Does anyone recall this policy roll-out attempt in LA? They were trying to get people to sign a legal document that stripped a congregant of their right to sue the Living Word. I recall Dan Staton presenting it to us in small meetings. I don’t think it ever got off the ground. Maybe it was decided that legally it would not hold water. I don’t think anyone signed it. Maybe it was just another one of those stupid loyality tests laid on us.

Thanks Puddington and Northerngater for validating that I actually made sense in my post on December 09, 2019 08:58PM

Re self nurturing and therapy.

It has been so long and hard to pull this crap together. After a long health battle I am emotionally and physically closer to a healthy goal. Cult Ed forum has been, gratefully, the opportunity to get the snap shots of the Walk out of my memory bank on to black and white words- has given me peace finally.

Norhtengatae, I have to LOL when you wrote, "..when I started writing and my friends and family were alerted. Suddenly, everyone thought I was writing about them and what they had done. It’s terrible, but I can laugh about it now!"

Similar happened to me, on a related Facebook page. I made the mistake of using the phrase, "in my book" meaning, in IMO, in my head, in my mind... One night I kept hearing the FB a constant annoying ding ding notification, but, I got no messages. The person who was trying to get my attention was not a "friend". Just because I have a notification on my lap top or my phone rings for phone call only. I do NOT ever have to stop what I'm doing - like trying to sleep because I was quite ill at the time- to answer any one. Legally 20 + constant alerts to a message is harassment. This person was out of control demanding that I answer questions about spying on the group to write the stories in my book."

When I figured out to connect with that person ( who could of had the courtesy to ask for a friend request in the first place) I felt viciously attacked me. then others jumped in with 'The Walk' paranoia - except for the 2 dozen people whom i had know all their lives.

This person thought I was not being transparent about my motives in the private group; collecting personal stories; 'hiding under a veil of secrecy'; knew my ex husband's family but did not remember me. All this person had to do was look at my personal page on FB or type my legal/ pen name in. One click to my personal page and she would have seen a photo of my late ex husband with our and our children. DUH! She accused me of lying about who I was. then others jumped in un-informed to "protect their privacy" when no one was saying much of anything except a few. OMG! I have laid my self open and vulnerable in order to get to the truth.
When I learned who this person was- that explained it all- I knew her family history and the community she grew up in. (Relates to my words on when, how where our parents and grandparents grew up in the Depression and WWII.)

For the public record: If I was a nasty person I could have inappropriately laid this person flat with her family history. "For the record" she wanted me to be so "transparent" but her user name did not ID her as who she was either- not explanation. ( Talk about lack of transparency! My name can be googled to read 1,000's of article I have written on-line.)

Her accusations to me privately and on the deleted conversation on the page were not helpful to the healing and growth of the group as she seemed to attempt to want to discredit me. that would have caused so much damage to those trying to figure stuff out like "should we stay or should we leave"? this person was not a troll like we see on the forum. ( Trolls are disruptive to the process of healing from a cult.) We survivors are responsible for our own healing that will happen in our time.

The FB attacks was very "Walk" like revealing this person's stage of recovery /not being ready to heal. She is simply at a different place than I am- and that is OK- except for the fact that there is no perfect place for any of us to keep updated on the TLWF and the king pin players. We are all at different emotional and awareness points in our lives. I can't control anyone else's behavior/ reactions - only my own. I dropped out from posting in a number of places for months - not from intimidation, but. to 'care for myself."

I tell the truth from my perspective. My perspective may not be exactly as another survivors saw the same thing or only heard rumors. My opinionated thoughts may not always be on target/ crystal clear/ as I 'explore What the F happened to us in TLWF/" as I process. I may blurt painful truths in a harsh way that triggers someone else. OUCH! some stuff is painfully hard to word nicey-nice and mindful of everyone as we all process 'What in hell happened?" and "where do we go from here?" is not a perfect process. Given the fact that not one of us survivors has a complete picture of the 'secrets'.

I hope that other forum members will ask any of us to clarify or consider looking at a different point of view when needed. Personally, I am open to a forum member, telling me to 're-think" ( As long as they accept my typos - disability related. Too bad there is limited time to edit.)

