Re: The Living Word Fellowship, The Walk, John Robert Stevens
Date: May 27, 2019 01:50AM
> Lilyrose said something once about how difficult
> it is to unlearn false and destructive teaching
> (so true). I would add, it's not always easy to
> recognize the false and destructive teaching. I
> don't call that being naive.
> In more recent years, I became a CASA (court
> appointed special advocate) for foster kids. It
> was difficult when you worked with a child that
> desperately wanted to be returned to their abusive
> parent or parents. Why would they want to do
> that? It was less about love and more about
> dependency, conditioning, and fear. I would never
> look at that child and say, "What's wrong with
> you, why would you want to do that?"
> Well, maybe we're not children, but I think many
> of us came into the walk with a child-like faith.
> We believed we found something real, something
> bigger than ourselves, and we wanted to serve. I
> don't think that was being naive. When it comes
> to abuse, in whatever form, blame lies in one
> place and one place only, at the doorstep of the
Valid points. Why would they want to return to an abusive home? Because we all feel most comfortable when we know the routine - what to expect. Leaving is terribly uncomfortable with so many unknown. "We" learned patterns of behavior of our abusers - we knew when to hide or to just brace our selves for the pain - even to disassociate. Going to what may be a safe home is uncertain. We don't know when to hide or stay quiet.
Brenda P did couples counseling in the early '80's when I was ordered by dhs to go to alanon. I was just learning ab out enabling an alcoholic. Brenda made a shocking statement to the group of couples, " we are children of an alcoholic". We learned to be co-dependent."
I have held that statement in my head. Kbbyne your insight on working with kids in the court is so very relevant to our healing. For the hanger- oners, unfortunately they have not realized how co-dependent they are . When they wake up to the fact we will be here for them. We will shun them like was done to our dying loved ones or the ones who chose to speak up and were branded. It will take a while to fix thinking that is like a scratched record in your heads.