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Re: quote, unquote "Real Love" - $$$
Posted by: ()
Date: February 25, 2018 10:05PM

I'm so happy to find like-minded people as for a long time I thought I was going mad. I've recently lost a family member to this 'Real Love'.
My person in question is extremely naive, and vulnerable, but doesn't have anything wrong with them in particular. I feel like Greg and his band of merry criminals have fashioned a mental problem for my person, and has absorbed them into his world. I genuinely don't know how my person will be able to afford it, and so I don't know how long it will go on for. What they preach is certainly not unconditional love, because as they stop paying I presume Greg will drop them. They are no longer his cash-cow.
My person in question has cut off everyone. And I really do mean everyone. They have joined the mormon church, stating that they 'always had an interest', yet I am the one who knows this person the most in the world (or I did) and they never expressed a notion of interest until Real Love. The whole 'journey' of them joining the church took about 2 weeks.
I think about this person every single day. I love them so much, and I always will. 'Real Love' teaches people not to love at all. It's almost as if it punishes people for their childhood. It judges people when they think from their heart, because if it's not Real Love, then apparently it's wrong. You imagine and read about this sort of thing happening to other people, but when it happens to you and someone you love, it's so difficult to comprehend. I love my person with all my heart and before Real Love they really were the most perfect person in the world. My soul mate.

Sorry to wallow, but this is the first time I have met people who are in the same boat as me. I'm so sorry that you all have experienced this too because it is so confusing and I don't even know what to do. You can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved, which is so heartbreaking.

We have to stay strong, and be there for our people should they ever see the light. I sincerely hope that one day Real Love is seen for what it really is.

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Re: quote, unquote "Real Love" - $$$
Posted by: DINGO ()
Date: February 27, 2018 01:39AM


You are not the only one experiencing this! There are others. Have a look at the other thread on Real Love - it can be found in "Cults, Sects and New Religious Movements" under the title Real Love.

I too fully feel the same as you do and have made a promise to be there for anyone who eventually gets out of Real Love and sees the light for what it is and what has happened to them - Mind Control, Persuasive Coercion and Psychological Influence techniques as well as psychological re-evaluation. The sad thing is that people pulled in to Real Love DON'T know that they have been mentally manipulated, they totally believe that we who are not fooled into doing it are the one's who are sad, insane, needing love, blind, being a victim or whatever, and that they are somehow saved.

The main thing to remember with mind-control is that where medical professionals, mental heath therapists, psychiatrists, psychological counsellors etc. MUST by law tell a patient/client that they would like to use a particular technique on them and get their permission first. The patient then has to be told what that technique is, what it sets out to achieve and any long-term effects or negatives to the use of the technique. The patient has the right to say NO, to delay, or whatever. But the main thing is that the patient is empowered about what is going to happen to THEIR mind, THEIR property. The clear difference with cults, Real Love being no exception, is that they DON'T ASK PERMISSION and just go ahead using all these techniques unsafely. Unqualified people doing psychological work. Posing as a life coach! It is not just all the mind-control methods being used all over the place in Real Love, in order to manipulate people such as your family member, that are damaging and yes as you say causing potential future mental health problems - as it most definitely will, but the fact that not being professionals certain methods are carried out harmfully. By this I refer to the 'Intervention'. A health professional knows how to 'read' a person right there in front of them, and understand them - not the same when done over the phone!!! Health professionals will open up the mind 'safely' and only bring out enough to be dealt with for that person for a period of time (at least a week, often longer) so that they can assimilate what has happened and understand things. They also know when to stop the process and to close the mind down safely so that it is not open to manipulation by others. Real Love doesn't know what the hell it is doing, and reject any idea that they are working psychologically. Sadly, your family member has been absorbed into Real Love as you say. That is a good description of what happens.

