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EXPOSITION1
SFBMoore and DayDreamer set this up. They are friends.

I know both Dennis and Carolyn, and this NEVER happened. Moore is pisssed because Dennis left her becasue he could not take her paranoia. Both Dennis & Carolyn will be suing over these posts/

I have no idea who Day Dreamer is. I have emails from/to Dennis and Carolyn to support my statements. I will be pleased to present these emails in court, along with bringing in the whole HAI organization, if necessary, to expose their sex-cult philosophy. (I am an attorney and know that these posts do not consitute liable.)

This really does sound like EXPOSITION1 is Dennis Jimmink. The language is identical to statements that he has made to me, and the typographical mistake are exactly like the ones that he makes. It would be nice if he could be honest and straight-forward and identify himself for who he really is.

EXPOSITION1 wrote on 6/16:

"SFBMoore and DayDreamer set this up. They are friends."

I am vouching for DayDreamer. You think she's ME--and she's NOT. DayDreamer is yet another sensible woman, in another part of the country, who has come to see the destructive nature of HAI, just as I did when it led to my breakup with AK1K two years ago.

I haven't even been on this list in nearly two years--I had to move on with my life, forget the guy I loved, and forget most especially about HAI. However, this thread is definitely encouraging my return to the discussion!

Like SFBMoore, I think I know who you are--and--if I'm right, then I'm truly sad, because I once thought you were such a nice, decent guy who loved SFBMoore very much. About this time a year ago, you wrote an e-mail to AK1K about his exploitive behavior towards SFBMoore and other women and how it bothered you. I was truly touched that you stood up to a man who had been your friend and told him that his behavior--and the pain it has caused--was unacceptable.

That was your finest hour--this, however, is not. :(

I considered you a friend.

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EXPOSITION1
SFBMoore and DayDreamer set this up. They are friends.

I know both Dennis and Carolyn, and this NEVER happened. Moore is pisssed because Dennis left her becasue he could not take her paranoia. Both Dennis & Carolyn will be suing over these posts/

Dennis, excuse me, EXPOSITION1:

There are only two people who know for certain what went on behind the closed doors of a bedroom shared by Dennis and Carolyn at a HAI workshop November 16-18, 2007. Carolyn's email says that she hopes the room does not have bunkbeds and asks you what size the bed is so that she can bring the sheets.

Are you one of the two people who really knows the truth?

And, by the way, I kicked you out....as I recall, you refused to leave.

EXPOSITION1:

Stop flaming the board.

If you continue you will be banned.

Here's an update on Exposition1, who by the way, is the soon-to-be-ex-husband that I spoke about earlier.

Please be aware that he (Dennis Jimmink) represents the HAI community and demonstrates what they teach at the HAI workshops. His behavior has been childish to say the least, and illegal at times. He certainly has not learned anything about taking responsibility for his actions or being honest. Either HAI workshops aren't worth the time and money, or their teachings aren't worth learning. Wonder which one it is????

1. He lied to the court in order to obtain an emergency restraining order against me. When the hearing was held, the Judge threw out his claim, severely scolded him, and has threatened to report him to the State Attorney General for "misuse of process."

2. My roommate had to get a restraining order against him because he broke into the house at 3 AM when she was there alone. Then he served her with an illegal eviction order. He also broke into the house several times during the day and stole papers related to our divorce.

3. He broke into my email account and obtained information that he attempted to use to publicly harass the woman who told me that he admitted to her that he was having an affair.

4. He was ordered to pay one-half of our joint debts. He is refusing to do so.

Great going, Dennis. A real fine example of what HAI is all about!!!!!

So here's the latest "integrity" report from HAI:

My soon-to-be ex-husband (Dennis Jimmink) broke into two of my email accounts (He is a member of the inner staff at HAI). I have filed criminal charges against him with the State Police and it is being investigated.

On one of my email accounts, he found information that a mutual friend and HAI graduate had passed along to me....he was attempting to gather information from HAI graduates to use against me in our divorce and she told me. Dennis reported her to HAI.

As part of the investigation, I asked HAI officials (and I went all the way to the top) to provide details. What did he report to HAI? What kind of evidence did he present? Was it the purloined private information from my email account that he obtained illegally? Did he present any information at all, or did they simply take his word for whatever he said? [After all, he is a HAI graduate, and a member of the inner circle....these folks do no wrong.]

Did the management of HAI make any effort to confirm the information that Dennis presented to them? Did they contact me to confirm that I had received it? Did they contact the HAI woman who passed the information along to me? [Both answers are 'no'.]

Was Dennis permitted to expound on the private HAI 'list' regarding his allegations, even if they were not true and/or obtained through his criminal behavior? Was Dennis considered so 'god-like' that anything he says is taken as gospel? [Both answers are 'yes.']

Is HAI guilty of very poor judgment? Is HAI possibly guilty of slander and libel? You be the judge.

So, after all of this, regardless of the truth of the allegations, and the fact that nothing was confirmed, the woman who warned me of his behavior was issued a reprimand by HAI.

