I was a member of a church very similar to the one diesel51 describes. Even though it was 20 years ago, I am recently aware of the scars I still carry. I came to this forum wondering if anyone with a similar past would be here. It doesn't seem there are many, if any at all, "recovering" former members of such churches posting here at this time. However, diesel51's zeal has been an icy reminder, and I thought I'd try to post some thoughts/recollections. I hope they are meaningful or even helpful to someone.
In 1981, the "full gospel" church that I belonged to received a new pastor and slowly but surely transformed into an offshoot of
Faith Assembly. The name of the church was even changed to Faith Fellowship. The [i:af024b759a]faith message[/i:af024b759a] had always been taught in the church, but the transformation that accompanied the new pastor was hardly subtle. In part, the message became, God would heal every sickness if a believer's faith were genuine - in fact, God was obligated to do this. Walking in faith was accompanied by [i:af024b759a]positive confession[/i:af024b759a], meaning that believers must [i:af024b759a]claim[/i:af024b759a] the healing by acknowledging that it had already taken place. Even if it hadn't [i:af024b759a]manifested in the natural[/i:af024b759a], believers were to [i:af024b759a]walk by faith and not by sight[/i:af024b759a]. Going to a medical doctor was condemned as [i:af024b759a]leaning on the arm of the flesh[/i:af024b759a]. Members were constantly taught that those who couldn't take the [i:af024b759a]strong meat of the Word[/i:af024b759a] would not be able to remain in the church, and believers should have nothing to do with them. Women were to have their babies at home with the help of midwives – not with any real training, just women who belonged to the church. Women were to be subject to their husband, and had to show their submission by wear head coverings. There were members who resisted the changes (both overtly and passively), but most of those were driven off or just quit coming around.
Before I go on… Those particulars are just some recollections that seem to be the most pertinent to me at the moment. As I read what I have written, I have to admit to myself that the teaching in the church before the new pastor arrived wasn't that much different than after. The first pastor came from the faith churches of Lafayette, LA, a group that I just noticed also receives some attention on this site as cult-like.
My future bride was also a member of this church. She and I had been members since around 1978. She was more or less a passive resister and refused to wear a head covering, but she was thinking of me as her future husband and complied with my insistence that she wear a head covering. After about a year my wife and I were married. Ours was the first wedding the church had, and we were overwhelmed with attention. (The wedding was truly strange, but that's another story.)
We returned from our honeymoon to a devastated church. While we had been gone, a couple who had been [i:af024b759a]"standing in faith, believing"[/i:af024b759a] had withheld medical attention from an infant born with an intestinal deformity. The infant died while we were away. We attended services the following Sunday without knowing anything that had happened. During the service, a young mother, who was a friend of ours, spoke a [i:af024b759a]word of prophesy[/i:af024b759a] to the effect that the Lord was punishing the church for its lack of faith. The church went into turmoil of outspoken disagreement. It wasn't until later in the day that we even began to get the highly distorted picture of the events – the picture remained distorted for years. The church divided into three different groups, each with a self-serving opinion of who or what was to blame. I won't try to recount the events any further.
I wish I could say I had an immediate epiphany. I can't. What I can say now is that the faith-healing message is totally flawed. Faithful Christian or not, everybody gets sick, everybody dies eventually. Withholding medical treatment from children is a terribly selfish act that above all else seeks to retain or to earn approval of the group that espouses the doctrine.
It's self-deception to blame the message, blame the cult, blame this pastor or that elder. Awakening to the full realization of all the error is very difficult and painful. When honestly examining the flaws, you end up having to face yourself and the unsettling truth about the role you may played in the suffering of those who have died and those who have lost loved ones. A particularly vile realization is that those who are healthy retain special honor and learn to become arrogant taskmasters. It is also hard to begin to see the truth about whose approval you really have been seeking (man's not God's).
This seems far from being complete, but it's the best I can do for now.