Writing fiction, based on our expertise, is a wonderful therapeutic way to control the outcomes and gain insights into personalities and options and consequences of dealing with fictional life situations. Of course, what we experienced in life and the trauma of The Living Word will have cross overs without depicting any one person. Of course, there will be coincidental actions of the fictional characters, simply because there are always patterns of behaviors. Some people may relate to fictional scenes - that is what holds the reader's attention. this does not mean a fictional character is biographical on any one person.

Hopefully, our fictional tales will bring new awareness, insight and desire to get safe and heal to the trauma of falling prey into someone else delusions. For us survivors in real life our real stories are far more complicated than a 200 page novel. Writing fiction fro therapy is not for everyone. Writing out the facts we know and our opinion we know on this forum is incredibly helpful therapy as it puts the memories on a much different page under a different light.

No one can un-do our past history. When writing, if you don't like the outcome- you have the power and control to change the story re-arrange the whole scenario. For me, writing fiction or my snarky blogs on family matters allows me to constantly educate my myself with facts VS being controlled under "the Living Word". Even if I trash a chapter, I have worked out a lot of things in my head - I can trigger my own flash backs, not purposely - but, I can control the outcome.

Onion, if I could sit in the tub of bubble bath with nice soap and not have to have to use my life alert button to have have fire men get me out of the tub, I would. LOL! So, I enjoy my body wash and stand in the shower for an extra long five minutes. - Thank you for the therapy suggestion of self nurturing. I used to think more than a 2 minute shower was a "sin", I suppose.

Reepicheep Wrote: December 13, 2019 06:15AM
-------------------------------------------------------
> I heard that Bowman Littleton died in the orient,
> still searching for the "real" thing after he
> realized that this was not it. So sad.

WOW! What can I say? thanks for the information.

I recall Bowman saying " I get my best revelations when I do ___ (some drug)." He really knew the Bible; but, it struck me as oh so very wrong to "get revelations" by using drugs.

what's wrong in this picture?

When I was being gaslighted it did no make any sense at the time why any of the leaders needed drugs to get a revelation of god.

Now, this belief of his is very revealing about leadership, in general. One of the problems is that I have to question how many TLF-er's were aware of the alcohol and drug use in the cult??? To grasp that fact I think should be extremely eye=opening. Many were functional alcoholics * and drug users.

If Bowman, as a prime example, cult hopped to the Orient, he never found a true revelation that people may have admired him for. that leaves a huge gap in what people believed - was the revelation not good enough"?

*FYI * It may be helpful for those who only read the forum to know some facts about functional drug users and functional alcoholics, as we do know for fact that seemed to be the trend among much of the leadership of the Walk. For your convenience I overloaded with quotes and some links about functional alcoholism and functional drug use facts. Knowing the facts I think is a compelling reason to question the revelation of The Living Word

Quote
To function is to be capable of carrying out a specific action or activity, to operate or to work. [u]High-functioning alcoholics[/u], then, are those people who are able to convincingly go through their prescribed roles and carry out their duties – yet who continues to drink alcohol.
They are able to maintain relationships with family, friends and colleagues, keep up with their job and home....they lead a double life: they are outwardly the successful, capable husband, wife, sibling, child or other relative, friend, or coworker, while inside they are alcoholics."

High-functioning alcoholics would never put themselves in the same consideration set as a skid-row drunk... both have the same disease, with high-functioning alcoholics (HFAs) the progression is different... extraordinarily high level of denial, they often find it extremely difficult to admit that they even have a problem with alcohol. Through years of success and achievement – despite drinking – the HFA isn’t looked upon by others as an alcoholic."...Warning Signs and Symptoms of HFAs Although some of the warning signs and symptoms of HFAs are similar to those of other alcoholics, they often appear at different stages of the progression of alcoholism... the longer the HFA goes without treatment, the more likely he or she will display some of these warning signs and symptoms.

• – The HFA surrounds himself with others who like to drink. This assimilation makes it difficult to pick out the HFA as being different from the rest. Besides, the HFA truly enjoys drinking and being around others with similar likes.] ...• Self-deluding – Some HFAs drink only expensive wine or liquor in the mistaken belief that this means they’re not an alcoholic. It’s a self-delusion that allows them to continue to drink with impunity.