HAI MANAGEMENT HAS REFUSED TO COOPERATE WITH THIS CRIMINAL INVESTIGATION. IS IT BECAUSE THEIR HANDS ARE NOT CLEAN?

IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE? IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH THIS ORGANIZATION THAT THEY SUPPORT CRIMINAL BEHAVIOR?

So, here’s the final word on how HAI destroyed my marriage….keep in mind that Dennis Jimmink is on the HAI TEAM and REPRESENTS THE VALUES TAUGHT BY HAI….he sits on the sideline of the workshops and the facilitators point to him with pride, and the HAI membership believes he is the kind, wonderful, loving, and harmless person who willingly listens to their every trauma.

During the ‘closing’ days of our civilized relationship, my husband, Dennis Jimmink, put in writing his plans for stealing my children’s inheritance. I have owned rental property in San Francisco for 30 years, and we agreed in writing, soon after we were married, that it was my separate property and all equity would go to my children. However, he was given control over my estate in the event of my death, and ultimately revealed that he had no intention of following my wishes…somewhere along the line he decided that the property was our San Francisco house and that he was entitled to a 50% interest, and that he was entitled to all of it in the event of my death. He threatened to kill me (and make it look like an accident) and during the divorce the house morphed into “our San Francisco house” and he demanded a payout of his 50% interest.

He is now deeply offended that my separate property was given back to me in the divorce and he feels cheated. He is deeply offended that the financial obligations were evenly divided. He is deeply offended that he wasn’t able to steal from me.

He spent six months acting like the world’s worst bully and tried to break me…emotionally, physically, and financially with unbelievable daily harassment and stalking. He committed the crime of using his employer’s computer to break into my email accounts to find information to bully and harass me, my roommate, and my friends, and complained when I indignantly protested. He lied to anyone who would listen, even to the HAI list and to the court. When I didn’t give in, he whined and acted like the most helpless victimized baby that ever crawled on the planet.

And here’s the kicker….the real test of what HAI behavior really means….Dennis continues to harass our mutual friend to whom he admitted that he was having an affair. She told me. He blames her for everything, as if there was nothing wrong between us and his philandering ways from the beginning of our marriage didn’t have anything to do with it. He claims that it is her fault that he lost the comfortable lifestyle that he was living based on my rental property income, my six-figure salary, and my ability to build financial security. He doesn’t realize that he came into the marriage with nothing……

All I can say to the women out there is to BEWARE. Dennis Jimmink is a con-man and a bully who cries on your shoulder for affection and beats you up if he doesn’t get his way. He will cry about how much he loves you (while you are vulnerable)…and curse you when you realize what is happening and protect yourself. He is looking for a sugar-mama to support him….for someone to kiss away his troubles with a fat financial contribution and someone who will willingly spread her legs anytime he has sexual needs.

I WONDER WHY IT IS THAT NO ONE HAS WRITTEN ON THIS THREAD TO DEFEND EITHER HAI OR DENNIS JIMMINK????? IS IT ‘OK’ WITH HAI THAT ONE OF THEIR TRUSTED INNER CIRCLE TEAM MEMBERS HAS BEHAVED LIKE THIS….THAT HE HAS NO INTEGRITY….THAT HE CAN’T TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR HIS OWN ACTIONS?????

IS THIS THE BEHAVIOR THAT HAI ENDORSES AND TEACHES??????

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SFBMoore
So, here’s the final word on how HAI destroyed my marriage….keep in mind that Dennis Jimmink is on the HAI TEAM and REPRESENTS THE VALUES TAUGHT BY HAI….he sits on the sideline of the workshops and the facilitators point to him with pride, and the HAI membership believes he is the kind, wonderful, loving, and harmless person who willingly listens to their every trauma.

I am appalled that someone in the higher echelons of what increasingly appears to be an abusive cult is allowed to continue working with vulnerable woman (and men). Maybe Janet Dale's attention needs to be brought to this thread. Your report has certainly made me think twice about my own involvment with HAI.

I AM ESPECIALLY APPALLED THAT THERE HAS BEEN THREATS OF DEATH FROM THIS MAN. MY GOD - WHERE'S THE "EVERYONE WINS" AS STATED IN HAI'S MISSION STATEMENT?

Whilst you say that this is your final post may I ask which branch of HAI this man is involved with?

With regards to abuse from members of the HAI leadership team I understand that there is a person in HAI called 'Chip' who has also been reported on the RickRoss board as being less than squeaky clean. I wonder what happened to him?

The whole affair of abuse of participants (yours especially) is what makes me really concerned about such 'self-improvement' cults. They are very free to take your money, they promise you Heaven and Earth, but then when things go wrong, instead of sorting them out and owning responsibility for them, they close ranks against the victims.

In allowing this man to continue in his role the entire HAI leadership team bear responsibility for his attitude and actions. Its an utter disgrace that he is allowed to continue his involvement.

I'm sure that we all look forward to some response from HAI here, if someone can be arsed to.

