"Holding on to anger at someone is like taking poison and hoping the other person dies."

I suspect that NVC ties into amygdala hijackings, because all of these circular arguments are designed to piss people off, cause them to lose their tempers, and in some cases, might incite violence. Then the normal person looks bad, while the NVC mind control cultie comes out smelling like a rose in the eyes of people who don't know what actually happened. Some activists use this tactic in political arguments.

For a review of what that looks like, here is the link. You might have to copy and paste:

[www.anonymousconservative.com]

In the video is also an example of gaslighting. Gary Busey had followed Meatloaf around the art supply store, surreptitiously buying art supplies that were identical to those that Meatloaf was buying. When they got back to where they were working, he then hid Meatloaf's bag of supplies, then made a show of unpacking all of his own. Meatloaf had reason to believe that Gary Busey had stolen his supplies. When Meatloaf's supplies are found, he comes across looking like a fool.

I believe this is what that ANON541 is trying to do to us. His latest reply is pretty much a bumper sticker.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/16/2018 05:20AM by kdag.

kdag,

Very informative, thank you.

I would also point out the Marshall Rosenberg's framework for NVC ties closely into the work of Riane Eisler.

[rianeeisler.com]

Eisler conceives of our current 'evolutionary' stage as constituting a "dominance culture", which, of course, ties into the endless quest of the left to re-order relationships such that they are not dominance or oppression-based.

People who fall down this rabbit hole seem to need to meet THEIR NEEDS by playing word games with others.

In my humble experience, those who are obsessed with the power of others, power differentials, are actually the more power mad among us.

bakkagirl

Please don’t join any group that attributes itself to “real love”. If you need help with personal/emotional problems or marriage advice or any relationship problems whatsoever,do your background checks and make sure they are qualified to help you with what you are struggling with. Check their background and their credentials before parting with any money because I can assure you, you will lose more than that,you could end up losing EVEEYTHING,like I did.

Did I have personal problems? Yes. Was there a problem within my marriage? Yes. Was it unsolvable? No,it wasn’t as I have found out since,there are many other things I could of done and it’s not until you are really “out” of real love (which wasn’t real at all) that you realise how stupid and foolish you have been. It brings up such grief and shame about it and the huge loss of everything,that you go into shock, which I think is why people are now too afraid to post anything or they are still believing all the BS and that everyone else is wrong,just like I did. I was hardcore at the start and would of bet my life on it. Of course,I will just be labelled a “victim” for posting this.

It causes complete dependancy,which is actively encouraged at the start. It doesn’t help you grow,it leaves you open and vulnerable and exposed and nothing ever gets healed.

Everyone is so really kind and supportive and caring in a way you might not of felt before (like me) and that becomes very attractive when you are at a low point and are desperate for some answers and want to save your marriage.

The end result for me is that I wasted 5yrs of my life,threw away a 23yr marriage and divorced my husband,which I totally regret.THe loss for me feels huge.my ex was concerned about the amount of money I was spending and the level of dependancy,but by that time,I refused to listen to him as I had bought into the whole thing by then and totally blindly trusted pete and Ben) I left my kids with their father who are now really confused because when I left,I was told (yes told) to tell them that I couldn’t find a level of happiness (which I was never gonna find) An ex that hates me,because of the awful advice I took to block him from contacting me, along with most of his family I suspect,and I’m totally distraught and suicidal and have to go on meds,reluctantly.

I lost all my friendships as for years I was travelllng up and down the country throwing myself into everything it had to offer. Seems I was a very good and compliant client as I now see it,desperate to get “held” most of the time,which if you look into the scientific research about chemicals released in the body (oxytocin/dopamine etc) these are bonding hormones which give you a “chemical high” and helps you to trust that person because it gives you a sense of “safety”. This is so wrong and this is why and how we have been emotionally left,like a child grieving for that connection,and low and behold,the “rug” was ripped from my feet at the end of last year when RL collapsed and being told by pete “it doesn’t work. It only works if you practice it in families”. Great eh? Divorced and left my family for nothing. My whole life gone.

Thousands of pounds spent,all the time I really couldn’t see what I was doing and when I would often break down in tears,i was either told “you are chosing to be a victim” or “your not trusting and remembering all the love you have been given” and of course,it was always my fault so I blamed myself.

