Re: Ole Nydahl and Diamond Way Buddhism
Date: January 08, 2010 12:01AM
I have some experience with DWB, I am not a member by any means but I have a family member who is. My family member is a good guy, intelligent, great sense of humor, very involved in his own life outside of the DW. He doesn't seem like the type of guy who would belong to a cult and doesn't seem fanatical about Mr Nydahl. I suppose he could be the type of person to keep these feelings to himself. Anyway, I did see this fanatical behavior displayed by others.
I attended a New Year's Course with my family member, a gift from my parents who wanted me to experience Europe. I had a great time. We met a lot of people, who all seemed very nice, friendly and ready to party. I noticed that most of the people around me were young and single, although their were families and some older people. I myself have children, so I was interested in talking to a couple of the other women there who also had families. They all received me with kindness, especially after confirming I was not, in fact, my family member's scandalous young girlfriend, but a young mother who was simply interested in seeing the world and learning about them.
I was a bit perturbed by the fact that I had to pay to listen to the lectures by Tomek, Ole, Hannah and the others. It seemed to rub against the grain of what I had previously learned about Buddhism outside of the DW. But, hey, I thought they probably needed the cash to pay for the whole shebang and my family member was willing to help me out with the cost. All in all, it was way cheaper than staying in a hotel and seeing Europe like a regular tourist. Food was included and they also had other goodies for sale, I remember condoms cost 1 euro.
The other thing I was bothered by was the table they had set up in the corner of the hall to have Ole "bless" objects. It seemed and still seems incredibly un-buddhist to need to have some guy, lama or no, bless your Buddha statue or dinner plate or bit of cloth or whatever. It seemed to be a signature of a needy group of people. To me, anything that smacks of the dogmatic trappings of a religion makes me want to run in the other direction. I don't feel I need objects to get in touch with my god, my spirituality or whatever.
I visited four centers in Europe, and all of the people I met were very chill. The first center seemed in a state of constant Party. We drank a good amount of alcohol and went barhopping several nights. The second center, we went for a lecture by a traveling teacher and I was so jet lagged and hungover that they fed me and let me sleep in someone's bed. The third center seemed less like a party center and more like a place for Buddhists to stay and meditate and even retreat. The people were still friendly, but seemed more reserved, and for lack of a better word, proper. The fourth center we visited was out in the country and I thought it was the most beautiful one, although they were all nice. I liked the fourth center's atmosphere of being family orientated. The people there seemed like they all worked together. Their gompa was beautiful but I didn't understand their Mahakala protection room which was off to one side. They had devoted it to the protection of them and their center and I felt like I was missing something as to why they felt it was necessary to store weapons in there. Nothing serious, just an old rifle and a knife or two. Perhaps I just don't know enough about that, but they seemed a bit confused.
At the New Years Course itself, I met Ole and Hannah. I took refuge and was blessed by Ole and given a new name. I never was actually called by this name, nor did I feel like it was supposed to replace my identity. Again, it seemed more to be part of a ritual and dogma. Nobody seemed to put much stock in it, though. I never felt pressured to give the group money. They held a fundraiser during the Course for the Europe Center. It was a fun event that seemed no different from other fundraisers I'd been to. I bought some small goodies to bring home to my family.
I listened to Ole and was kind of interested, kind of bored, he led the karmapa meditation, and then took questions. There was a thousand people there or so and he patiently answered all of their questions. He took a break after and happened to walk by me and stopped and bent down to touch my head and said something along the lines that I was special. I got the vibe from him that he was a typical guy paying me attention because he thought I was attractive, and from the reaction of the people I was with, that seemed to be the case. It all seemed like a relaxed funny joke. Ole likes the ladies, ha ha, of course he likes you, you're cute!
At the New Years party, we all drank and danced and partied and even Ole body surfed.
After Midnight, some people I was hanging out with (not my family member) wanted to go to the airport and see Ole and Hannah off. I tagged along and was surprised by the crowd that gathered there. People kept coming up to us and asking us if there was some celebrity about and then they would look at us strangely when it was explained that it was the Lama. Ole came through, thanked us all, blessed us all, spent some extra time touching my head and was on his merry way.
It was over all a good experience I had in Europe and I have thought that I would hit up the centers as an alternative to hotels or hostels if I were to travel again. I had a bit of a romantic experience with a man I met, and although he had a girlfriend, they seemed to work it out between themselves and she was very sweet to me. I did feel awkward since it was not in my experience that open relationships work too well.
Back in the states, the only center I have visited is the one my family member belonged to. The people there are nice, they also like to party but I'm not sure the open relationship thing was working so well there. It isn't very close to my home so I don't really go there anymore as I am busy with my family and sincerely feel that their way of practicing isn't really what I am craving.
I also was put off by the fact that the meditation booklets cost money. I guess they have to cover printing costs ? I found that I could use them while I was in the gompa, but if I wanted to take one with me I had to fork over five bucks each. The only explanation I received was that the Lama didn't want people to get ahold of the meditations and use them the wrong way. I'm not sure how they could be used incorrectly...it's a step by step instructional booklet. I think they meant that it was important to them to have the Sangha and the Teacher to help you along your path.
I never felt pressured to 'join' or give money and nobody seemed to care if I stayed or left and nobody has come calling to harass me since I have not returned. Not even my family member, beyond the extent to give me some advice when I was depressed "Keep Meditating, woman".
I came across this site while trying to find info on the DW and get some outside views of Ole and the DW. If there have sincerely been these abuses as some have said, I am disturbed. I am not very comfortable with Ole taking advantage of his female followers, which I can see easily happening from my experience alone, although I do feel that one should enter into any religion with an open mind and not be a blind follower. I know this might be a stretch for some people...
I do wish that people who are making the accusations could provide more direct and specific accounts of cult behavior. I am not asking for specific proof of sexual abuse. I truly feel that needs to be addressed through a legal course, the police, and not through the internet. I am all for putting the word out there, though, about this happening so other girls can make an informed choice and feel comfortable in saying NO. No one should be put through that or even be put in the position of feeling pressured for sex, by anyone, anywhere, anytime. I am disappointed that a good majority of the links to proof on this forum didn't work for me, perhaps they are just old links and could be updated? I am truly interested in information and I am not in any way promoting this or any other group. I wanted to share my experience and hopefully receive in return the experiences of others and legitimate info on this group.