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lthomas
I was dating a member who was emotionally and verbally abusive. To make a long story short he dumped me in a way that was extremely cruel, almost to the point that I am sure that he is a sociopath. I remember telling one of the members and the only support that I got was: Kiesha this is buddhism working in it's way for you. You must chant for his happiness.
A long time ago a woman was at a meeting and there was a guy who was sitting across from her she felt a connection to him so, she introduced herself to him and asked if he would like to come over and chant with her. The man ended up raping her. [This member later ended up telling me that it was meant for this to happen because she chose this life in a past life].
A few of the young women struggled as a result of being in relationships and were basically told the same thing. That they should chant for someone else's happiness who had treated them so badly.
lthomas, I'm sorry that this happened to you. This kind of "guidance" just seems to be given over and over again in SGI. Leaders give it to members, until the members are repeating it to themselves and eachother. Gingermarie, a few pages back, posted about having to work with an abusive male leader, and just being told by her leaders that it was her karma, and that she should chant for his happiness!
The basic premise of SGI, is that you can change ANYTHING by chanting. Anything! If you follow this line of "reasoning" to the end --EVERYTHING that happens to you or your loved ones is your fault because you could have chanted it away -- if you were chanting properly and enough.
"You can change anything by chanting." This is a faulty premise, and the source of a lot of bad conclusions, lousy advice, and personal suffering.
Also, I think an important thing to remember about SGI leaders -- is that you don't need any particular qualifications to be a leader. (I should know, I was one.) Also -- you don't get training in how to be a leader.
At the lower levels, where I was, almost any person who was willing to do the work would be chosen as a leader. I was willing to make phone calls and plan meetings -- so I was asked to be a group leader.
The leaders who were in the middle or senior levels, were the SGI loyalists. They didn't necessarily know anything about anything, not even Nichiren Buddhism. I'm no expert on the teachings of Buddhism, but even I knew more about that than some of my senior leaders. These people DON'T have any training in psychology, finance, marriage counselling, raising kids, medicine (unless they just happened to be a financial advisor, marriage counselor, psychologist or medical person by profession).
Yet we were always urged to "get guidance from a leader." WHY? The leaders did NOT know any more than the rest of us -- they were leaders because they supported SGI and President Ikeda unquestioningly -- and believe that you can change anything, from diabetes to an abusive relationship, by chanting. Which suggests to me that their judgement is pretty flawed! You'd probably get better "guidance" from stopping the next stranger you meet on the street and asking him or her for advice.
SGI leaders simply do not know what to say, other than, "It's your karma, chant more, work more for SGI." Whether the problem is that you're sick, in debt, someone is bullying you -- same response for everything.
I think people may be inclined to trust leaders and people in religious organizations in general. Even now, I can find myself thinking, "Well, so and so is in a position of leadership; surely they were chosen for a reason, some knowledge or insight." I find myself wanting to trust someone because they're religious. Then I think about the Catholic priests who've abused children, and the church officials who've covered up for them, the shenanigans that some of our elected officials have gotten into, the evangelists who take their followers' money and live in luxury, the SGI leaders whose lives are a mess, and yet they're out giving guidance to everyone else.
I have to remind myself that leaders are not necessarily walking in the right direction, and religion can be a great hiding place for scoundrels.
Anticult, as far as the allegations of Ikeda raping the women's division leader, I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. No doubt Ikeda would feel entitled to do anything he wants to any woman. Still, the alleged victim waited years to come forward, there is no physical evidence, and she and her husband want money. I don't see how anyone could prove or disprove it at this point.