Quote
Gaja
Oh, no, is big progress right now. Yet some years ago I suffered like hell within. But I wasn't all good, and there was bad world outside, no no, I knew my insanity was taking over me. I use to deal with fear, or anger by giving often sarcastic or ironic comments, I thought this is smart, I had no idea, I was expressing pain. Sometimes I thought of my self, as being psychopath having potential for killing, because I use to experience hate, and I had fantasies about killing someone. Sometimes I was getting drank, and I was threatening to Krisnabai, on her facebook page - I hated her so much, I believed she had so much more kindness, and love, and care than I had. When I saw her, all well dressed up, with fancy hair cut, smiling, and protected by moo, while he was treating me really rough, I was like possessed by demon.
Well, now when I think of them I do not feel anything, they are rather strangers to me right now. And also now, I have a lot of kindness for myself and I'm grateful for being alive, and I see life to be amazing gift. And also I do not need fancy dresses and hair cuts or being loved by someone, to feel gratitude or feeling well in my own skin.


I haven't went to therapy, because I believe in my country - Poland there is no good specialists - maybe I'm wrong.

My therapy, was, walking through forest, and stopping mind during my walks.

I'm glad you're doing better, Gaja! Sounds like you made a lot of progress.

I think you'd be able to find a good psychologist/psychiatrist in Poland if you feel like therapy is something you want to try.

zizlz Wrote:
> I'm glad you're doing better, Gaja! Sounds like
> you made a lot of progress.
>
> I think you'd be able to find a good
> psychologist/psychiatrist in Poland if you feel
> like therapy is something you want to try.


I went to psychiatrist in hard time in my life, but doctor gave me pills, send home, all visit took 5 minutes, and cost much. I think in my country it may look like that.

What You said about your therapy sound interesting. After moo abuse at his satsang it would be very helpful if someone would assist me, because a lot of old traumas and pain was going through my system and I was in panic. And no one was there with me, to help me understand what is going on.

But today I do feel very well, only before period, for few days, there is a little emotional pain in my chest, but I am observing it, breathing into it, meditating around it. Now I'm glad I'm alive, living on the Earth is soo amazing. How could I be so blind to this whole mystery.
3 weeks ago I went for 1 week holiday, and this was the best. Like I was one with the sea, birds seems to fly so close and I was catching their every move in the now, they were so alive. Children on the street were greeting me, and smiling to me, or waving to me, also dogs were coming to me with sticks in their mouth so I could throw them. I literally felt like life loves me.

I dont know if this will help. For me the deepest healing came when I found out what it was like to be connected and attuned with people in an ordinary, human way. Rarely had this growing up.

When I feel connected enlightenment seems unnecessary.

When I spend long periods examining my own aware ness I get isolated, unconnected w people, depression returns.

When I rejoin with people things are good again.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/22/2020 09:13AM by corboy.

corboy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I dont know if this will help. For me the deepest
> healing came when I found out what it was like to
> be connected and attuned with people in an
> ordinary, human way. Rarely had this growing up.
>
> When I feel connected enlightenment seems
> unnecessary.
>
> When I spend long periods examining my own aware
> ness I get isolated, unconnected w people,
> depression returns.
>
> When I rejoin with people things are good again.

Thanks for this personal observation.

Most of us need/want connection. When I experience being seen and heard, and get to see and hear others, my bio-chemistry changes, too. One common factor shared in the Blue Zones around the world (pockets where the longest-lived of us reside) is social connection.

Since about a year after the Columbine shootings, I've been practicing what I've come to call 'random acts of deep listening as a spiritual practice'. It assures that I 'get my fix' most days, often with people I've never encountered before that moment.

Namaste, i have been to entertainment sessions where the mind is soothed and you leave feeling soothed, only for the mind to rise again and you wonder why. That's why participants for entertainment sessions describe of having lost it, coming back to pursue the """master""" for more soothing druging sessions. Most don't realise they are wasting time and resources. Similar or worst than drug abuse.

Having been taught in Silence, one would advise that one pursue self inquiry with whatever spare time one has, e.g. start of day and/or end of day, everyday consistent, [youtu.be], instead of paying for these temporary feel good entertainment sessions which is no better than a Netflix subscription. In fact you get more from a Netflix substitution because you can watch the same movie again even after a year had passed.

