Re: quote, unquote "Real Love" - $$$ - The truth of RealLove
Date: August 24, 2018 12:21AM
At some time the beliefs begin to crack, the ground beneath your feet is unstable and full of sinkholes, there are voids in your consciousness and so, without realising you start to pull away from the Truth you know as RealLove©Trademark Registered because there is a deep feeling that something is not right. Maybe you’ve missed something, so you pull away a little in order to get some perspective. After all, any doubt or issue is our fault, our problem because we are not doing something right, not taking RealLove seriously, are being a victim, and trying to blame others, and God forbid that we could ever possibly conceive of the idea that RealLove might actually be to blame. Yet the reality is there. RealLove has been the one single thing that has remained absolute and unquestioningly beyond challenge, question or dare we say it….blame! We keep putting it off though, time after time after time. But it keeps coming back to haunt us, that maybe just maybe there is some fault with RealLove itself and not just me and everyone else being labelled a victim by them day after time, time after time, year after year. We keep delaying the inevitable, we keep putting it off incessantly because RealLove keeps telling us that we are the problem. RealLove will not help us, not talk to us, not engage with us or indeed not ‘love’ us if we hazard any intimation of confusion or questioning of RealLove not working or taking so long. It is always, and I mean ALWAYS our fault – WE ARE BEING A VICTIM. And, so we are told in no uncertain terms, they are going to refuse talking to us while we are ‘being like this’ as they don’t want to be splashed by us and our victimhood. So, like a child told off by its parents we crawl back to into ourselves and feel ashamed and stupid for bringing the idea up that maybe the Truth that is RealLove is not really ‘the Truth, the Whole Truth, and nothing but the TRUTH’.
We might come to this conclusion, this point of seeking and questioning many, many times during our ‘RealLove journey’ – and each time the same sequence has played out with the same response. When we question things and need to explore more, learn more, get more clarity etc. they (RL) have no time for us and throw everything back on us as being to blame. We pine for a while, because we are in emotional pain and mental conflict because we really are struggling in the dark and never finding the answers. While we blamed like little children - which in RealLove we are – and end up feeling shameful and stupid for questioning things, we take on all that blame as our own fault. Not just because we are told that it is our fault, but because we’ve immersed ourselves into the RealLove philosophy that we actually believe it is our own fault too. What is really happening is that our own gut instinct, or intuition, kicks in every so often and breaks through into our waking consciousness. It is a powerful feeling of truth that feels different to the truth of RealLove and we are compelled to try to make sense of it – to try to figure out which is the true TRUTH rather than ‘a formulated truth’. And over the many years of being in RealLove adherents will be confronted with this dichotomy many times – the response being the same each time. The response being the same is because we keep seeking to learn and grow from our RealLove daddy (wise people, coaches etc.) and they are not going to respond in any other way except the RealLove way. They don’t have our best interests at heart in regards to being a distinct and unique human being with a distinct and unique life to live, but only, and I mean ONLY, in regards to the RealLove way (keeping you infantilised, keeping you a customer, keeping you part of the RealLove family). If anyone really truly has our best interests at heart they will give us the most precious commodities we have in life – their time and listening to us without judgement (which of course, is unconditional love in all its glory). RealLove claims that when it chooses not to listen to us that they are being kind and loving us. When they are passing judgement and criticism on us, it is only for our own benefit. Somehow that does not fit in with the claims that make about them being unconditional love:
“There’s only one kind of love, however, that can fill us up, make us whole, and give us the happiness we all want: unconditional love or Real Love”
“You can only feel loved and happy after you actually tell the truth about yourself, and that requires faith on your part. That is the effect of RealLove, when we exercise faith and tell the truth about ourselves, we begin to feel the love that banishes emptiness and fear”.
