"You cannot be in "out" but still be "in." Only until you truly declare yourself "out" will you start to be so.
There's a powerful blog "But Seriously" owned by a private individual who has left
Written from the heart, the brain, the gut. Not for those easily shocked.
Everything following this article is worth reading. Including the comments section.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Yuckity yuck yuck
I'm just..., I don't know. I'm just... distracted and agitated, but those don't really describe it well. Yucky. I'm just yucky. That's as close as I can get today.
Let me just elucidate some of my rights here.
I have the right to write whatever the hell I want on my blog.
I have the right to have opinions, and thanks to the first amendment and the fact that SOPA did not pass, I post them on the internet.
I have the right to withhold certain information about myself or other people if I don't understand why in the world anyone else would need to know it.
I have the right to withhold information even if I know EXACTLY why someone else would want it. It's called discretion. Look it up.
I have the right to not take someone's word for it.
I have the right to refuse to allow other peoples comments on my blog.
I have the right to not endorse what other people think (by leaving it up on the blog).
I have the right to say NO. Saying NO is not unloving.
"Webs allow a spider to catch prey without having to expend energy by running it down."
Within the cult there are people that act as spiders do. I feel that it may be doing the people on the outskirts of the group a disservice by not exposing these people for the lazy, manipulative, egocentric cowards they truly are. In my cult timeline, spiders within the group caused me to be in the group longer than my intuition told me was prudent.
These people act as a "more knowledgeable other (MKO)." I'm borrowing this term from Vygotsky's theories on cognitive development. The MKO, or spider, places themselves in a position that you fall into their lap or you find yourself caught in their web. This is the theory of learning by cultural and social involvement. This is exactly how the cult operates. Within the group, this typically involves engrossing the "youth" in a position where they are around people who can act as models for behavior, judgment, reasoning, faith, devotion, mentality, etc. The Spiders in the group are the people who corral you back into place if you find yourself wandering. In my life, there is the disabled hag, and the chain-smoking hippie.
If you are feeling out of sorts, if you have doubts, if you've been going through a hard time, talk to so and so. OR... you get a phone call from so and so. You are tricked into talking about your feelings.
Decide. Be a young revolutionary. Or an old spider.
I have one final thing to say about the spiders and one of the "stay" pleas. I personally, strongly, feel that you cannot "stay" in the group, and also be distant. You have been brainwashed by this group. Every interaction with the group further molds you into acting like everyone else. Of course we ARE all individuals and we are all going to do it in our own way. That much is true beyond a doubt. But, if you are a part of the group "for your parents" or even though you don't "buy into it," every time you attend another session you are modeling a behavior. Behavior modeling is one of the main ways that children learn.
Before we get our higher level decision making, we first learn to act based on what we see. Think about that next time you take your children to a camping trip. Think about that next time you take a phone call from the spider who wants to see how you've been handling everything.
Think about that next time you decide that you should send your children to a shabbaton with their cousins. Every interaction they are learning about how to be manipulative, manipulated, and lie to the point of delusional theatrics about their feelings, relationships, and intentions.
You cannot be in "out" but still be "in." Only until you truly declare yourself "out" will you start to be so.
Had I "stayed" in the group as people had urged me to... I would not have served any sort of revolutionary role for being this wonderful independent thinker. I would have been a troubled youth who lost their way. Because that is the mold available. There is NO room for "new" thinking in the group, because the only mold they are able to operate in, is Jack's.