It seems almost sureal every time I read on the fourm, this is actually happening. I remember calling people from RLC to see if what was happening their was actually real. Sure enough hearing that was breath-taking. I remember being in leadership thinking about TPC and the things that I had disagreed with. I remember feeling betrayed many times as i would try to confront leadership with questions only to be asked to have faith or even worse lying to my face. I knew what they were doing was manipulation, but thought they meant well. I tried and hoped for the best the whole time, often driving me to think that i was the crazy one. I had found myself sinning in secert and soon found out that i was not alone. Many leaders were sinning and when they were exposed or confessed they were shunned. I remember lots of people who one day never to be seen again, I now know it was because you were shamed for sinning. I once heard Jeff K tell me that the Bible said that God expects us not to sin. I guess God expects us to give our best effort, but why would he send Jesus down if he expects sinless perfect people.

This doctrine was taught on a few times from when i heard it. I remember my discipler teaching it to me too. I disagreed with him, but he was ok with that. He had a heathly view on things for the most part. It is hard thinking about God. Anything and everything associated with God I associate with TPC and frankly thinking about TPC makes me sick. Therfor I have a very hard time thinking about God. Hopfully I will learn to distance the two and seperate the experience from my opinion of God, unfortunatly right now i am not there yet.

Another thing I would like to address is the rumor among TPC that "I" along with all other ppl who have left TPC are diviseive. I have talked to a friend of mine who funny was talking to some TP ppl who like to gossip and then point the finger at me (not that I think I am gossiping, and even if I were does my gossip un-validate the truth?). Hear is just a little taste of what I am going through, and i fear many of you TPC'ers who leave will experience a very similar story.

Here is my testimony from leaving.


Now that I have left I have embarked on a rollercoaster with my relationship with Jesus. Now that I know that my relationship with Jesus for the most part was based out of the praise of the leadership. I had gone another direction that leaves Jesus out of the equation. It is hard because knowing that people whom I trusted lied to me in such a matter can only look me in the eye to lie about it once again when i call them out. So I left not knowing much more than what I thought I knew was a lie. So i threw out everything. I threw out doctrine, I threw out relationship with Jesus (for a while) I threw out anything that made me rightious, I threw out control, and I have to admit I threw out friends just as much as they ditched me, I ditched them because seeing them made me think of TPC and the sick feeling I got every time I think about it. There talk about Pastor Mike and honor made me sick everytime I heard it. I turned to alcohol and not because it made me feel good (because it did and does make me do that) but because TPC hates it. I turned to swearing for the same reasons. I turned to lust for the same reasons. It all made me not have to deal with the sistuation at hand. TPC turns to name calling, gossiping, and manipulation. So they may look the part but they are no less guilty as I am of sin.

I am now in a place where I am trying to think about what I want my life to look like in a few years. Do I want my children to go to church, do i want to go to church, do I want them to experience anything like i did? Do I think it is likely that if they did go to church they would have another experience like that last one I had...yes i am. I dislike commenting to a church because the emotional and time commitment it takes. I don't think a building is nessisary for church, but i know i don't grow as much with it.

I am spining in circles and have been for months. I hope I come out of this whirll pool.
K Conner F



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 09/02/2009 06:08PM by Forgiveness_101.

Conner,
my heart breaks for you. Remember that day at lunch we all talked of disconnect because we look to man vs. God alone.. Don't let go of God because you view man as a sham, as your are learning the hard lesson of man failing you. Look to those who are rare but that you can be transparent with because we all have sin. Our family loves you and we are here for you whatever you need. It's always darkest before the dawn. Jello nose rings and all (inside joke) you know:)

It truly bothers me when I see the pain, confusion, and distruction TP and their STEPFORD Christianity has left in its wake. While reading FB I found a TPer commenting to a person that goes to my new church, I was enraged. Their pat little tooty good shoes remark made me want to call them up and YELL, SCREAM for them to GET OUT and see the real world. God has a plan and it is not always peachy and going to be all so-o-o wonderful and glorious. Joseph sat in a prison cell wasn't that so wonderful. Let's ask the folks who endured Hitler's camps how wonderful their daily lives were while under the commander's rule. This world is falling apart and guess what God knew it would, read Revelations. TPers have their heads in the sand to the LEGALISM they live by which ONLY applies to them as they see fit.

Yes, we all are torn between the LOVE God commands of us and HATING the sin. Sorting out mentally to Hate the sin not the sinner has been a tough one for me.

I left TP because I don't want to hear anything the leaders or Mike has to say, and I really dislike hearing the sugary, TP speech of speaking ONLY positive, honoring the TP GURU Mike.

I feel so much better now that I have vented. D of D is correct God is still in control and only He knows the course this whole TP thing is going, TP Guru Mike and his plan to rule his little world, at any cost. Having had said that, we need to keep praying God will have His way and NO ONE else will be damaged or distroyed, and the TRUE word of God will glow so brightly there is no way HE can be denied or twisted out of perspective.

This must be my week to use quotes to express concepts and ideas. I am going to respond to Conner with a couple of quotes. I am going to begin with:

"The real problem is in the hearts and minds of men. It is not a problem of physics but of ethics. It is easier to denature plutonium than to denature the evil from the spirit of man." -
-- Albert Einstein

And while it is impossible to separate sin from the nature of man, it is also impossible for God not to be everything we humans will never be. That is all things good and true. Do not fall for this ploy by the enemy to separate you from Jesus. This is the time to draw closer. When I went through some difficult times there were many times I turned to God and said I am tired and stressed I just want to crawl up on your lap like a child would crawl up in a loving parents lap and feel your loving arms and hear you tell me everything will be okay – and everything did turn out okay and it was because I took my most basic need to the throne. The Lord turned my trial into triumph and completely vindicated me in a very telling way.