I formed a huge emotional bond with pete Uglow and Ben leppier who became my “daddies” and had interventions with both of them and when I questioned Ben about me “feeling in love” with him,(as I was worried) he said “you are meant to be in love with your daddy”. He told me how much he loved me and that I was his daughter and I believed him. I was worried at one stage he would leave and he said he took his choice to love me completely seriously and that wouldn’t happen as I was his adopted daughter now. It all sounds so crazy making now as he is a married man with 3 kids and I know I’m not the only one this happened too. I felt very loved by him and still crave that connection.

I have found out that “real love Europe” is still filtering people to greg via kimberley who runs it. Obviously Greg’s right hand man now and why wouldn’t she be? She is addicted to him.

The other thing I was lead to was Mormonism which I have now left because it’s just another cult having done extensive research.

I’m probably going to get slated but I don’t care anymore. They have helped ruin my life. None of it was real. It was all “ego” driven behind a facade of having their own agenda because at the end of the day, it WAS a buisiness for them and brought them in quite a tidy sum,while systematically deconstructing peoples “egos”. Dam dangerous and totally unethical and absolutely nothing to do with being “divinely” inspired by god or led by the spirit.

Thank you for your post Link. A great reminder to never abdicate one's own authority 100% to ANYBODY.

Even if someone else does know the truth [how would they know what is right for you] and you follow it, because it then comes from someone else it will never feel right and your life as you know it may just worsen.

But it is kind of a good thing to be in the place you are in, even though it doesn't feel like it, it just takes honest looking, perhaps write it all down so it doesn't go around in your head, it can be a growing up and not being dependent and a baby all or lives. The deepest growth comes from our deepest pain if we don't try to crawl back to where we came from.



When Reallove Uk collapsed it was all hush hush. Suddenly the website disappeared and Pete Uglow/ and all the coaches were gone including Ben Leppier was out and no explanation was ever given. I'm curious as to what happened and why it is kept so secret.

ANON541:

"never abdicate one's own authority"?

Predatory destructive groups manipulate participants deliberately to gain undue influence in an effort to gain authority. They break people down to create self-doubt and engender dependency.

"growing up and not being dependent and a baby all or lives"?

Again, authoritarian destructive groups want child like dependency to maintain control. It is a planned and part of their strategic manipulation to put people in this place.

"deepest growth comes from our deepest pain if we don't try to crawl back to where we came from."

This comes across as victim bashing. It also reads like a rationalization for the bad behavior of leaders who inflict pain. The onus and responsibility is on the perpetrators not the victims.

Please refrain from victim bashing or you will be banned from this message board.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 08/17/2018 11:14PM by rrmoderator.

Thank you for the reminder, Moderator.

No one on this message board fills the profile of being someone who lives and thrives on victimhood. No one. In fact, the majority of shares are the experiences people have endured with cults and LGAT's and are the experiences of people who have genuinely been a true 'victim' in every sense of the word. Those sorts of people who live and thrive on being in victimhood would not be drawn to a forum such as this - they will be constantly seeking tea and sympathy and people to prop them up and listen to the same story over-and-over.


I'm not victim-bashing when I state this. I was in a state of grief and loss, as well as severe mental health problems for a very long time - years! Thing is, I didn't know what was wrong with me. I needed help and healing and was unaware that anything was wrong. But people got sick and tired of me, ignored me and were quite harsh. But no one ever fully listened to me and guided me into the right direction to get the help I needed - I didn't want to be medicated for life either. If I could not perceive my own mindset I was unable to acknowledge, and thus get help. It took a massive breakdown and suicide attempts for it to manifest and for me to finally acknowledge I was unwell and so get the help I needed. Many years later -all good now! It is okay to be a victim - it really is. We all need to experience it to fully appreciate what it is offering us. And the biggest thing it shows us is COMPASSION. You learn to be so much more helpful and compassionate as a consequence. More patient and tolerant. Learn to actively listen. Learn to love people. However long it takes, it takes. It will be different for everyone. If its taking longer for some, then let it be and support them through it with love. There must be a reason why some of us take longer than others to work through having been a victim of things not of our own doing. It is wrong to judge, criticise or be cruel to people who are genuinely suffering. Or to mock or shame too!