Have a read at the dialogue below

"A SAINT HELPS THE WHOLE OF HUMANITY

Q: Are saints who live in remote forests and in the Tibetan mountains still helpful to the world?

M: Yes. Realization of the Self is the greatest help that can be rendered to humanity, no matter where the saints live.

Q: Is it not necessary for such saints to mix with people in order to help them?

M: The realized being does not see the world as different from himself. The help given by him is imperceptible but it is still there.

A saint helps the whole of humanity, unknown to it. The silence of a sage gives permanent benefit and instruction to humanity, whereas lectures entertain individuals for a few hours without improving them.

Silence is unceasing eloquence. Dakshinamurti is the ideal; he taught his rishi-disciples through silence.

Q: But would it not be more effective if he mixed with them?

M: There are no others to mix with, the Self is the one and only reality.

Q: But nowadays disciples must be created, and need to be found.

M: That is a sign of ignorance. The power which created
you created the world and can also take care of both.

Q: What is the use of people like you who sit still doing nothing when the world is in great trouble?

M: A Self-realized being cannot help benefitting the world. His very existence bestows the highest good to the world.

- Conscious Immortality
"

Heh, if you are in the lineage of the Marharshi, as you have claimed, follow the tradition, why talk so much? Why need so much sessions? Why temporary effect? Why cost so much? So thankful to you for differentiating yourself from the Real.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 09/22/2020 02:21PM by stefa.

Gaja Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Children on the street were greeting me, and smiling to me, or waving to me, also dogs were
> coming to me with sticks in their mouth so I couldthrow them. I literally felt like life loves me.


Namaste Gaja, you are LIFE. it's the worldly conditioning that we were subjected to since young, like mud, casting a veil over our true SELF, preventing us from realising who we really are.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/22/2020 02:19PM by stefa.

Soggydog wrote:

Quote

Since about a year after the Columbine shootings, I've been practicing what I've come to call 'random acts of deep listening as a spiritual practice'. It assures that I 'get my fix' most days, often with people I've never encountered before that moment.

When I can remember to, I will listen to what people say and also to the silence between their words. Or listen to silences on the bus.

Something good happens.

Some of the best moments happen when I see something special, like a couple of kittens playing in a window, another person comes along and I wave to them and point out where to look. We both enjoy it. Don't have to say a word.

I came across this article which describes what I think is a promising new way for science to understand the mind and the importance of social connections for mental health: [getpocket.com]

About social connections...


I red few spiritual books, and I'm being fascinated with life of Ramana Maharishi.

I wish I could find what Maharishi found, or Krishnamurti(who was extremly independent), or Eckhart Tolle who for years after his shift in consciousness was with no close relationships in his life, but he was so happy, and immersed in inner bliss. What about Maharishi, who almost no spoke with people, was devoted to inner silence. Even when I read his biography written by Arthur Osborn, I can feel inner bliss, peace. I start to think - Arthur Osborn was holy or something, because when read biography of Ramana on wikipedia I do not experience bliss, or pleasurable silence in my head.

I think when spiritual Heart opens, then all life is "felt sweetly" within, and then every encounter is joyful and even though, someone is alone, doesn't feel lonely, because already is whole, and "feels connection", is connected with whole existence. And connecting with people in daily life is not coming from place that is needy, which feels some lack, but more from place of wanting to give, share, not take, or fill up.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/24/2020 03:56AM by Gaja.

Hi Gaja,
I think that bliss comes with recognition of not being separate. If you think about it, it's really silly that we believe in some kind of entity sitting in the head, being the doer of the body's actions and the observer of its experience. This common fallacy is known as the Cartesian theater.

We're programmed by society and biological instinct to identify with this illusory separate entity and see it as the master whose desires should be fulfilled and whose fears should be heeded :)

It's easy to see why we have evolved this way: organisms functioning this way simply have a greater chance of propagating their genes. People like Ramana don't make babies, do they?

But if we're not careful, this bliss of oneness can be turned into another ego-desire. Then we're chasing the bliss and that chasing is exactly what keeps away that bliss, since it's the dominance of the ego-desires and aversions that expels it.

So the bliss of oneness is not something to want. It may come and go naturally and as soon as you start to care about its comings and goings, you're off track.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 09/24/2020 02:20PM by zizlz.