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lifeisafunnything
Thanks Nicole...I do try to get encouraged to go again, but I feel like I'm not there yet. I just don't want to anymore. Life is great though. I have a lot more peace, a lot more fun, and can finally be honest about myself without fear of what people think. It's wierd, because everything else in my life has come together since leaving RLC, but my hope for a life with God has dwindled.

You said it… that’s called freedom…. And you might just find that God lives right there with you… my life became exponentially better after I left RLC in every way… seriously it was weird… but I was still confused… I finally just started telling God “I don’t know what’s right and what wrong im just gonna live and if your gonna talk to me about it make it loud, cuase I have a hard time hearing”. And like you I have so much more peace and I am happy… I am totally honest with myself about who I am and where I am at... I trust that I am just doing what I need to be doing and I feel like God is just ok with me.

funny thing is RLC told me I would find freedom there... could not be further from the truth....

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Ring barer

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lifeisafunnything
Thanks Nicole...I do try to get encouraged to go again, but I feel like I'm not there yet. I just don't want to anymore. Life is great though. I have a lot more peace, a lot more fun, and can finally be honest about myself without fear of what people think. It's wierd, because everything else in my life has come together since leaving RLC, but my hope for a life with God has dwindled.

You said it… that’s called freedom…. And you might just find that God lives right there with you… my life became exponentially better after I left RLC in every way… seriously it was weird… but I was still confused… I finally just started telling God “I don’t know what’s right and what wrong im just gonna live and if your gonna talk to me about it make it loud, cuase I have a hard time hearing”. And like you I have so much more peace and I am happy… I am totally honest with myself about who I am and where I am at... I trust that I am just doing what I need to be doing and I feel like God is just ok with me.

funny thing is RLC told me I would find freedom there... could not be further from the truth....

I agree with you all about freedom. Where the spirit of the Lord is there is freedom!!!! That's why I took on the name 'free2bme'. There is a freedom I have not felt before. It has been a long road and a road I am still traveling. But I know I am on the right path now and I feel good about it.

Ring dude...I totally feel you. All my friends feel the same way too. WAY BETTER ON THE OTHER SIDE. Which just makes me laugh, because of all the people I've invited and brought to things like the "Better Than Life" "Crusade". I thought that we were "it", living the best possible life imagineable. Funny how things change. We should have a "Better Than Life" crusade of our own and invite all the "destructive" past RLCers like the Millars, Kevin Reta, the Box's and Petrali's, the Silva's, Davis's, Jacob, Bill, the Bianchini's, and we'll even have Petri on the mic... the whole "jacked up" bunch of us. And we should have it in the parking lot across the street from the church, with big signs. We'll have a play, some pop-up tents, bounce houses for the kids. We can leave flyers on all the cars that go to RLC. That would be a hoot, wouldn't it.

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Ring barer

funny thing is RLC told me I would find freedom there... could not be further from the truth....

Amen to that...Seriously, freedom is what I felt when I left to.. After I talked to John Lee, my only accountable leadership at the time of my departure, I thought I would feel this sinking scary feeling of " what did I just do???" But I didn't. I was FREE!!! It was possible the weirdest, most exciting thing ever! A couple months later I was cleaning out my closet and came across old prayer journels, with prayers and sermon notes in them. I read through them all and decided that some of the stuff was great and they were from good times but the latter 1/2 of them were from bad times. I threw them all out. It was like some weird ritualistic "cleansing". What it really was, was a symbolic gesture of starting new. A fresh start. I have started over. I love where I am at now. I actually get to love people and be loved by people. It is WONDERFUL!!! God is just as good today as He was yesterday...only today I see it.

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lifeisafunnything
Ring dude...I totally feel you. All my friends feel the same way too. WAY BETTER ON THE OTHER SIDE. Which just makes me laugh, because of all the people I've invited and brought to things like the "Better Than Life" "Crusade". I thought that we were "it", living the best possible life imagineable. Funny how things change. We should have a "Better Than Life" crusade of our own and invite all the "destructive" past RLCers like the Millars, Kevin Reta, the Box's and Petrali's, the Silva's, Davis's, Jacob, Bill, the Bianchini's, and we'll even have Petri on the mic... the whole "jacked up" bunch of us. And we should have it in the parking lot across the street from the church, with big signs. We'll have a play, some pop-up tents, bounce houses for the kids. We can leave flyers on all the cars that go to RLC. That would be a hoot, wouldn't it.