But there is a difference between those that are genuine victim, however long they may be stuck in that part of their life journey, and those who calculatingly and willingly 'choose' to 'play' at being a victim. Being either a genuine victim or a player does not feel good. Its horrible, vile. It does not lift or raise anyone, its just plain awful. We have to understand that. But right here, right now, on this forum, there is not one person here who is the type that plays a game of being a victim. Everyone is genuine. And everyone is brave and courageous for stepping up and sharing their (often horrific) stories of what cults did to them - WITHOUT THEIR CONSENT. That is what we have to remember, and why your reminder resonated with me so much. The mind is so easily manipulated, and more so by the clever deceptions used by cults which deliberately build confusion and despair. So yes, no one goes deliberately running back to victimhood, they are trying to get out of being a victim. When you've been so mentally manipulated and under the effects of mind control you don't know what's real anymore. You think that you are on the right path, but confusion leads you back onto the wrong one. Your mind is all over the place - so no one should ever think that anyone chooses 'in sound mind and body' to go running back to something that they are trying to get out of. They are just completely and utterly confused and desperate and don't know which way to turn and who or what to trust anymore. We mustn't forget that. Its not helpful to people struggling to get their life back, do normal stuff, understand reality, and put things into perspective to have victim blaming directed at them - like it was their fault for having problems before they were entwined in a cult, or their fault for having been entwined in a cult.


So while there are people who are happy and thrive on 'playing' at being a victim, this forum is not where they come to, so that argument or example is not required here as this is the wrong place for it to be used. All the people here are incredibly brave souls who have found the strength and courage to disengage from the horrific experience of being in a cult and under mind control, and while all have been a victim, what they need is the space to become who they are again. Sharing on a forum such as this is the most scary thing to do when you have left a cult. It can take weeks or months before you make your first post - out of pure fear of repercussions from the cult, of being pulled in to it again, of harassment and bullying or other cruel things happening to you. And when people post moments when they are being weak and confused we have to remember they are being vulnerable, misled, coerced and persuaded to go back - they are not choosing to go back and be a victim. We also have to remember that the effects of mind-control take a very long time to wear off - especially when you've had to listen to stuff every day and through the night - as your brain gets confused and goes cold turkey. And that's on top of everything else going on. A great time for cult people to step up and tease you with how much better your life was being in it! Again, they are abusing you and using mind-control techniques to control your decisions - its not the persons fault and they are not 'choosing' victimhood or the easy way out.


We must remember that RealLove 'creates' victims where there were none. RealLove 'creates' dependency for its own purposes and against our knowledge that it is going on. This is NOT the victims fault and does not demonstrate weakness of character or a propensity to choose poorly.


Nothing wrong either in needing the help and assistance of others for help and healing. After all, in our life journeys we need to experience 'giving' as much as 'receiving', so it is part of life to help as to be helped, to give as to receive. It does not reflect on our being needy or weak. However, in comparison to seeking help via conventional methods such as bonafide counselling, therapy, coaching, hypnosis, etc. where we will receive the help and healing we need and be empowered with tools to help us in the future, what we get with cults - and RealLove is no exception - is that this is not what we are getting at all. The people leaving RealLove still have the same issues they needed help with and which drew them to RealLove in the first place! Like some people have said, many 'years' later! The candy is held out and the carrots are dangled in all the claims about what RealLove offers (as well as other cults). We totally believe those claims. We totally believe they will help us with our issue. And when they put so much candy and carrots in the books, on the websites and in other materials we cannot help but be attracted to it. We must remember that RealLove other cults use attractive delicacies to draw people in whom they then manipulate and control to their own devices. So there is also nothing wrong in needing help from others, or giving help - but not to the degree that RealLove and cults do - controlling your decisions, choices, words, actions, everything. This is gross misuse of people's trust and vulnerability. So lets realise and accept that the good that RealLove promotes is merely candy and carrots to pull us in and get us interested and is not what they are actively promoting and fulfilling in their activities. There is nothing good about RealLove. Nothing unique and divinely gifted from God or Spirit. All just a deception to make you a victim, make you dependant in order to control you and when you become so weak and confused they are unable to help other than brand you a 'victim' and blame you for they have done to you!!!


Finally, it takes a great deal of courage to post about your experiences with a cult. Lets not make things worse for them than it already is, because it really is incredibly important that people can rely on this site for genuine experiences to inform their decision about whether or not to join a group which could potentially be a cult. We don't need to defend and support anything a cult uses (like RealLove using delicious candy and carrots) to draw people in, even if once the person leaves they can find something positive from their experience. NOTHING justifies, or ever should justify the practices of a cult however nice and loving such things are that said cult says and promotes on the surface. After all, its what they use to create genuine, unsuspecting victims whose lives are going to be decimated for many years to come - both in the cult and for years afterwards. People who share their hearts here don't need debates, victim blaming or defence of cults and that is why is it such a fantastic forum for getting 'real' stories out into the world. And who knows how many thousands of people this site/forum have saved from joining a cult over the years it has been up. Long may it continue.