What we have to remember is that none of this is their fault. None at all. They don't need to be blamed, mocked, or judged for their actions. Instead we just need to keep loving them no matter how much we get rejected and labelled. Real love happens naturally and spontaneously, not due to a set of principles devised by someone. What you do need to do is to read some books on cults. I have read Rick Ross's 'Cults Inside Out' as well as many others, including 'Cults in our Midst', 'Take Back Your Life' and 'Combatting Mind Control' etc... Get yourself educated as you'll learn so much in these and other books to be able to understand what is going on in your family members life and head, and most importantly to 'be there' for them when the penny finally drops one day, as it will.

What makes a cult destructive is not always that it is like the cults that have made news headlines in the past (Jim Jones, Moonies, Waco, etc...) but they are destructive to the lives of the people involved and in regards to Real Love, the estrangement of family and friends and the hurt and devastation this causes, as well as the forced marital separations, the addiction and dependency on the daddys/mummys and sadly, but critically, the destruction to the minds of those pulled in, who cannot right now see or perceive what is happening to them. They will need a lot of psychological help when they get out one day, and will need lots of loving non-judgemental people around them to help them through it all. I can only, from my own experience, state that Real Love felt like a total 'Mind *uck'.

My other recommendation is to check the two threads on this website now and then, and see what others have to share who leave Real Love, or how family members are helped out. Useful stuff does come up.

And yes, I too hope that one day Real Love (and Greg Baer) are seen for what it really is.

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Re: quote, unquote "Real Love" - $$$
Posted by: ANON541 ()
Date: March 17, 2018 06:42AM

Dingo I have to disagree with you on a few points. First of all Family Counselors in general are woefully inadequate. There is a very low bar of entry into the field and many, if not most of them are misguided, sorry to say. Little clarity on boundaries, victimhood, or trauma, and often encouragement for people to try to medicate their feelings as an avoidance strategy.

Secondly, you said something about depending on one's family and that too is not always helpful. Those who have parents with severe personality disorders, (controlling, demanding, negative, manipulative) are often helped by going "no ccontact" while they learn more positive ways of being.

One of the severe mistakes RealLove® has is with suppression, "Anger is always wrong." This is severely misguided. Unconditional love is unconditional acceptance. If you can't even accept your own feelings, you can't accept another person or even yourself.

Michael Brown has written a beautiful book about this called "The Presence Process," as well as having explained it fully for free on youtube.

Interestingly, another cult leader Teal Swan has plagiarized and copied Michael Brown's work and claimed it as her own according to ex-members.


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Re: quote, unquote "Real Love" - $$$
Posted by: ANON541 ()
Date: March 17, 2018 04:17PM

One of the things about unconditional love is that we all have equal value. From the eyes of love we are all exactly the same worth.

With RealLove® Greg Baer has staked out the position in which he is the person in high status and you are the person of low status. He has even referred to his followers as "baby dependents" and that dependency is a good thing for babies [his followers].

There are many much better modalities to learn unconditional love than paying the kind of money involved with this group and having someone lord their high status over you.

Margaret Paul's Inner Bonding is good with its 6 steps: "Choose to be mindful of and pay attention to all distressing feelings rather than protect against them with substance and process addictions. Make a conscious decision that you WANT to take responsibility for your feelings."

From the Inner Bonding view, Greg is distracting people from taking responsibility for their feelings by having them seek approval from him or his group.

Lester Levenson's work on unconditional love is great. Non-violent communication NVC is good. Michael Brown's Presence Process... actually if anyone was interested I could name about a dozen groups or teachers doing much better work and without the huge money required.


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Re: quote, unquote "Real Love" - $$$
Posted by: corboy ()
Date: March 18, 2018 07:32AM

Ha. Greg Baer's RealLove is trademarked.

Now thaaaat is conditional love...

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Re: quote, unquote "Real Love" - $$$
Posted by: ANON541 ()
Date: March 18, 2018 07:56PM

We are "emptied out," by worry, anger, fear, "getting and protecting behaviors"... true enough.

