I read on this site and another that when being a part of something like this for so long and then deciding to leave can be traumatic. I have good days and bad days. One of the main things that was described is a feeling of embarassment for allowing oneself to be deceived. Another that stood out was greiving for time that was lost; devoting so much of your life to something and then finally realizing that it was a lie.
These are just two of the things I am dealing with right now to varying degrees. Its very painful and lonely. When your only friends are in the church and you decide to leave you realize how isolated you've become. Its a wake up call. Reading and posting on this site and reading others has helped me so much. We are not alone. Its unfortunate that our experiences are what they are but by posting hopefully we can help someone else. Pay it forward.
Another website that has helped alot is [voiceofwarning.net
]. I've seen some crazy things @ praise chaplel - and I would think to myself "is this really happening?"
its just too crazy. Well when I read this website there were so many simalarities between PC and CFM/PH it made me realize "yep - this is really happening."
Like I said "We can't make this stuff up."