For those who can still remember, the basic doctrine was that the restoration of the five-fold ministries would lead to the church as depicted in the book of Acts, with all the power and glory inherent therein. That would in turn see the restored church become the ark that would usher in the transition to the Kingdom. It was this lofty vision that provided the bait that caused us to bite the hook.

Now, of course, any such vision has succumbed to cataracts, with little more expectation than to be a respectable neighborhood church that attracts enough new members to make up for the rats abandoning ship.

I think the biggest mistake ever made when people started thinking of those five fold ministries mentioned in Ephesians 4 is when they got the idea that the Apostles (*much like the bishops) and the Prophets just were totally in such a high level of revelation that they could not be wrong, and that they were necessary as if the Lord Jesus Christ could not get along without them. I don't believe they were ever laid down that way as a ranking system. Just different types of emphasis, but one was not to be greater than the next.

I still marvel to this day how much lip service was put out in the Walk, from JRS himself as well, that it was to be "commission, not position." That was the most arrogant of a hiarchy system that I could imagine.

kBOY Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> For those who can still remember, the basic
> doctrine was that the restoration of the five-fold
> ministries would lead to the church as depicted in
> the book of Acts, with all the power and glory
> inherent therein. That would in turn see the
> restored church become the ark that would usher in
> the transition to the Kingdom. It was this lofty
> vision that provided the bait that caused us to
> bite the hook.
>
> Now, of course, any such vision has succumbed to
> cataracts, with little more expectation than to be
> a respectable neighborhood church that attracts
> enough new members to make up for the rats
> abandoning ship.

Hi Friends. I was a child in the walk, in Redlands mostly, in the late 70s (starting with Fallbrook) and early 80s. As bratty, rebellious teenager, I one day refused to go to church again. Part of me knew what was going on there was wrong, that my mother was being manipulated and that the whole thing was pretty scammy, at best. On the other hand, I knew some very decent and sweet people in the church, totally earnest in their search for meaning. In the end, though, I wanted to hang out with my troublemaker fiends from school and not go to church, and I was willful and stubborn. After a long battle with my mom, including running away from home and hiding out at a friend's house for a week, Marilyn herself told my mom to let me go my own way. This is simply by way of introduction. I've been reading your posts and it sure brings back memories. I've also been writing about those days for publication. I was recently introduced to this forum by someone who has read some of my stuff, and gave me a link to a brief but kind discussion of me and some of what I'd written about the walk. Anyway, I thought I would say hello instead of just lurking in the shadows. My weird childhood interests me very much, some would say haunts me. Reading your posts sheds light. Thank you for that.

KD87 I am very glad to meet you. I am looking forward to reading your posts. Maybe you can shine some light on the things that we are all trying to figure out. I know I learn something on this forum on a regular basis.

I myself was raising a house full of step kids in my Walk years. I know that they got burned out on church pretty badly. I can't say that I blame them for that. My first wife got pretty burned out too.

Anyway, thanks for showing up, because we all are interested in your experiences. I notice that the Walk has more posts than any other cult I guess. I think that in the encyclopedia beside the word CULT there should be a picture of the bible with the sword logo of the Living Word Fellowship.

Welcome KD 87. I do know that there are wonderful people in LW being ripped off and taken advantage of. Some are walking and serving the Lord in the only way they have known. You put up with the abuse, the horrible things that go on and have gone on. trying to remember the good and hoping only that it will get better. But it does not.

Churning and churning in the crucible as condemnation comes through the speaker urging you on to perfection and resurrection life.
Something is wrong with me. Oh I have missed it, have lost out. I am not dedicated enough, have not heard enough, have not given enough; swirling endlessly day after day trying to grasp the "current word". Oh, I have lost out.

It is automatic now and only God himself can make these people see. Divine intervention or perhaps a deep subconscious awareness that it isn't me. It is the system I have lived and breathed, but that Jesus Christ is the only king and His name above every other name. He alone is Lord and died for us; not Marilyn.

The usurper bids us adieu upon her exit; she has been fat and happy while we suffered. Yes, long ago clever and deceptive man has stepped in and usurped that place reserved only for Him. Or at the very least, critical thinking and autonomy as a human being regardless of religion, has been subverted.

It is delusion--someone else's delusion that now controls thoughts and behavior. The feeling of failure and losing out with God comes in strong because it feels so empty that all you can do is hold your nose and walk back in to the stink and confusion. Trying, always trying, just double up and jump again and again until you lie on the floor begging for the strength to go on.

That was me.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/17/2016 02:59AM by Cloudwatcher.

kBOY wrote: “For those who can still remember, the basic doctrine was that the restoration of the five-fold ministries would lead to the church as depicted in the book of Acts, with all the power and glory inherent therein. That would in turn see the restored church become the ark that would usher in the transition to the Kingdom. It was this lofty vision that provided the bait that caused us to bite the hook.”

--------------------------

That lofty vision entails the exaltation of a few at the expense and subjugation of the rest of humanity. It is so opposite of Jesus’ version of the way the Perfect Father in Heaven governs (Matthew 5:44-48).

I’m actually relieved TLW failed. Jesus needs to return and do all the governing Himself without any staff or administrators. That would ensure liberty, justice and mercy for all.

And the greatest among these were the apostles. And among the apostles, there was The Apostle, The Door Opener, the One ushering in the Kingdom Age with a Living Word, Christ in the Flesh, destined to enter into Resurrection Life with many sons to follow...(assuming they were obedient, and violent enough in their intercessory prayers to break through every restraint).
And then there was The Apostle's perfect other half, who alone, understood how to properly apply his Word--and kill what needed to be killed to ensure a perfect atmosphere for The Apostle and...
I have a headache. I'll try to complete this thought sometime later today, or never.

For all you slackers out there . . .

"Devote Yourself to God's Kingdom"

[www.garyandmarilynhargrave.com]

This, of course, is code for, 'don't even think about leaving TLW', and 'get your act/ass together and pitch in even harder'.

Wonders (or lack thereof) never cease.

Thanks, Apostle Dog. I look forward to learning more, too, and to participating in this forum. Yes, I do find it interesting and weirdly encouraging how many posts there are on the LW. Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you, Cloudwatcher. I like your user name. Thanks for the powerful evocation of how the church made you feel worthless. I could totally see that in my mom, this constant anxiety and desperate attempt to better please the powers. Crazy stuff. Do you remember the song that went, "the fig tree that bore no fruit is gone.."? That stuck with me all these years, since I first heard it as a kid. It felt like a threat.