Do not equate TPC with the love our heavenly Father has for us. You have a personal relationship with Jesus. He died to give you the right to take your problems and concerns to our Father in Heaven, do not let TPC deny you of that gift and right. Mike Villamor and Jeff Barnes are mere mortal men who are every bit as human and sinful as every other human being on this planet. They are blinded by a Jezebel Spirit who has moved into the Sanctuary at TPC with no intention of leaving until she has destroyed everything that it took ten years to build up. We can only pray Mike and the
Elders to wake up before it is too late. No one wants to see one more person disillusioned or fall away. So focus your anger on the real villain in this drama – the Enemy.

Go to the Lord tell him you are tired and disillusioned and you need him to help you find your way out of the fog. He will lead you by the hand back to the path he has prepared just for your walk with him.

As for the pain that has been caused by Mike using his pulpit to try and turn those we had to leave behind against us and divide us from our friends and family members I want you and anyone else who reads this post to think about and ponder this quote by another very human man who was a truly awesome President:

"We are not afraid to entrust the American people with unpleasant facts, foreign ideas, alien philosophies, and competitive values. For a nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people." -
-- John F. Kennedy

So let’s take this quote, rephrase this just a little so that it fits our issue and see what we get:

God is not afraid to entrust his children with unpleasant facts, foreign ideas, and the ability to use discernment to look at alien points of view on topics such as church doctrine and God's Word. But a church that is afraid to let its members judge and discern the truth and falsehood of church doctrine and God’s Word in an open forum is afraid of its members.

Go to God, talk to him like you would your best friend with your Bible and heart open to hear his reply to your problems and receive his comfort in this difficult situation. He will plant you in a new church home where you will flourish and thrive. He is the ultimate shepherd, let him lead you.

Daughter of Dorcas



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 09/03/2009 12:34PM by Daughter of Dorcas.

Dear Conner,

My heart feels for you at this time. I know how hard it is for you. I lost a long time friend at TP and even Jackie said that some people she saw recently were not so friendly to her. It hurts and at the same time it seems so sinister that people who you thought of as "brothers" and "sisters" in Christ now do not talk to you in the same manner that they used to. Give yourself "time" to heal. God is faithful. He will not leave you or forsake you. I am praying that you will overcome this, even as hard as it is--show your "friends" that are still a part of the TP system that God is elsewhere and that God exists away from Tp and that the best thing you ever did was to leave TP. You are a survivor of TP and you will make it!! There are those of us who are fellow survivors with you--hang in there!!

Sincerely WW



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/03/2009 02:27PM by Wounded Warrior.

connor I love you even though I was mad at you you know I repented to you. I know now that not all churchs are like tp I realize now that I picked my pastor by how funny he was from the pulpit, how charismatic he was how great a personalty he seemed to have from the pulpit. how interesting he wss.. Now I realize I need to see how he reflects the fruit of the spirit. and there and many more pastors who really seek to be right with God more then be successful and poplular, and rich. now I look for humility, transparency, and honesty. I dont need a superpastor just a Godly one. I knew a long time ago mike was a control freak. insecure, and somewhat mean. I just thought of it as little mans syndrome. but now I realize its a lack of fruit of the spirit. and by the way some of his followers act I see they reflect their leader. What ever it is conner dont take it personal, and dont hurt yourself because some sick people hurt you.

Dear Connor,

Thank you for writing so well what so many are going through.

I went through an abusive church experience at your age but I was blessed to have a healthy church grounding before that.

Still I reeled much the way you have. I have heard from others who are facing the same challenge.

You expressed so powerfully the problem of extricating Jesus from all the other garbage.

I hold my breath for you and many others as they have to climb through all of this. There is a real Jesus. And despite all the garbage I think he has touched your life.

I have two thoughts that are from my personal experience, one seek out those you know who you believe have a genuine experience with Christ. I hope you know at least a few. Ask is there Jesus after TP? If you feel safe ask them to pray with you and for you. It is almost a birthing experience just as Paul described in Galatians.

Second find a Pastor you can trust. By the grace of God Janice and I ran into a guy we knew right before we moved up to Mt Vernon.
He recommended a pastor and a church.

His name is Tom Howard, this was back in 1981. The church was an old line Pentecostal Assemblies of God. The contrast was stunning.

We had come from a church with a cutting edge worship choir, original music, some world class musicians, the pastors were young power driven dress for success.

Then we came to Tom's church, he was bald, wore ridiculous plaid suites, the music would be considered torture.

But he was just what I needed, he had been a Christian for over 40 years a minister for over 30 or so. He had 5 children who were grown and obviously loved their parents and each other. The children were our age and I was so impressed I made an appointment to talk to him about how to raise kids.

In short, Tom failed at everything the mega-church superstar, power pastor's would say is the cornerstone of their successes, but he had Jesus. It was obvious and compared to that everything else is crap.

The church and people you need to connect with might not fit your expectations externally, But then neither did Jesus.

Marty

Thank you Marty!! :-) That was a truly awesome post!

Terry

Marty,
Thank you once again for sharing your from your heart. God is revealed in the most unlikely places. I knew a man who was full of wisdom but he would sit in the back of the church where he attended. By his appearance he seem to possible be homeless. If you had the chance to talk to him, you would see that this man was a true believer that was blessed with great wisdom. He helped countless people by counseling them and by being available to anybody who needed help.

WW