Hello all,
First, let me say that I have not attended any HAI events. However, I am in the process of losing my girlfriend of 3+ years to their little club. I believe SFBMoore's story, as it sounds like her ex is the kind of damaged person that would thrive in that setting. Having been fascinated by psychology, cults, and destructive charismatic leaders for over 20 years, I was naturally suspicious of HAI, its motives, and its methods. Most importantly, their lack of psych screening before the games begin is incredibly dangerous. In this case, made worse by being recruited by her own mother... I won't use names, but I'm guessing that if you're involved in HAI northeast, you know the mother, as she does a lot of work for the organization. Her reassurances to me that none of what I read regarding HAI being an incubator for poly sex partners was true, obviously were lies. Further, recruiting one's own daughter, knowing that there are issues with rape, abuse, addiction, and un-medicated bi-polar disorder; seems downright sinister to me. From what I've been able to gather, including reading the "secret" descriptions of each level, it is a huge engine that uses the threat of cognitive dissonance to coax people into a lifestyle where committed relationships are held in pretty low esteem, and real "love" is to be found in having sex with other people who paid a few hundred bucks to be in the club. The secrecy and confidentiality agreements seem to work as a wedge between any couples that do not both go to workshops. I have an IQ of 165, no real mental issues aside from occasional depression, 90% of the women I've dated will vouch for me as a loving, caring, gentle, deep, thoughtful person... In other words a fairly normal guy who is capable of deep rational thought and healthy emotions, and I'm certainly capable of working out relationship issues, provided the other person in the relationship shows up for the discussion. So, on this side, we have me. On the other side, we have an entire support network that justifies childish behavior, relieves guilt and responsabilty, and gets everyone laid... To be honest, I can see why it's attractive, in theory, as it means you never really have to change your behavior or compromise, even in the context of a committed relationship.

"Love, intimacy, and sexuality"? They redefined "love" to be such a vague and meaningless term, that it's almost insulting to hear "I love you" from a member. Intimacy should be a reflection of the emotional bond you have with somebody, not a way to form one with a stranger. And last but not least, let me describe what they've done for my sex life... In absolving members of all responsibility to their significant other, and encouraging (overtly or covertly) members to explore sex with one another, it returned to me a woman whose runaway Id, secretive relationships with other attendees, canned answer of "you wouldn't understand", etc put her in the role of petulant child... forcing me to take on the role of buzzkiller parent. Now, unless you're pretty sick, that is a huge obstacle to a healthy sex life. Well, it's an obstacle to my sex life, I'm guessing it works great for theirs.

To sum up, I've found their influence to be corrosive and counterproductive to any relationship that involves somebody from outside the group. What they offer is no different than the selling of indulgences. If you're reading this, thinking about sending your lover off by themselves to a HAI event, please think long and hard about how you feel about them sleeping with other people and feeling smugly justified in being ridiculously self-indulgent with the support of a large group of people.

I'm sure at some point this will filter back through the HAI apologists to the aforementioned mother. I offer no apologies for not only speaking the truth, but I will also offer none for finding her participation in the recruitment of her own daughter to be reprehensible at best... for many reasons.

Anyone who'd like to share more about the actual exercises, I'd like to hear about them.

WinstonSmith,

Wanted to respond and tell you that I understand the pain you are going through right now. For HAI to say that they are not a recruiting ground for poly-type relationships is one of the biggest jokes and most ludicrous misrepresentations and denials you can imagine! They make their presentations and recruit at all of the local nudist/poly-type groups. Most of the "management team" live a poly lifestyle. But, isn't denial of the obvious the way that cults work?

So, you want specifics about the exercises...imagine this....most of the weekend most of the people are completely nude. There are a number of paired exercises, usually with someone you don't know...you are encouraged to touch and carese their genitals; sometimes you are instructed to "do something sexual" with that person. Group exercises ofter border on group sex. Except for Level 1, there are no boundaries about being casually sexual with any other participant at any time during the weekend and it occurs spontaneously and often. All of this is done in the name of "sexual healing."

Like your girlfriend, my ex-husband went ga-ga over the concept of group sexuality. His mantra became, "I am entitled to have my sexual needs met. You don't meet my needs anymore. Therefore, I am entitled to get my needs met elsewhere." His time became consumed with bonding to the other disfunctional people at HAI and he went ape-shit over one particular female who "needed" him. This is extremely common at HAI. End of marriage/relationship.

As an update, my ex-husband has destroyed himself financially and emotionally in an effort to punish me. To look at his face, you see a man whose eyes reveal someone who is on the verge of a mental breakdown. In an effort to talk to him recently about a minor issue, he was so livid that he could barely contain himself and had to pause and stare at the ground for five minutes before he could continue. This man had huge anger issues going into HAI, and HAI only gave him the language to cover it up. HAI gave him the courage and support to continue with the cover-up. As it happens, life events forced him to break through the facade and a lifetime of anger issues spewed forth and they have consumed him. He lashes out at me for all of his pent up anger, and when I push back, he whimpers to others that I am being mean and I'm not being nice to him. He can't resolve the most simple of differences anymore because he is caught up in his web of deceit and anger.

If I can lend any support, let me suggest that you look at what you will need to do to move on with your life and take care of yourself. I have had to do that. It's not easy, but it is necessary when the person you have loved becomes entangled in HAI.