At some time the beliefs begin to crack, the ground beneath your feet is unstable and full of sinkholes, there are voids in your consciousness and so, without realising you start to pull away from the Truth you know as RealLove©Trademark Registered because there is a deep feeling that something is not right. Maybe you’ve missed something, so you pull away a little in order to get some perspective. After all, any doubt or issue is our fault, our problem because we are not doing something right, not taking RealLove seriously, are being a victim, and trying to blame others, and God forbid that we could ever possibly conceive of the idea that RealLove might actually be to blame. Yet the reality is there. RealLove has been the one single thing that has remained absolute and unquestioningly beyond challenge, question or dare we say it….blame! We keep putting it off though, time after time after time. But it keeps coming back to haunt us, that maybe just maybe there is some fault with RealLove itself and not just me and everyone else being labelled a victim by them day after time, time after time, year after year. We keep delaying the inevitable, we keep putting it off incessantly because RealLove keeps telling us that we are the problem. RealLove will not help us, not talk to us, not engage with us or indeed not ‘love’ us if we hazard any intimation of confusion or questioning of RealLove not working or taking so long. It is always, and I mean ALWAYS our fault – WE ARE BEING A VICTIM. And, so we are told in no uncertain terms, they are going to refuse talking to us while we are ‘being like this’ as they don’t want to be splashed by us and our victimhood. So, like a child told off by its parents we crawl back to into ourselves and feel ashamed and stupid for bringing the idea up that maybe the Truth that is RealLove is not really ‘the Truth, the Whole Truth, and nothing but the TRUTH’.
We might come to this conclusion, this point of seeking and questioning many, many times during our ‘RealLove journey’ – and each time the same sequence has played out with the same response. When we question things and need to explore more, learn more, get more clarity etc. they (RL) have no time for us and throw everything back on us as being to blame. We pine for a while, because we are in emotional pain and mental conflict because we really are struggling in the dark and never finding the answers. While we blamed like little children - which in RealLove we are – and end up feeling shameful and stupid for questioning things, we take on all that blame as our own fault. Not just because we are told that it is our fault, but because we’ve immersed ourselves into the RealLove philosophy that we actually believe it is our own fault too. What is really happening is that our own gut instinct, or intuition, kicks in every so often and breaks through into our waking consciousness. It is a powerful feeling of truth that feels different to the truth of RealLove and we are compelled to try to make sense of it – to try to figure out which is the true TRUTH rather than ‘a formulated truth’. And over the many years of being in RealLove adherents will be confronted with this dichotomy many times – the response being the same each time. The response being the same is because we keep seeking to learn and grow from our RealLove daddy (wise people, coaches etc.) and they are not going to respond in any other way except the RealLove way. They don’t have our best interests at heart in regards to being a distinct and unique human being with a distinct and unique life to live, but only, and I mean ONLY, in regards to the RealLove way (keeping you infantilised, keeping you a customer, keeping you part of the RealLove family). If anyone really truly has our best interests at heart they will give us the most precious commodities we have in life – their time and listening to us without judgement (which of course, is unconditional love in all its glory). RealLove claims that when it chooses not to listen to us that they are being kind and loving us. When they are passing judgement and criticism on us, it is only for our own benefit. Somehow that does not fit in with the claims that make about them being unconditional love:
“There’s only one kind of love, however, that can fill us up, make us whole, and give us the happiness we all want: unconditional love or Real Love”
“You can only feel loved and happy after you actually tell the truth about yourself, and that requires faith on your part. That is the effect of RealLove, when we exercise faith and tell the truth about ourselves, we begin to feel the love that banishes emptiness and fear”.
“RealLove is the greatest treasure of all. Whatever effort and risk you put into finding it will be well rewarded”
