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Sallie
Interesting.

1 - Damaged tells me that my tales of sex abuse are not believable

2 - Damaged tells me that I have hurt her with my words

3 - Exmember warns people about believing those who spew out Christian jargon(most OUTSIDERS are Christians)

4 - Exmember tells me I should ''JUST BELIEVE'' Damaged when she says she's not in a cult

5 - Exmember consoles Damaged and reminds her that everyone else believers her. Sallie is just a lone rebel on this site.


Is that about right?

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danjo
Being aware that current members may peek in at this site I am addressing this post to Richie Walsh.

Dear Richie,

I came upon this site two years ago. I would have thought the whole "Community" thing would have been dissolved long ago. Instead, not only am I reading of all the hurt, disillusionment, and shattered lives; but now I read that a new generation has been spawned to endure a life of futility pursuing an imaginary doctrine dreamed up by the now deceased Jack Hickman.
In March of 1982 I attended a meeting where Nancy Boles spoke. She told of a conversation in which you informed her of immorality behind the scenes going on with Lou Ramu. When Nancy came upon other information that would directly impact her family she contacted you for a further explanation as to what was going on. You and Nancy went to see your brother Dennis who revealed to a great extent the chicanery of Jack Hickman. What sticks out in my mind was how Nancy related that on the way home that night you were lamenting that after all was said and done at the end of the day you had to face the realization that you were just an ordinary 26 year old social worker. Apparently living out Jack Hickman's imagination was the only life you knew from when you were in your teens. One thing is for sure. In your heart of hearts you know this whole thing is a lie.
I want to tell you where I am coming from. In October of 1976 I was informed that I was to participate in a winter survival trip. I was just short of 21 years old, very naive, had never been on a camping trip and did not particularly like cold weather. There were seven of us plus you and Larry. Having been given a list of items to bring in order to be prepared for the trip it seemed odd that you specifically requested that we each bring a pair of shorts and a tee shirt. Well on December 26, 1976 we all met in Southold and spent the day learning about cross country skiing. It was after sunset that you brought us outside to the lake behind the house. We had all stripped down to shorts and a tee shirt. The lake was frozen over. A hole was cut in the ice and each of us was lowered into the water up to our necks for approximately twenty seconds or so. The purpose being that in the case of an accident in the wildernes we would know to control our body temperature.
Before dinner as we were preparing our backpacks I pulled you aside and asked you for my keys and my wallet as I decided I had to be out of my mind to be going on this trip. You responded by telling me that we would talk about it later on in the evening. Little did I know that in the middle of dinner you would tell everyone that I had something to share with the group. After I explained to everyone my misgivings about going on the trip there was a short discussion and then a vote. It was unanimously decided that I was going on the trip. The trip was somewhere in the mountains upstate. The first night in the tent I flipped out and had to be calmed down by my tent mate. I did not know at the time that I alarmed everyone in the camp as they all heard what was going on. However, by the third night you had expressed amazement at how I pulled myself together; how I owned up to something that I had to go through. That was a trip that changed me in many ways and I will never forget it.
When Jack Hickman announced on January 16, 1982 a reappraisal of the community I was frantic and completely devastated over the thought of being excluded from the community. I hardly knew what life was apart from the community as I became invovled shortly after high school. He played a very dangerous game with people's emotions. Over the next few weeks I learned the concept of the community was built on a top to bottom lie. I slowly learned to move on. It was only then that I began to grow up. Life has over the years been filled with many hard providences that I have learned I could not run from or side-step, however hard I might have tried. Nevertheless, the God of heaven and earth has sustained me through many trials all of these years.
I leave you with this. On December 26, 1976 you made me stand up and face the music; I told everyone how I wanted to sneak out and go home that night. I challenge you this day Richie Walsh to stand up and tell everyone including yourself that the whole Hickman thing is a lie.
I would have liked to reveal my name but I am honoring the wishes of the modreator of this site.

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rrmoderator
exfollower:

Personal attacks against members of this message board are not allowed and against the rules.

Please don't descend into a "flame war" or bickering on this thread.

This thread is specifically about "Jack Hickman" and his group.

Stay focused on that topic.

This is not the place for religious debates about what is or is not the "truth".

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rrmoderator
To whom it may concern:

The history of a group is important.

For example, if abuses did occur and the current leadership refuses to acknowledge this and/or covers up, it demonstrates persistent problems with accountability.

See [www.culteducation.com]

Ten warning signs of a potentially unsafe group/leader.

1. Absolute authoritarianism without meaningful accountability.

2. No tolerance for questions or critical inquiry.

3. No meaningful financial disclosure regarding budget, expenses such as an independently audited financial statement.

4. Unreasonable fear about the outside world, such as impending catastrophe, evil conspiracies and persecutions.

5. There is no legitimate reason to leave, former followers are always wrong in leaving, negative or even evil.

6. Former members often relate the same stories of abuse and reflect a similar pattern of grievances.

7. There are records, books, news articles, or television programs that document the abuses of the group/leader.

8. Followers feel they can never be "good enough".

9. The group/leader is always right.

10. The group/leader is the exclusive means of knowing "truth" or receiving validation, no other process of discovery is really acceptable or credible.

Ten warning signs regarding people involved in/with a potentially unsafe group/leader.

1. Extreme obsessiveness regarding the group/leader resulting in the exclusion of almost every practical consideration.

2. Individual identity, the group, the leader and/or God as distinct and separate categories of existence become increasingly blurred. Instead, in the follower's mind these identities become substantially and increasingly fused--as that person's involvement with the group/leader continues and deepens.

3. Whenever the group/leader is criticized or questioned it is characterized as "persecution".

4. Uncharacteristically stilted and seemingly programmed conversation and mannerisms, cloning of the group/leader in personal behavior.

5. Dependency upon the group/leader for problem solving, solutions, and definitions without meaningful reflective thought. A seeming inability to think independently or analyze situations without group/leader involvement.

6. Hyperactivity centered on the group/leader agenda, which seems to supercede any personal goals or individual interests.

7. A dramatic loss of spontaneity and sense of humor.

8. Increasing isolation from family and old friends unless they demonstrate an interest in the group/leader.

9. Anything the group/leader does can be justified no matter how harsh or harmful.

10. Former followers are at best-considered negative or worse evil and under bad influences. They can not be trusted and personal contact is avoided.

Ten signs of a safe group/leader.

1. A safe group/leader will answer your questions without becoming judgmental and punitive.

2. A safe group/leader will disclose information such as finances and often offer an independently audited financial statement regarding budget and expenses. Safe groups and leaders will tell you more than you want to know.

3. A safe group/leader is often democratic, sharing decision making and encouraging accountability and oversight.

4. A safe group/leader may have disgruntled former followers, but will not vilify, excommunicate and forbid others from associating with them.

5. A safe group/leader will not have a paper trail of overwhelmingly negative records, books, articles and statements about them.

6. A safe group/leader will encourage family communication, community interaction and existing friendships and not feel threatened.

7. A safe group/leader will recognize reasonable boundaries and limitations when dealing with others.

8. A safe group/leader will encourage critical thinking, individual autonomy and feelings of self-esteem.

9. A safe group/leader will admit failings and mistakes and accept constructive criticism and advice.

10. A safe group/leader will not be the only source of knowledge and learning excluding everyone else, but value dialogue and the free exchange of ideas.