“RealLove is the greatest treasure of all. Whatever effort and risk you put into finding it will be well rewarded”
As always, the claims never match the reality of what RealLove is actually all about. People genuinely believe the RealLove truth for what it claims it is and does. That it will give us that wonderful happiness of unconditional love, that when we tell the truth about how we feel or think that we will feel loved and happy and any emptiness and fear we feel will be banished and that RealLove itself is the greatest treasure of all, by being a part of the philosophy and living the RealLove dream we will be well rewarded. Yet, we begin to realise that it doesn’t feel like this at all. The rewards and feelings promised just don’t seem to materialize – and every time we seek for more clarity and understanding we are basically fobbed-off and called a victim with RealLove not prepared to listen to us all. In fact, they seem to go completely against their own premises. Our gut instinct keeps getting through to us to help us to find the answers and the freedom from pain we seek – and until we stop repeating the pattern of going to our RealLove daddy, a wise person or coach we will keep getting the same response every time and therefore we will remain stuck until the next time we are compelled to work through what is really bothering us and ‘needs’ to be sorted. It just becomes more and more painful and tortuous as we prolong ignoring that the truth of RealLove that we are following is not in fact ‘our’ truth – or indeed universal Truth for that matter! Knowing the RealLove truth is intoxicating – but walking away from it, our daddy, wise people, coaches, our RealLove family and everything you’ve ever known, and loved, and done and said for all the time in RealLove is beyond terrifying!!!
But something deep inside of us keeps bringing us to the same point over-and-over, year after year and until we change how we respond to it, we’ll just keep going along as we are – switching off more and more parts of our natural identity, closing aspects of our own growth and learning completely down and making dormant our natural propensity to question, challenge and form our own decisions in our own way, in our own time – ever since we joined RealLove and relied on a daddy to do all our thinking and decision making for us. At some point the need to learn to trust our own true self once again and to honour our own wants, needs, wishes, feelings, desires, goals and dreams will be strong enough for us to seek to be listened to by someone else - someone who is not in RealLove, and not a daddy or wise person but one of those heathens from outside whose only goal is to destroy us and give us only conditional love because they only want something from us. These are the things we have come to know that our daddy will not discuss, allow or truths that will never be disclosed. But the day comes when suddenly, we find the strength and the courage to actually speak to someone else and in doing so we realise that they are not what we were told they would be like. But by the time we have got to this point we’ve also realized a lot of other stuff too. That RealLove is complete bullshit, and there are contradictions everywhere, that the promises in all the glossy advertising, the books and original intervention do not match the reality of being in RealLove long-term. The reality that no one actually gets better, that other people are leaving, that the only victim-blaming that goes on is RealLove to its adherents, that a lot (if not most) of the people not doing RealLove are a lot more happier and content, and definitely a lot more loving than those in it. Perspective, when the blinkers start to fall off, is a wonderful thing. Nothing has changed, yet everything looks so different. And then the reality kicks in. The cold, harsh whole TRUTH of reality.
The reality of what RealLove mesmerized us to do, through the words and orders of our daddy, causes us to start punishing ourself. People ask themselves: “What have I done?” “Why did I do this?” when they look around and realise they deserted their family (partner, parents, children, relatives, friends, everyone they knew), and begin to feel ashamed and/or depressed or suicidal. The pain is exacerbated as we recall that every time we’ve been sad, lonely, upset, depressed, suicidal and seeking to be loved; that we were rejected from RealLove. We were told to stop feeling sorry for ourself, told to stop being needy, told that we were being ‘victimy’, told that we needed another intervention with daddy-Greg, told that we were being selfish and had forgotten all the love that RealLove had given to them. We recall how badly treated we were when we went on a date with someone who RealLove did not approve of or because RealLove said it wasn’t the right time for us to date yet; or the time we were on the edge of suicide and told we were being selfish with RealLove hanging up on us; or when we were told to ditch having feelings for someone we were clearly very connected to and wanted to get to know more (because they refused to join RealLove; of being told that if we didn’t reject our partner/parents/children/relatives/friends etc. that RealLove would refuse to help or work with us. We recall being snubbed when we needed to share and shamed for feeling suicidal when all we needed was to be heard and loved. We recall being told time and time again that if we didn’t find the money to get another intervention and go see daddy-Greg that we were not going to be helped anymore – that we were not taking RealLove seriously. And we sit there – alone – thinking to ourself “What the hell possessed me to do all those ‘loving groups’, be held and behave like a baby, say all that shit, do what I was told, say what was written out for me, and all the other stuff?” and we are then swept over with feelings of guilt, shame and self-blame – shutting ourself in emotionally and feeling scared that ‘this is it’, that you are trapped like this forever. It’s the sudden realization that what we thought was the real and whole TRUTH was just RealLove truth, and not really a truth at all, but a cult organization aimed at turning us into a Mormon.
