Re: Trumpet Call of God
Date: October 13, 2010 09:15AM
frogla,
Take heart, I don't believe anything is impossible, especially with God on our side.
I wish I could give you some definite answers, but I think that would be better something coming from God, not me. I know how you feel though, I have myself been through some very rough times in my own marriage, and yes there have been many a lonely moment. I can't say for sure that the reason I joined the cult was because I was lonely in my marriage though, my marriage had been a lot worse in the past prior to the time when I joined the cult. Several times I asked myself and God if my husband and i should be together, and I know that during the cult days my husband thought very seriously about divorce too. Really, no matter what someone else tells you, go with what you feel God leading you to. Many people implored me during some dark days in our marriage which I won't go into detail about, to leave my husband and even implied I was not making good decisions for my children by not. I knew deep in my heart though that God did not want me to leave, that He would stand by me in the storm, and He did. I'm not saying that is or isn't the right choice for you, just that for me He made me know what the right answer was for me, and at times it was hard to accept it but whether or not I wanted to, I knew it. I'm not sure if this is really making any sense to you, or just confusing you further, I 'm sorry if it is, I just thought maybe by sharing my experience it may help you to work through yours. One thing I can tell you though, when I came out of the cult, and found my family and my husband standing beside me no matter what, and what they had gone through because they loved me, I felt safe and loved. If I had come out and my husband had left me, or my family wouldn't speak to me, though I would have probably deserved it I would have felt abandoned and it would have probably driven me either back into that cult or something else just as dangerous.
I also know the dangers of temptation when in a lonely situation, and that can be tough too. All I can tell you there, is it is a big mistake to go down that road so do your best to find the holes and recognize them before you fall in, otherwise it will be much harder to get out once you're in and you'll definitely be worse for wear from the fall.
As far as Trent's childhood playing a factor, I agree. I think generally we tend to look at authority figures we are used to in our lives and superimpose them in our spiritual beliefs to "shape" our view of God. Trent and I identified on a few points with regards to this in our counselling sessions etc. and he even helped me to see that my view of God had been shaped by things in my past (during which he spoke of some of the issues in his past as you mentioned above to illustrate his points). Because of the fact that he sees Timothy as a conduit for God, he likely regards Timothy as sort of a "replacement" father in a sense because Timothy falls in line with the viewpoint he has on God and His character. Another thing I have realized for me anyways, is I have always hungered for a deeper and closer relationship with God, from the time I was a teenager; but I also know that discernment is not my strong suit. I think that caused a perfect mixture for me to be vulnerable to this, I don't know if that is the same for Trent or not, but if so he could have just been searching for a deeper sense of belonging in Christ but missed the trees for the forest in a sense.
I really hope my words have made things easier for you and not harder, if I can help you or if you have any other questions that you think might make things clearer for you, I'm here and please know that I will be praying for you.
Much love in Christ,
LLG