NickleandDimed Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Lily, many individuals and families like Sandjt's
> were blown to smithereens. Heard men who left the
> fellowship, ex-ministries, talk about the rejected
> ones with little empathy. These men get together
> to rekindle the camaraderie they once knew as
> ministries. An addiction. I don't know if the
> little people experienced the same shared
> camaraderie and loyalty as the ministries.
> Sandjt's courage to speak out here might encourage
> the others blown to smithereens, but they will
> carefully weigh any risk of being judged again.
> That's what I did before posting. Very careful
> about what I post.


I find this post very interesting. The so called "little people" were treated just as badly and sometimes worse by some of the ministries. I would like some of them to post, not to judge them but to hear their take on things. I'm sure some think John died because of the "little people", or they got booted out because of the "little people". I have my theories of why things went sideways, but that's just it, a theory.

Upcoming Event With Father Claudio

March 17, 2017 — Friday — by Gary Hargrave
[www.garyandmarilynhargrave.com]

I invite you to join with me this Sunday, March 19, 2017, as I attend an event at Mother Mary and St. Jude Thaddeus Parish, a Catholic church located in Padre Miguel, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. This is the parish of Father Claudio Santana, my dear friend and brother. I am looking forward to all that the Lord will unfold during our time together.

You can view the event live starting at 5PM Rio de Janeiro time at:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BaFyRXEgjlE&feature=youtu.be

howmidoing Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hello all,
>
> I've been trying to follow the threads here. I'm
> glad I found this discussion forum. I was born
> into S. California church and subsequently left
> CTLW (they combined for Sunday service while I was
> in my teens) about 16 years ago after getting
> married and moving 3000 miles away. It took me
> years to realize that CLTW was indeed a cult.
> Mainly b/c I started attending other Christian
> churches and slowly saw the way that members were
> treated and saw people were not shunned that had
> to leave for jobs or other reasons they were still
> treated as friends. Some repressed memories
> started to dawn on me once I was in a safe and
> secure relationship.
>
>
> I was actually confronted by someone in the new
> church about JRS & CLW being a cult. I was so
> ANGRY! I was in so much denial. But years later,
> after I wised up, I realized that getting away
> from my childhood, and the doctrine was why I took
> the first opportunity I had to get away. These
> people no longer cared about me (basically
> abandoned me) once I was not deemed to be
> following their prescribed tenants of behavior (ie
> submitting to my "Elijah" (pastor) every move I
> wanted to make.
>
> Luckily, I see it now for what it truly is. I see
> how they do nothing Christian as far as helping
> the poor or teaching the Gospel of Jesus and
> salvation of souls. It's simply about expanding
> their own reach, their own gospel and getting
> people into their church. It's not about Jesus at
> all.
>
> I thought I was completely over the pain I
> experienced. My life is pretty darn good; but I
> still struggle with deep depression and suicidal
> thoughts and other issues that crop up without any
> noticeable reason. I recently had a long
> conversation with a friend I went to school with
> at COL (they no longer subscribe either) - and I
> felt so much lighter and freer after being able to
> discuss our childhood and what had happened there.
> It was incredible, I didn't call her to talk about
> this at all but somehow it turned out that it was
> exactly what I needed to discuss with someone that
> UNDERSTOOD. I realized that it's something my
> friends I have made today could not possibly
> understand at all b/c they didn't experience it
> and have no frame of reference. I realize that
> even though I have dear friends, I have no one
> that I can talk to about my life before I left.
> And I notice that I still feel on the fringe of
> Christian and secular society and of my church
> now, I never feel like I can fully fit in. But I
> think this is what I was brainwashed to believe as
> a child.
>
> After some research, I am realizing that much of
> what I experience with emotional distress is
> completely compliant with other ex-cult members
> experiences of slowly healing. I am starting to
> look into cult recovery therapy. Has anyone here
> undergone any beneficial therapy?
>
> Has anyone else felt PTSD like symptoms?
>
> Thanks!


Dear howmidoing: How I wish I could hug you and tell you I understand. So much of what you said resonated with me. It took a wonderful therapist specializing in mindfulness to understand me and identify my need to feel safe. I had never heard that before but she was completely correct. I recognize now how much of my life was spent trying to find a safe place. After all these years I am finally in a safe relationship. It's something I guard and tend very carefully because it took so long to find it and I didn't think anything like this existed. I am learning to treat myself with compassion and my compassion for others has increased too. I've also been learning to actually like myself. Imagine that!

I have also been treated for PTSD - something else that was readily identified by my therapist. It's interesting how PTSD and not feeling safe go hand in hand.

I am learning to treat myself with compassion and my compassion for others has increased too. I've also been learning to actually like myself. Imagine that!

I also really identify with what you said about not fully fitting in because I have felt that for years on many different levels. I tried various mainstream churches (but only churches whose leadership I deemed to have a system of accountability). I loved the organ and hymns that I remembered from childhood. I just never seemed to fit in though, and ultimately stopped trying to because it was just too painful. It's the same thing at work. It's the same thing with my family (the one that was blown to smithereens). I do, however, find that I fit in with my very small circle of friends and that works for me. Learning to like myself has helped too, although that's a work in progress.

I am sorry for your pain and hope you find relief. It is possible, you know.

