now( we're working on that) however they use the same mind games as any other LGAT. These tactics have worked on folks since the 60's. They are just recently making a comeback. Some of us still remember Erhard Werner(another name you should google) and that school of thought. There are no good ideas left, so the people who are scared to work for a livin have revived this oldie but goodie. Get yourself out, while your family is still there for you.
The Union is a group of working people who band against big buisiness for common goals( goals they came into the union with) The union tries to make the playing fieled epual for every working man and woman. there are no hidden agendas, and there are NO SECRETS, because we are not ashamed of what we do. We, sir, are strong, proud, and united.

Hey Otts,
What would you do if men were contacting your wife and encouraging her to do something they KNOW is causing problems in your relationship? What would you do if these men were having an emotional affair with your wife? Let me get this straight, you can you justify discovery people causing problems as the spouses being insecure. Wow that sounds rational to me! Discovery is promoting behavior that is contrary to what most people would consider good for a marriage.

Looks like you would take a threat to your family seriously from your post. It appears notsomuch may been more direct than discovery is but discovery is threatening peoples lives.

This is not a new tactic. LGATS and cults try to drive a wedge between the spouses to the point they will give in and join or leave so the new recruit can devote more time to the group. Tell me that discovery is not doing this. Of the couples in my wifes group where the spouse did not attend 15% or so are having trouble, and some divorces.

It is not up to you or some discovery dumbass to offer counseling to someone who doesn’t want it. That is harassment, and could be construed as practicing medicine without a license (on behalf of discovery).

What is discovery’s justification (to the IRS) for the 501c3 status? I bet they claim to be a ministry. That might surprise a lot of people.

Maybe Mr. Ross should add a section for Discovery-Training, it certainly fits the description of a cult.


EC

notmuch4games, check your private messages

EC

A single text message saying "I hope things are going well" or an e-mail saying "Im praying for you" is hardly psychological warfare, mind control, or an emotional affair. I say the same things to the men that I attended the class with, I say the same things to people in every day conversation, I would say the same things to you if I knew you...its called courteous small talk.

EC I hope that you are not an actual cop if you are promoting the act of terrorist threats to an individual and his family. If an individual was behaving inappropriately with your wife, then you have legit beef, but that is hardly the doing of discovery. I went and I know the difference between offering a kind word, and deep emotional contact, there are losers who attend discovery just like there are anywhere, you have to be cautious. If I caught my wife in the same situation I would realize that I could not control her, I would communicate with her my concern and work on a solution. She should be the one to break the contact, not you being overbearing and doing it for her without her consent. 15% of the marriages have problems, wow welcome tothe real world. Most marriages have problems, a lot of people go to discovery because they are in an abusive relationship, if discovery helps them to resolve or discontinue those relationships, then more power to them.

No one is offering counseling to someone who doesn't want it, we are offering advice and encouragment to people who ASK for it. People only get a respomse if they communicate a need for advice or encouragement. So if a guy I met at discovery is an alcoholic who is already attending AA, and he calls me saying he wants a drink, I dont encourage him to stay strong? I put him on hold and go find a liscenced counselor. You dont advise your family and freinds when they need it. You ignore them until you go to college and get a psychology degree?

The "contract" she signed was not unlike the one I signed. It is a short description of your own self worth as you see it. Mine is "I am a worthy and loved man"... maybe a lottle hokey, but hardly dangerous. We also make commitments to a person who is our "buddy" , mine were this: i will spend more time with my family, I will play with my son more, I will take more time to be in nature. Hardly financial or binding commitments to discovery or any of its founders.

I will not post again because, quite frankly, your minds are already made up. Discovery defies the definition of what a cult is. Discovery has no agenda that it expresses to any member. No one from discovery, other than the people I met who attended the class, have had any contact with me. Discovery claims no one religion or political stance. Discovery is the farthest thing from a cult that there is, you just need a scapegoat and discovery is it.

otts- A single text message is one thing, but when a LADY asks you to send no more messages and goes through the trouble to have yours and your groups names removed from her email(and you have been told this) any further contact constitutes harrasment.
Wrap your warped mind around this- If i follow you and harras you every day for two weeks and finally one day i walk up to you and say "hows your life going?" It wouldnt seem like much, would it? The lights are on but no ones home as i stated in the last post.
You are flat out lying about not being in contact with any Discovery persons not in your group. You were basically "Discovery family" before going to the abuse class, and you lied to them about what the jist of our conversation was. Do you even know what a man is, let alone what a man to man talk sounds like?- You claim to have been open to a man to man talk. BE A MAN!
You are right on one thing, you are indeed not a counseler. If this is your lifes desire go to school. And in the mean time you should practice on your own wife.
Just wanted to set the record straight for anyone out there with questions about Discovery in Dallas> DISCOVERY IS A CULT STYLE ORGANIZATION. From the way they isolate its members, to the mind games, to the mental and physical conditioning(or abuse), to the way they ask you to accept THEIR values and to ditch the values and people that have gotten you to this pathetic point in your life. Any one out there should ask themselves if upending your life, friends, and values are worth a three day smoke and mirrors exercise in deprivation and abuse.
Keep spotting those losers OTTS, but avoid any mirrors!