[/quote] [www.addiction-intervention.com]

Quote
Characteristics of High-Functioning Drug Users
www.drugaddictiontreatment.com/addiction-in-the...
Common Drugs Used by Functional Addicts. Students may use them for exams, while others may use to meet a tight deadline. Meth users, however, rarely appear to function for long. – Cocaine: Believe it or not, cocaine is actually popular within some circles of business executives. Like meth, this drug is a stimulant,... no addict, no matter how high-functioning, can avoid the dangers of long-term drug abuse, and are in just as much need of help and rehabilitation as a drug addict who falls apart early on. In addition, all functional drug addicts and their families may face greater hurdles on the road to rehabilitation. Denial can become more difficult to overcome, while very long-term use, even if that use is moderate, can lead to chronic health issues. Overdose is also still a risk. ***

At home, problems inevitably occur as the addict breaks family trust with behaviors such as lying, stealing, and hiding to protect their drug use. In other words, while the addiction itself is fully functional, the user is not.

[www.drugaddictiontreatment.com]

Quote
People who refuse to get professional help for their addiction yet are very functional in life are commonly called functional addicts. It means that a person’s addiction is not always obvious to outside observers but is still very much present in their lives and is likely starting to affect their life negatively overall.

Traits of Functional Addicts
People may think that addictions prevent people from functioning in everyday life, but many addicts maintain careers, community activities and relationships with friends and family...can be difficult to tell if someone is dealing with an addiction or not,
False appearance of normalcy – From the outside, most functional addicts look completely normal and healthy, but they have actually developed a complex double life that enables them to function in society while feeding their addictions...Excuses – To continue the addiction, the functional addict must figure out how to hide his problem, which often means making excuses for unusual behavior...**

[www.foundationsrecoverynetwork.com]

Quote
But There Really Is a Problem
For the functional alcoholic, the denial runs deep, because they have yet to encounter outward negative consequences. They go to work every day. They haven't suffered financially. They have never been arrested. They don't have a problem.
The functional alcoholic consumes as much alcohol as any "full-blown" alcoholic, they just don't exhibit the outward symptoms of intoxication. This is because they have developed a tolerance for alcohol to the point that it takes more for them to feel the effects (including hangovers). Consequently, they must drink increasingly larger amounts to get the same "buzz" they want.

This slow build-up of alcohol tolerance means the functional alcoholic is drinking at dangerous levels that can result in alcohol-related organ damage, cognitive impairment,

**Not specific to Bowman, but, if we focus on the the word excuses in the above quote, what may have been the a excuse? how about an assault of the enemy or Jezebel? Or maybe the cover excuse was you people did not intercede hard enough. You are killing me with your lack of faith?

Only ministry was acceptable. Getting therapy or treatment for alcohol or drugs use was ever acceptable. I anyone got any kind of psych treatment OMG!

so many needed treatment. So many will go from one addiction to another one cult to another with out help. (Let's all get therapy and healthy!)

For leadership to drink expensive booze on church credit cards has been revealed on this forum by a number of witnesses. I saw the drug abuse first hand among leadership in Anaheim. I knew bowman for a very long time tho' I was not a close friend or anything like that. I had nothing in common except that we had children.

If you note the words above double life that pretty much spells out leadership in TLWF. ( Of course there are many exceptions- but who know for sure? One thing for certain is that all too many members of the Church of the Living Word had absolutely no revelation that we were being lead around by functional alcoholics and drug users saying one things, but, living an entirely different life style at our expense.

***How many in the cult overdosed by accident? How many died of secondary complications of alcoholism or drug abuse? I think far more than we will ever know. it's kind of like a slow suicide that could be prevented IF only. IMO , I also think that some leadership pushed over the edge some people who knew too much so they drank or did drugs. ( Please don't quote as a fact. this is my opinion form what I experienced before and after I escaped. Substance abuse served a purpose to keep the lies, cover ups, double life, the fraud going IMO.)

Bowman was at JRS side from almost the time he came into the Walk. He was cool guy. I liked him. I also knew that he was druggie. Way back when I did not think that his choices affected me - But, in reality from being better educated - this fact tells quite a bit about how JRS started his fraud operation that Marilyn absconded with with Gary.