Anyway, may you and all who post here be well and know peace.

kBOY Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Upcoming Event With Father Claudio
>
> March 17, 2017 — Friday — by Gary
> Hargrave
> [www.garyandmarilynhargrave.com]
> ming-event-with-father-claudio/
>
> I invite you to join with me this Sunday, March
> 19, 2017, as I attend an event at Mother Mary and
> St. Jude Thaddeus Parish, a Catholic church
> located in Padre Miguel, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.
> This is the parish of Father Claudio Santana, my
> dear friend and brother. I am looking forward to
> all that the Lord will unfold during our time
> together.
>
> You can view the event live starting at 5PM Rio de
> Janeiro time at:
>
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BaFyRXEgjlE&fea
> ture=youtu.be


THE BOYS FROM BRAZIL (1978)

Remember the hilarious and brilliant post from saw enough about movies that represent the LW. I am adding The Boys From Brazil. lol

I think Rio time is 4 hours ahead of West Coast. That means on the West Coast it starts at 1PM? I have plans and I can't watch it. So I look forward to your reviews. (not)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/19/2017 06:52AM by lily rose.

I wonder how long it would take to drive from L.A. to Mother Mary and
St. Jude Thaddeus Parish in Padre Miguel, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil?
It would be a bummer to drive the entire distance and not get there in time.

Excellent observations.

SouthGate Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> NickleandDimed Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Lily, many individuals and families like
> Sandjt's
> > were blown to smithereens. Heard men who left
> the
> > fellowship, ex-ministries, talk about the
> rejected
> > ones with little empathy. These men get
> together
> > to rekindle the camaraderie they once knew as
> > ministries. An addiction. I don't know if the
> > little people experienced the same shared
> > camaraderie and loyalty as the ministries.
> > Sandjt's courage to speak out here might
> encourage
> > the others blown to smithereens, but they will
> > carefully weigh any risk of being judged again.
> > That's what I did before posting. Very careful
> > about what I post.
>
>
> I find this post very interesting. The so called
> "little people" were treated just as badly and
> sometimes worse by some of the ministries. I would
> like some of them to post, not to judge them but
> to hear their take on things. I'm sure some think
> John died because of the "little people", or they
> got booted out because of the "little people". I
> have my theories of why things went sideways, but
> that's just it, a theory.

One thing I will never miss about TLW is the ingrained exclusivity and elitism.
It is so unfortunate that someone would think the "Little People" were somehow treated less badly than those who participated in the hierarchy.

Everyone was taken advantage of. Everyone. From the preacher who thinks much too much of himself, to the poor sod who throws money he or she really can't afford into a basket in order to support a flim-flam man like Gary and that ilk.

It's too bad that class action suits can't be brought against such organizations.
The largest tragedy is that TLW continues to thrive, to whatever extent. What a shame.

A Time Of Fellowship With Brazil Jewish Federation Leaders

March 18, 2017 — Saturday — by Gary Hargrave

[www.garyandmarilynhargrave.com]

- - - - -

Hearts Coming Together to Know the Lord

March 18, 2017 -- by Silas Esteves

[www.churchofthelivingwordniteroi.org]

- - - - -

(Rockstar status continues. No reason to come home anytime soon.)

pbxguy wrote:
"The largest tragedy is that TLW continues to thrive, to whatever extent. What a shame."

Yes--headed by a guy that can't, or won't, relate in a civil fashion to most people he encounters...likely has no regrets on the consequences of his vicious treatment of people in TLWF (leaders and 'little people' alike)...and yet has decided that he is an answer to bringing 'Oneness' to major religious groups that have been divided for centuries (mostly) over doctrinal differences. Wow.
If people still under his spell in TLWF could somehow see him for what he is--and perceive what really motivates him--that would be a major step to setting them free. Whether they could cope with this freedom is another matter. The regrets can be overwhelming.

slandjt Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>
>
> Dear howmidoing: How I wish I could hug you and
> tell you I understand. So much of what you said
> resonated with me. It took a wonderful therapist
> specializing in mindfulness to understand me and
> identify my need to feel safe. I had never heard
> that before but she was completely correct. I
> recognize now how much of my life was spent trying
> to find a safe place. After all these years I am
> finally in a safe relationship. It's something I
> guard and tend very carefully because it took so
> long to find it and I didn't think anything like
> this existed. I am learning to treat myself with
> compassion and my compassion for others has
> increased too. I've also been learning to
> actually like myself. Imagine that!
>
> I have also been treated for PTSD - something else
> that was readily identified by my therapist. It's
> interesting how PTSD and not feeling safe go hand
> in hand.
>
> I am learning to treat myself with compassion and
> my compassion for others has increased too. I've
> also been learning to actually like myself.
> Imagine that!
>
> I also really identify with what you said about
> not fully fitting in because I have felt that for
> years on many different levels. I tried various
> mainstream churches (but only churches whose
> leadership I deemed to have a system of
> accountability). I loved the organ and hymns that
> I remembered from childhood. I just never seemed
> to fit in though, and ultimately stopped trying to
> because it was just too painful. It's the same
> thing at work. It's the same thing with my family
> (the one that was blown to smithereens). I do,
> however, find that I fit in with my very small
> circle of friends and that works for me. Learning
> to like myself has helped too, although that's a
> work in progress.
>
> I am sorry for your pain and hope you find relief.
> It is possible, you know.
>
> Anyway, may you and all who post here be well and
> know peace.


Liked your post slandjt. Powerful. Inspirational. I am not a trained therapist, but was a school counselor for a while. One way to learn to like oneself is showing compassion to everyone. Except cult leaders. Being inclusive. Not cult leaders, though.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/20/2017 04:04AM by NickleandDimed.