As always, the claims never match the reality of what RealLove is actually all about. People genuinely believe the RealLove truth for what it claims it is and does. That it will give us that wonderful happiness of unconditional love, that when we tell the truth about how we feel or think that we will feel loved and happy and any emptiness and fear we feel will be banished and that RealLove itself is the greatest treasure of all, by being a part of the philosophy and living the RealLove dream we will be well rewarded. Yet, we begin to realise that it doesn’t feel like this at all. The rewards and feelings promised just don’t seem to materialize – and every time we seek for more clarity and understanding we are basically fobbed-off and called a victim with RealLove not prepared to listen to us all. In fact, they seem to go completely against their own premises. Our gut instinct keeps getting through to us to help us to find the answers and the freedom from pain we seek – and until we stop repeating the pattern of going to our RealLove daddy, a wise person or coach we will keep getting the same response every time and therefore we will remain stuck until the next time we are compelled to work through what is really bothering us and ‘needs’ to be sorted. It just becomes more and more painful and tortuous as we prolong ignoring that the truth of RealLove that we are following is not in fact ‘our’ truth – or indeed universal Truth for that matter! Knowing the RealLove truth is intoxicating – but walking away from it, our daddy, wise people, coaches, our RealLove family and everything you’ve ever known, and loved, and done and said for all the time in RealLove is beyond terrifying!!!
But something deep inside of us keeps bringing us to the same point over-and-over, year after year and until we change how we respond to it, we’ll just keep going along as we are – switching off more and more parts of our natural identity, closing aspects of our own growth and learning completely down and making dormant our natural propensity to question, challenge and form our own decisions in our own way, in our own time – ever since we joined RealLove and relied on a daddy to do all our thinking and decision making for us. At some point the need to learn to trust our own true self once again and to honour our own wants, needs, wishes, feelings, desires, goals and dreams will be strong enough for us to seek to be listened to by someone else - someone who is not in RealLove, and not a daddy or wise person but one of those heathens from outside whose only goal is to destroy us and give us only conditional love because they only want something from us. These are the things we have come to know that our daddy will not discuss, allow or truths that will never be disclosed. But the day comes when suddenly, we find the strength and the courage to actually speak to someone else and in doing so we realise that they are not what we were told they would be like. But by the time we have got to this point we’ve also realized a lot of other stuff too. That RealLove is complete bullshit, and there are contradictions everywhere, that the promises in all the glossy advertising, the books and original intervention do not match the reality of being in RealLove long-term. The reality that no one actually gets better, that other people are leaving, that the only victim-blaming that goes on is RealLove to its adherents, that a lot (if not most) of the people not doing RealLove are a lot more happier and content, and definitely a lot more loving than those in it. Perspective, when the blinkers start to fall off, is a wonderful thing. Nothing has changed, yet everything looks so different. And then the reality kicks in. The cold, harsh whole TRUTH of reality.
The reality of what RealLove mesmerized us to do, through the words and orders of our daddy, causes us to start punishing ourself. People ask themselves: “What have I done?” “Why did I do this?” when they look around and realise they deserted their family (partner, parents, children, relatives, friends, everyone they knew), and begin to feel ashamed and/or depressed or suicidal. The pain is exacerbated as we recall that every time we’ve been sad, lonely, upset, depressed, suicidal and seeking to be loved; that we were rejected from RealLove. We were told to stop feeling sorry for ourself, told to stop being needy, told that we were being ‘victimy’, told that we needed another intervention with daddy-Greg, told that we were being selfish and had forgotten all the love that RealLove had given to them. We recall how badly treated we were when we went on a date with someone who RealLove did not approve of or because RealLove said it wasn’t the right time for us to date yet; or the time we were on the edge of suicide and told we were being selfish with RealLove hanging up on us; or when we were told to ditch having feelings for someone we were clearly very connected to and wanted to get to know more (because they refused to join RealLove; of being told that if we didn’t reject our partner/parents/children/relatives/friends etc. that RealLove would refuse to help or work with us. We recall being snubbed when we needed to share and shamed for feeling suicidal when all we needed was to be heard and loved. We recall being told time and time again that if we didn’t find the money to get another intervention and go see daddy-Greg that we were not going to be helped anymore – that we were not taking RealLove seriously. And we sit there – alone – thinking to ourself “What the hell possessed me to do all those ‘loving groups’, be held and behave like a baby, say all that shit, do what I was told, say what was written out for me, and all the other stuff?” and we are then swept over with feelings of guilt, shame and self-blame – shutting ourself in emotionally and feeling scared that ‘this is it’, that you are trapped like this forever. It’s the sudden realization that what we thought was the real and whole TRUTH was just RealLove truth, and not really a truth at all, but a cult organization aimed at turning us into a Mormon.