Hey the whole Bianchini clan has the heart for worship and musical ability, we will lead worship....
I will speak for myself when I say this: I know I am not a "great" in the musical ability area. But we are a small group we gotta start somewhere!

As much fun as an event sounds, I am not sure it would be beneficial...Fun idea though.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/08/2008 04:43AM by Escapee07.

Hang in there lifeisaveryfunnything..............I got the same treatment when I started speaking out. I got hammerred with the whole demons stuff. I identify totally with your testimony. You are not alone. Also, in one of the posts some names where mentioned about having our own event. There are many more people than you mentioned including DejaVu and RingBarer and. Including all of the people on this forum. Every church I have visited since leaving RLC I have seen several people. Anyways, I will attend when this event occurs, LOL. Whatever happenned to saving the lost sheep? It seems that if all the sheep are orange and it's the purple one that gets away then nobody cares.

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Escapee07

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lifeisafunnything
Ring dude...I totally feel you. All my friends feel the same way too. WAY BETTER ON THE OTHER SIDE. Which just makes me laugh, because of all the people I've invited and brought to things like the "Better Than Life" "Crusade". I thought that we were "it", living the best possible life imagineable. Funny how things change. We should have a "Better Than Life" crusade of our own and invite all the "destructive" past RLCers like the Millars, Kevin Reta, the Box's and Petrali's, the Silva's, Davis's, Jacob, Bill, the Bianchini's, and we'll even have Petri on the mic... the whole "jacked up" bunch of us. And we should have it in the parking lot across the street from the church, with big signs. We'll have a play, some pop-up tents, bounce houses for the kids. We can leave flyers on all the cars that go to RLC. That would be a hoot, wouldn't it.

Hey the whole Bianchini clan has the heart for worship and musical ability, we will lead worship....
I will speak for myself when I say this: I know I am not a "great" in the musical ability area. But we are a small group we gotta start somewhere!

As much fun as an event sounds, I am not sure it would be beneficial...Fun idea though.

Okay I am changing my tune a little. I think that a get together with all the RLC "rejects" would be an interesting time, a good time and a very healing and beneficial time. I think that holding event across the street from the church part of it freaked me out. I don't even want to go near there again. I had to go back 2 times since I left and each time I dreaded it.

I was just thinking about something that happen to me:
I was in a circle talking with an Elder and some worship team people, we were all kinda joking around or talking about something light hearted and someone made a flippant generalization about men. I laughed and said something like not all men are like that ( this part is all kinda fuzzy)
But the part of this conversation sticks out clear: The Elder said seriously: Yes all men can be like that. But on the flip side all women can be b*tches too.

I don't know how the rest might feel about a comment like that ( however true it may or may not be) I think it was highly inappropriate for an Elder of the church to say at all, but especially to a group of women.

It was just a memory I had. Thought I would share.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/08/2008 06:16AM by Escapee07.

I was being a little sarcastic about how I feel about wanting to show them up a little. Mostly joking though.

If I have not already said so I wanted to welcome all the newer people to the forum. I hope that you can come to this forum and find peace in your situation. I have found that discussing my experiences with people, who have had similar experiences there, is really freeing. It is almost like validation that I heard from the Lord and those red flags that kept flying up all around me were from him.
It is really easy to become angry, I was for a long time, even while attending. My last 2 years there, there were times I would get so angry that I would feel the effects of it on my health. There was literally times when I would want to put someone's head through a wall. Of course I didn't. Even today it is really easy to let my anger get the better of me, it is something that I am still learning to give to God.

I just want to say again, that once you break free life is so very good. In this instance the grass really is greener.

To those who are still at RLC and feel stuck or like you don't think life could be better if you left...I assure you that it is and that I felt the same way. I had stated in earlier posts about how I felt that if I left I wasn't sure I could find a place that was spiritual enough. I was misled. It is good to be free. There are churches out there and opportunities to serve in a capacity that is suited to the call GOD has placed on your life...

God bless you with Hope and Peace for the future,
Nicole