Finding our ‘normal’ again then becomes the challenge of a lifetime and facing having to make choices is fearful and terrifying. Especially the choice to leave RealLove – the only thing we’ve known and had as a constant in our life for what might be years! Terrifying, because on the other side of being in RealLove – being free from RealLove – is that we have to face making decisions and choices all on our own again, and we’re not sure where and how to start with this. The realization that we’ll not be going back to a life we had pre-RealLove as it does not exist – we burned all those bridges years ago. So effectively no one will be there for us when we leave. It’s like coming out of prison after serving a sentence of many years to find that your whole family is gone, deceased, including every friend you ever knew. There is, effectively, not a single person outside of the RealLove world who is alive, left. This fact alone is enough to make most people fear leaving RealLove, because how are you going to get your life back in order if there is no one left in it, and no one who loves you?
And yet, our gut instinct, our intuition, eventually reaches through to our consciousness and we suddenly have both the strength and the courage to leave – despite what faces us. Over time we have seen some things, heard some things in RealLove that have disturbed us, reached into the core of our being and caused us to question everything and start putting things into perspective – to start thinking for ourselves! Leaving the control of a daddy causes leavers to at first feel lost and lonely – after all everyone, including the life we had pre-cult, does not exist anymore. We have to rebuild everything from scratch. We have to learn to think and act for ourselves, to follow our own answers, to hear and trust our own self again, to discern what is right for our self and to not be afraid of getting it wrong sometimes – to understand that there is no right or wrong way, only lessons. We need to build bridges with a whole of people we rejected and treated badly. We need to find new friends. We need to function ‘normally’ once again, without RealLove dominating our life in every way possible. And overwhelmingly, at the beginning, we need to overcome the effects of mind-control and all that ‘immersion’ we were convinced to keep doing. The initial effects of stopping mind-control suddenly are like coming off of steroids or antibiotics suddenly – but much more severe and frightening. The brain has been used to watching and listening to videos and audios non-stop throughout the day and the night (while we sleep) along with all the other tactics used, and therefore when it stops the mind needs time to adjust back to a normal way of functioning again. This will take time and require a lot of patience – as well as patience and understanding from the people around the leaver. The effects on the body and mind of stopping of mind-control suddenly can only be likened to what drug addicts go through when they stop taking drugs suddenly – ‘cold turkey’ – but affecting the mind, the emotions, our feelings and our concentration a lot more than our physical body. Sometimes people might be told that the feeling you get when you leave RealLove is because you are not getting the so-called unconditional love and happiness it provides anymore and that what you are actually feeling is being ‘empty and afraid’. This is rubbish. What you are feeling is the effects of deprogramming from mind-control – things like feeling distraught, zoned out, not real, weird, spaced out, dead. Leaving a cult like RealLove is no different to leaving any other cult as people are trying to rediscover a life without the cult, trying to function normally again without someone telling them what to do and say and think, trying to find new friends and learn to socialize with other people, rebuilding family ties, finding old friends, coming to terms with what you’ve done and said, getting over the brainwashing and a whole lot more! It’s not easy, and is probably the most courageous act of self-love anyone can do.
What we have to remember is that choosing to leave therapy, counselling, coaching, or self-help programs or organizations does not make us feel anything other than empowered and strong. That is after all their role and purpose (and granted, you might need to shop around to find what suits and works for you, but we cannot write off conventional help altogether because of someone else’s poor experience or pig-headedness). So despite how long or short you may have been involved, if your mind is causing you to fear leaving, keep swinging back and forth with confusion etc. then trust that mind-control has been working on you already. We might have doubts about doing or leaving therapy, counselling or coaching but we should never feel so attached that we struggle to pull away. RealLove certainly does this – it creates quite a strong pull in a very short time. Just remember that it is not love, it’s just mind games, love bombing, sneakily firing up you oxytocin levels and deceiving the mind with things you want to hear at a time when you are too weak to see ‘perspective’. But be assured that perspective will win out in the end, it may take many years to do so, but when it finally reaches through to your waking consciousness and you’ve had enough, it will be the very thing to help you make your move and save your life. And that’s the Truth, the Whole Truth, and nothing but the TRUTH.