Finding our ‘normal’ again then becomes the challenge of a lifetime and facing having to make choices is fearful and terrifying. Especially the choice to leave RealLove – the only thing we’ve known and had as a constant in our life for what might be years! Terrifying, because on the other side of being in RealLove – being free from RealLove – is that we have to face making decisions and choices all on our own again, and we’re not sure where and how to start with this. The realization that we’ll not be going back to a life we had pre-RealLove as it does not exist – we burned all those bridges years ago. So effectively no one will be there for us when we leave. It’s like coming out of prison after serving a sentence of many years to find that your whole family is gone, deceased, including every friend you ever knew. There is, effectively, not a single person outside of the RealLove world who is alive, left. This fact alone is enough to make most people fear leaving RealLove, because how are you going to get your life back in order if there is no one left in it, and no one who loves you?
And yet, our gut instinct, our intuition, eventually reaches through to our consciousness and we suddenly have both the strength and the courage to leave – despite what faces us. Over time we have seen some things, heard some things in RealLove that have disturbed us, reached into the core of our being and caused us to question everything and start putting things into perspective – to start thinking for ourselves! Leaving the control of a daddy causes leavers to at first feel lost and lonely – after all everyone, including the life we had pre-cult, does not exist anymore. We have to rebuild everything from scratch. We have to learn to think and act for ourselves, to follow our own answers, to hear and trust our own self again, to discern what is right for our self and to not be afraid of getting it wrong sometimes – to understand that there is no right or wrong way, only lessons. We need to build bridges with a whole of people we rejected and treated badly. We need to find new friends. We need to function ‘normally’ once again, without RealLove dominating our life in every way possible. And overwhelmingly, at the beginning, we need to overcome the effects of mind-control and all that ‘immersion’ we were convinced to keep doing. The initial effects of stopping mind-control suddenly are like coming off of steroids or antibiotics suddenly – but much more severe and frightening. The brain has been used to watching and listening to videos and audios non-stop throughout the day and the night (while we sleep) along with all the other tactics used, and therefore when it stops the mind needs time to adjust back to a normal way of functioning again. This will take time and require a lot of patience – as well as patience and understanding from the people around the leaver. The effects on the body and mind of stopping of mind-control suddenly can only be likened to what drug addicts go through when they stop taking drugs suddenly – ‘cold turkey’ – but affecting the mind, the emotions, our feelings and our concentration a lot more than our physical body. Sometimes people might be told that the feeling you get when you leave RealLove is because you are not getting the so-called unconditional love and happiness it provides anymore and that what you are actually feeling is being ‘empty and afraid’. This is rubbish. What you are feeling is the effects of deprogramming from mind-control – things like feeling distraught, zoned out, not real, weird, spaced out, dead. Leaving a cult like RealLove is no different to leaving any other cult as people are trying to rediscover a life without the cult, trying to function normally again without someone telling them what to do and say and think, trying to find new friends and learn to socialize with other people, rebuilding family ties, finding old friends, coming to terms with what you’ve done and said, getting over the brainwashing and a whole lot more! It’s not easy, and is probably the most courageous act of self-love anyone can do.
What we have to remember is that choosing to leave therapy, counselling, coaching, or self-help programs or organizations does not make us feel anything other than empowered and strong. That is after all their role and purpose (and granted, you might need to shop around to find what suits and works for you, but we cannot write off conventional help altogether because of someone else’s poor experience or pig-headedness). So despite how long or short you may have been involved, if your mind is causing you to fear leaving, keep swinging back and forth with confusion etc. then trust that mind-control has been working on you already. We might have doubts about doing or leaving therapy, counselling or coaching but we should never feel so attached that we struggle to pull away. RealLove certainly does this – it creates quite a strong pull in a very short time. Just remember that it is not love, it’s just mind games, love bombing, sneakily firing up you oxytocin levels and deceiving the mind with things you want to hear at a time when you are too weak to see ‘perspective’. But be assured that perspective will win out in the end, it may take many years to do so, but when it finally reaches through to your waking consciousness and you’ve had enough, it will be the very thing to help you make your move and save your life. And that’s the Truth, the Whole Truth, and nothing but the TRUTH.

