Dear Cinderella,
Your sister would have been pointedly made to feel “guilty” at her “failings” to not have been able to make the grade in the ‘Kingdom of Heaven”. She will be extremely disorientated and unsure if she is actually at fault herself. She will at the same time, probably be a little awkwardly embarrassed about her some of previous behaviour.
If she has retained any of the idealism with which she joined the JesusChristians I would recommend that you encourage her to “lose herself” in some of the pressing issues that continue to befall the world (I personally, became involved in one of the “Green” organizations myself for several years where I found the comradeship and unstinting and unselfish commitment to issues, very therapeutic). The loss of the "companionship" of the other JesusChristians (irrespective of the "costs of keeping that "companionship) makes other relationships seem shallow and superficial by comparison...hence her loneliness....(and she'll think(perhaps accurately) that you just "can't understand"...)
To have told me at that time I left the JesusChristians to simply “forget it” and “ learn to lose my dependency” would have simply told me that YOU didn’t have anything wider worth living for yourself (and couldn’t even conceive of such a thing) hence I’d just consider you someone that I couldn’t truly rely on or entrust with my own thoughts…..
Your sister (if she’s like me) needs something to fill the “vacuum” she’ll be experiencing emotionally and spiritually(possibly for several years to come)…..I’d recommend that you help her rediscover the ideals she has and find genuine people with whom she can share these and live them out….
I left (and returned!) to the JesusChristians before finally being able to leave for good as a result of not being able to overcome the “isolation” of being the “only person” in the world who believed what I did….take her need to express her faith seriously by helping her locate the company of some kind souls who can “reintroduce” her to a world she thought she had abandoned…(I wouldn’t recommend you suggest she try “therapy” of any nature as that’s simply telling her that whatever is deeply important to her, means nothing to you)…..I would reassure her, that you are supportive of whatever beliefs she may still hold, even if you do not choose to live them out as directly as she does.
She is welcome to contact me at
malcolmwrest@yahoo.com if she’s is comfortable with that (although there are a number of ex-members here who could be just as helpful as me and who may be more “on hand” than someone situated in Korea….but whatever she's happy with...)
Good luck and God's blessings with this....