It was to JRS and M & G advantages to discourage out side treatment and education. I only wish I could have process this 40 to 50 years ago. These facts, keep hitting me at a deeper and more clear level than ever before. I hope my words help someone to better process our survivor-ship on a healthy level.

Powerful re-post changedagain, thank you

Date: December 13, 2019 11:12AM

From October of 2018:

Re: The Living Word Fellowship, The Walk, John Robert Stevens
Posted by: Liamthomasusa ()
Date: October 30, 2018 03:03PM

Quote
I just read the Woodrow Nichols book... filled in and clarified a lot of information that had been cloaked in secrecy “need to know” .... I had just married one of the early Blix girls (1975)... I remember the whispered names and implications of secret relationships JRS had. I remember the phone call from

Reep thanks for the lnk" Reepicheep ()
Date: December 13, 2019 04:49AM

"An interesting link regarding the phenomenon known as "cult-hopping". Forewarned is forearmed."

[www.rollingstone.com]

Posted by: puddington
Date: December 16, 2019 02:50PM

Does anyone recall this policy roll-out attempt in LA? They were trying to get people to sign a legal document that stripped a congregant of their right to sue the Living Word. I recall Dan Staton presenting it to us in small meetings. I don’t think it ever got off the ground. Maybe it was decided that legally it would not hold water. I don’t think anyone signed it. Maybe it was just another one of those stupid loyality tests laid on us.


That sounds familiar, pudddington. Maybe they didn't end up doing the mass signing, but that language went into the 1992 bylaws. My understanding is that it wouldn't stand up in court.

NancyB, I remember that attack that caused you to leave another forum. As usually happens, the whole thing took place in the middle of the night when people who know you were sleeping. : (

NancyB, thanks for the info on functional alcoholics and other issues, like drug addiction. Back in the days when hippies were joining the Walk, I heard that many had lived in hippie communes and knew that they had probably taken drugs. But I wrongly (?) assumed that when they came into the church, they had been delivered from past habits. I never knew about any ministries taking drugs either. That is still shocking to me, but I believe you. I wonder if it could have had anything to do with JRS glorifying what they had "seen in the spirit" while under the influence, as though they had seen something real. I thought they were referencing experiences they had had before coming into the church. Maybe not.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/16/2019 09:49PM by Reepicheep.

Reep, you wrote December 16, 2019" Back in the days when hippies were joining the Walk, I heard that many had lived in hippie communes and knew that they had probably taken drugs. But I wrongly (?) assumed that when they came into the church, they had been delivered from past habits. I never knew about any ministries taking drugs either. That is still shocking to me, but I believe you."

The first winter camp that Iowa hosted CA youth was I think 1967. the boys stayed in the old Christian Tabernacle and the girls sleep I think at Bickhart's. My memory has kind of faded on exact dates.

Sometime after that the first of the hippies came to Iowa. That group went to the High School to offer to do an assembly on Don't Do Drugs like they did when in the communes. They told the students that God had delivered them. Well, it was kind of scandalous with the PTO president who swore Wash, Ia did not have a drug problem and the hippies would be a bad influence. We knew the woman was in denial about her own son. Awkward for me.

The assembly was fascinating tho' I don't think any one was influenced to not do drugs. Personally, I did not believe the hippies were clean - I thought they wanted to draw attention ot themselves as they looked so mellow. but what did I know? I was a goodie -2 -shoes critic at 16, 17, 18 years old. I felt really felt embarrassed because the parents of the HS students did not approve of hippies coming to town especially after the rude behavior in the shoppes on the Square by the CA kids during the winter camp.. Awkward!

In Anaheim in the late '70's early '80's I knew of at least 3 males who worked kingdom business who died of drug overdoses.

I witnessed a successful father and some of the leader bro's being very squirely as they hit pin cones with golf clubs at passing cars. I asked the wife what was so funny with hitting pine cones at cars. She was disgusted with the guys. "They're high again. I'm so sick of the drugs." Oh so that was why they are acting weird," I replied.

There were times when we picked up guys to go to the valley. They'd have my husband stop by the liquor store. They would run in and run out with a brown paper bag with a bottle. Sitting in the car with our 2 children they drank form the bottle the whole way. That drug was alcohol, not cocaine. I was upset about drinking in the car with our children on the way to church. Who does that? apparently a number of the guys and I was a "bitch".

