And why do they now need a 3-week vacation after a 4-month paid sabbatical? It's not right, moral or ethical.

When we want others to see and come out

One difficult aftermath of spiritual abuse is knowing friends or family are still inside the abusive group, that they can't see, or can't fully see the problem. We want them to know what we've learned about manipulation, mind-control, pressure. And yet, we know that since we are the sinful outcasts or exiles, they would never listen to us. To read more click on the link------> [pureprovender.blogspot.com]

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WonderingNow
And why do they now need a 3-week vacation after a 4-month paid sabbatical? It's not right, moral or ethical.

You are kidding me right? If you were not asked to give up your paid vacation in exchange for a four month paid sabbatical, would you? Be honest, the answer is no. Neither would I or anyone else I know.

However, the elders are not stupid people and if they did not make that a stipulation of the Villamor's continuing their salary during the sabbatical then this is on the elders and not an M&C issue.

It does show that the elders care more about catering to M&C than they care about what their congregation or anyone else thinks.

Saddened

I am curious. I just finished reading an article on intimidation tactics used by spiritually abusive pastors and churches. It got me to wondering. What sort of intimidation tactics have you experienced first hand? It may have been by any of the pastors or staff or even deacons/elders of TPcWOC.

How have they sought to intimidate you into submission and silence? Has it been with threats of lawsuits, hints of meeting with lawyers, using your past "confessions"against you (breach of confidentiality laws come in to play if they are using this one on you)? Threatening to cut you off from friends and family still at the church?

The goal of intimidation is not restoration but silence. The desire is to make the criticism and questions go away. Have they been successful in intimidating you?

Have you experienced any intimidation at all? Share your story.

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WonderingNow
And why do they now need a 3-week vacation after a 4-month paid sabbatical? It's not right, moral or ethical.

I was thinking the same thing.

1. The Scripture- "Don't touch God's anointed" (my paraphrase) was used over and over again to assert my ex-pastor's authority to do anything she wished.

Do you think the scripture is actually giving pastors carte blanche?

To read the answer to this and other relevant questions click on the link: [outofthesilverchair.blogspot.com]

While I am aware of some who experienced abusive actions from staff, elders, and deacons, I was not among them. I was fortunate. Does that mean that I was not aware that abuse occurred -- of course I was aware. But I never heard anyone talk about overt intimidation being used.

I had no intentions of posting here again but something was said to me about the response by TPC to the group that M&M led. I would say that it helped me a lot and brought me to a place where I could walk away from my relationship to TPC and my relationship with its members - a place where conflict and ill will no longer could flourish. Does that mean that I ever want to have a relationship with anyone in leadership or on staff at TPC? It does not. Honest repentance must occur before that could ever be considered. God has shown me that I can forgive without putting myself back into a situation where an abuser gets a second chance to do the same thing. If TPC Leadership took issue with that group, Marty was right; they should have approached him and asked him about the group.

No one can argue with:

Jeff VanVonderen in the Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse said "Spiritual abuse occurs when someone is treated in a way that damages them spiritually. As a deeper result, their relationship with God – or that part of them that is capable of having a relationship with God – becomes wounded or scarred. Likewise, those in spiritual positions of authority can violate our trust. It’s possible to become so determined to defend a spiritual place of authority, a doctrine or a way of doing things that you wound and abuse anyone who questions, or disagrees, or doesn’t “behave” spiritually the way you want them to. When your words and actions tear down another, or attack or weaken a person’s standing as a Christian – to gratify you, your position or your beliefs while at the same time weakening or harming another – that is spiritual abuse."

It is my observation that this kind of abuse occurred at TPC. It is my testimony that Marty's group restored and supported my ability to heal and go on to a much better relationship with God than I ever experienced at TPC. It is also my testimony that life is good post-TPC. So what if Mike and Cindy get extra paid vacation, their vacation does not help your or my relationship with God - so it does not matter!

Daughter of Dorcas

Thanks for the insightful post, D of D.

And just to add to your quote:

Spiritual abuse occurs when someone in a position of spiritual authority, the purpose of which is to ‘come underneath’ and serve, build, equip and make God’s people MORE free, misuses that authority placing themselves over God’s people to control, coerce or manipulate them for seemingly Godly purposes which are really their own.

-Jeff VanVonderen-



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/22/2009 01:22PM by TurningPointReject.

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WonderingNow
And why do they now need a 3-week vacation after a 4-month paid sabbatical? It's not right, moral or ethical.

It is emotionally draining when your whole existence is based upon swindling people out of their money and coercing people to do something against his or her will by using force, threats and manipulation of the bible. When a church existence is all about the pastor and the personality of the pastor and the focus is not Jesus then you are sitting in the wrong church.
You know telling a lie and keeping it going really is emotionally draining. They need to get way and spend some quiet time with their demons kind of recharge. Mean while Jeff & Kim Barns will keep on towing the party line covering up and doing damage control.

But then again their dear leader Tony Cunningham just got a new Mercedes after selling the Radiant Life church property. A transaction that never came to the attention of the congregation nor did this transaction ever come to a vote by the congregation. Radiant Life is an executive led group in other words it is being run like a corporation looking at their profit margin first, not running a church. The leaders of this group are egotistical arrogant self serving jerks.
It is unclear how they are trying to spin this but it looks like the new church (SSCC)might take over what is left of Radiant Life then again they could try and co-habitat the same facilities. But the problem with that scenario is SSCC will realize that Tony’s motive is to manipulate. Then again the existing church could change there name and go back to meeting a school.

It may not matter personally what spiritually abusive group leaders do financially, but it does matter in a larger sense. Any time you can confront, call to account or reveal the true nature of those weakening or perverting truth, it helps others.