We are filled up by unconditional acceptance.

When we feel "empty" (worried, upset, angry, grief, fear) if we bring unconditional acceptance to the feeling, allow the feeling, welcome the feeling... then bringing unconditional acceptance to it and allowing the feeling actually fills us up.

I will concede it may be helpful to call someone when you are feeling empty and have them offer you unconditional acceptance. However that ends up being disempowering because:
1.You are now dependent on others to feel well.
2. Having seen this work makes you susceptible to Greg's big $8k intervention play, which will be sold as the only thing that will make you better. It's not.

Sorry the only thing that will make you better is authenticity and bringing unconditional acceptance to your own feelings. Not making them wrong or seeking outside love/soothing.

Anger is not "always wrong for your happiness." Feelings are not right or wrong. Feelings just pop up as one more thing to be loved.

By just becoming a lover of your own feelings you will be freed from this endless payment scheme.


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Re: quote, unquote "Real Love" - $$$
Posted by: ANON541 ()
Date: March 19, 2018 08:26PM

The Magical Kitchen by Miguel Ruiz

Imagine that you have a magical kitchen in your home. In that magical kitchen, you can have any food you want from any place in the world in any quantity. You never worry about what to eat; whatever you wish for, you can have at your table. You are very generous with your food; you give your food unconditionally to others, not because you want something in return from them. Whoever comes to your home, you feed just for the pleasure of sharing your food, and your house is always full of people who come to eat the food from your magical kitchen.

Then one day someone knocks at your door, and it’s a person [cult] with a pizza. You open the door, and the [cult] person looks at you and says, “Hey, do you see this pizza? I’ll give you this pizza if you let me control your life, if you just do whatever I want you to do. You are never going to starve because I can bring pizza every day. You just have to be good to me.”

Can you imagine your reaction? In your kitchen you can have the same pizza – even better. Yet this person comes to you and offers you food, if you just do whatever he wants you to do. You are going to laugh and say, “No, thank you! I don’t need your food; I have plenty of food. You can come into my house and eat whatever you want, and you don’t have to do anything. Don’t believe I’m going to do whatever you want me to do. No one will manipulate me with food.”

Now imagine exactly the opposite. Several weeks have gone by, and you haven’t eaten. You are starving, and you have no money in your pocket to buy food. The person comes with the pizza and says, “Hey, there’s food here. You can have this food if you just do what I want you to do.” You can smell the food, and you are starving. You decide to accept the food and do whatever that person asks of you. You eat some food, and he says, “If you want more, you can have more, but you have to keep doing what I want you to do.”

You have food today, but tomorrow you may not have food, so you agree to do whatever you can for food. You can become a slave because of food, because you need food, because you don’t have it. Then after a certain time you have doubts. You say, “What am I going to do without my pizza? I cannot live without my pizza. What if my partner decides to give the pizza to someone else – my pizza?”

Now imagine that instead of food, we are talking about love. You have an abundance of love in your heart. You have love not just for yourself, but for the whole world. You love so much that you don’t need anyone’s love. You share your love without condition; you don’t love if. You are a millionaire in love, and someone knocks on your door and says, “Hey, I have love for you here. You can have my love, if you just do whatever I want you to do.”

When you are full of love, what is going to be your reaction? You will laugh and say, “Thank you, but I don’t need your love. I have the same love here in my heart, even bigger and better, and I share my love without condition.”

But what is going to happen if you are starving for love, if you don’t have that love in your heart, and someone comes and says, “You want a little love? You can have my love if you just do what I want you to do.” If you are starving for love, and you taste that love, you are going to do whatever you can for that love. You can even be so needy that you give your whole soul just for a little attention.

Your heart is like that magical kitchen. If you open your heart, you already have all the love you need. There’s no need to go around the world begging for love: “Please, someone love me, to prove that I’m worthy of love.” We have love right here inside us, but we don’t see this love.

--- from The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz

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