One mother who would beat her toddler in front of the platform during services ended up at the counseling center where I took my son. ( I was so bad for getting therapy, don't you know..) I saw this woman and whispered to the receptionist that I had worried about the child as she beat him at church. I thought some one needed to know to protect that child. I admit that privacy was violated sort when the receptionist said, "She's here for door to door sales and she's not selling Avon." Apparently she was court ordered to counseling. I also found out that a number of others were busted to drug dealing as well. I did not witness it, but, I got some reliable information that I did not expect since I had left the cult by that time.

Many of the KB guys that lived near us talked openly about drug use. "See, I have no septum". Since I am still kind of stupid about most drug use, I am certain that I missed a lot by not understanding the lingo. One thing I learned was what "pass it to the left meant." I was kind of joke to some of the guys for being so naive.

In Waukegan they passed comic books in church to do drug deals during the mid '70's.

My antidotes are no real proof. I would suppose that deals were made in front of people who were none the wiser than me. I witnessed a lot because I took my kids out to the bathroom or I came late or left early because of my job.

I found out about 18 months after I left Anaheim to go live up north with my sister that my estranged husband had been smoking pot with Walk members for some time. I was shocked about the pot. I knew about his alcohol abuse and all the bro were OK it - yeah, they were drinkers as well. I guess that explained why with my income that we had no mil for the kids - it was spent of getting a buzz... and the The Unholy Spirit talking to the Bro was all OK with that. sounds nutz, doesn't it?

The CA youth of the '60's often drank when underage at some one's home when parents were gone. YIKES! a youth group activity with booze? Didn't set well with me as an out of state guest being the butt of jokes for not drinking. With no one 'having a problem" with Under age drinking I think we can assume that the excessive consumption of alcohol continued for many more years with the CA who stayed in the cult.

The drunk or drug behavior I witnessed was inconceivable thing for nice Christian kids to be doing. No one seemed to have a problem with the pastors home to be full of alcohol except for dumb Iowa girl. I can assume that expensive bottles of booze were there to drink not just for home decor.

Cocaine, acid and pot I think may have been the drugs of choice. But, I did not understand the drug lingo nor why anyone would want to use some illegal chemical to poison themselves. I also worked my butt of a decent paying job so I did not hang with the the groups when they were not at KB, but, outside the church.

I think it was assumed that everyone in TLW was dedicated to interceding the Kingdom in seriously. Who would have questioned substance abuse? Not many acted like homeless winos on skid Row. I had no idea that people abusing substance could keep a job. Nor did I have a clue about "enabling" I never called my ex in sick from work fora hang over. He did not get hang-overs. I will hazard a guess that the alcoholic bro did not get hang overs either.

if someone did not act like a high hippie why would anyone guess they were snorting cocaine. NO one looked like a druggie. I have no idea how many nor do I recall names, only faces. What I do know is that there was a significant enough number that a little leaven leavened the whole lump. so to speak.

Sorry about the rambling. I just have to get it off my chest after so long.

I hope my words make sense enough to answer someone one's questions that had been lingering in their minds all these years.

Reading the articles like from the links I shared above are still shocking to me at how so many people abusers can function-yet their bodies are suffering toxic changes.

It's tricky how a substance abuser can get you chasing your own tail trying to figure out what's not right in the picture. Later I learned that my gut was on target about some people as they spent a lot of energy covering up and distracting from the truth - like how much cash they took out of the offering when they counted it. Misuse of funds to support their habits and rocky relationships. ..oh wait, some where in this mess they were bringing in the Kingdom???

Ugh! I hated being put in that situation seeing crap happening and no one else had a problem with it but me. At least I can be a tattle-tail now.

NancyB...OMG to all of the above. I guess that I didn't know enough to even realize this stuff was happening under my nose. We were kept so busy repenting for having a "wrong spirit" all the time that we didn't notice what the leaders and others were doing. Also working very hard and going to nine church services a week. No wonder I always thought I had a "wrong spirit" or a "Jezebel spirit". I was upset a lot and couldn't figure out why.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/17/2019 07:16AM by Reepicheep.