Link Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Please don’t join any group that attributes itself
> to “real love”. If you need help with
> personal/emotional problems or marriage advice or
> any relationship problems whatsoever,do your
> background checks and make sure they are qualified
> to help you with what you are struggling with.
> Check their background and their credentials
> before parting with any money because I can assure
> you, you will lose more than that,you could end up
> losing EVEEYTHING,like I did.
>
> Did I have personal problems? Yes. Was there a
> problem within my marriage? Yes. Was it
> unsolvable? No,it wasn’t as I have found out
> since,there are many other things I could of done
> and it’s not until you are really “out” of real
> love (which wasn’t real at all) that you realise
> how stupid and foolish you have been. It brings up
> such grief and shame about it and the huge loss of
> everything,that you go into shock, which I think
> is why people are now too afraid to post anything
> or they are still believing all the BS and that
> everyone else is wrong,just like I did. I was
> hardcore at the start and would of bet my life on
> it. Of course,I will just be labelled a “victim”
> for posting this.
>
> It causes complete dependancy,which is actively
> encouraged at the start. It doesn’t help you
> grow,it leaves you open and vulnerable and exposed
> and nothing ever gets healed.
>
> Everyone is so really kind and supportive and
> caring in a way you might not of felt before (like
> me) and that becomes very attractive when you are
> at a low point and are desperate for some answers
> and want to save your marriage.
>
> The end result for me is that I wasted 5yrs of my
> life,threw away a 23yr marriage and divorced my
> husband,which I totally regret.THe loss for me
> feels huge.my ex was concerned about the amount of
> money I was spending and the level of
> dependancy,but by that time,I refused to listen to
> him as I had bought into the whole thing by then
> and totally blindly trusted pete Uglow and Ben leppier ) I left
> my kids with their father who are now really
> confused because when I left,I was told (yes told)
> to tell them that I couldn’t find a level of
> happiness (which I was never gonna find) An ex
> that hates me,because of the awful advice I took
> to block him from contacting me, along with most
> of his family I suspect,and I’m totally distraught
> and suicidal and have to go on meds,reluctantly.
>
> I lost all my friendships as for years I was
> travelllng up and down the country throwing myself
> into everything it had to offer. Seems I was a
> very good and compliant client as I now see
> it,desperate to get “held” most of the time,which
> if you look into the scientific research about
> chemicals released in the body (oxytocin/dopamine
> etc) these are bonding hormones which give you a
> “chemical high” and helps you to trust that person
> because it gives you a sense of “safety”. This is
> so wrong and this is why and how we have been
> emotionally left,like a child grieving for that
> connection,and low and behold,the “rug” was ripped
> from my feet at the end of last year when RL
> collapsed and being told by pete “it doesn’t work.
> It only works if you practice it in families”.
> Great eh? Divorced and left my family for nothing.
> My whole life gone.
>
> Thousands of pounds spent,all the time I really
> couldn’t see what I was doing and when I would
> often break down in tears,i was either told “you
> are chosing to be a victim” or “your not trusting
> and remembering all the love you have been given”
> and of course,it was always my fault so I blamed
> myself.
>
> I formed a huge emotional bond with pete Uglow and
> Ben leppier who became my “daddies” and had
> interventions with both of them and when I
> questioned Ben leppier about me “feeling in love” with
> him,(as I was worried) he said “you are meant to
> be in love with your daddy”. He told me how much
> he loved me and that I was his daughter and I
> believed him. I was worried at one stage he would
> leave and he said he took his choice to love me
> completely seriously and that wouldn’t happen as I
> was his adopted daughter now. It all sounds so
> crazy making now as he is a married man with 3
> kids and I know I’m not the only one this happened
> too. I felt very loved by him and still crave that
> connection.
>
> I have found out that “real love Europe” is still
> filtering people to greg via kimberley who runs
> it. Obviously Greg’s right hand man now and why
> wouldn’t she be? She is addicted to him.
>
> The other thing I was lead to was Mormonism which
> I have now left because it’s just another cult
> having done extensive research.
>
> I’m probably going to get slated but I don’t care
> anymore. They have helped ruin my life. None of it
> was real. It was all “ego” driven behind a facade
> of having their own agenda because at the end of
> the day, it WAS a buisiness for them and brought
> them in quite a tidy sum,while systematically
> deconstructing peoples “egos”. Dam dangerous and
> totally unethical and absolutely nothing to do
> with being “divinely” inspired by god or led by
> the spirit.

"In my humble experience, those who are obsessed with the power of others, power differentials, are actually the more power mad among us."

I think you should seriously question why you are posting on an anti-cult forum then... There are few forms of organization more totalitarian than cults.