Re: Soka Gakkai International -- SGI
Date: April 18, 2012 01:12PM
Please read this, I know it's long, sorry. Wow, am I glad I found this forum. I've been with the SGI since September 2011, I received my Gohonzon in November. I joined SGI because I was in a really bad depressed stage. It was the first time I ever felt suicidal. I called doctors to schedule appointments but I was not 18 at the time. I've been an Atheist ever since I can remember but I guess I was in such a bad stage, I did what I never thought I would do. I decided to join a religion. I found out about Buddhism through my 9th grade history teacher; we had a project on religion. I was automatically attracted to Buddhism. One day I just couldn't handle it so I Googled "Buddhism". I found out there was a "Friendship Center" a couple blocks from my house, so I walked. As soon as I entered, I was hit with tons of smiles (To the point where it got creepy). I've never met people so nice, I wanted to be like that, so I spoke to a worker there. (Deep down I thought these people were crazy. How can someone be this happy?) When I told them my story, I kid you not, they thought I was some sort of reborn Buddhist. They rarely get random walk-ins by people, and specially not people this young. I was saddened when they told me about the chanting. I thought it was going to be like traditional Buddhism where you meditate and learn from monks. All the leaders look like uptight businessmen. When they told me about chanting and how it is "GUARANTEED" to make you happy, I was instantly hooked. They took me into the chanting room and I quickly started chanting... I cried, I guess it was because I knew I was going to get saved from my depression. I seriously thought that destiny was what brought me to the SGI, and I though that WAS the CORRECT religion. I was treated like a celebrity, people knew my name and they always complimented on my age. I felt like I belonged. A couple days after I shakabukued myself, I shakabukued my 15 year old brother. He was hooked too. It's now April and I want out. Although I met some very nice, sane people. I mostly encountered "not-so-sane" people. I was scared. I didn't want to end up like that. So I took everything they told me, and didn't do it how they told me to do it. I was doing it my way. Some of them weren't so happy of me doing this. The entire time I was there, I kept a close eye on the behavior of people in high ranks. One time, there was a lecture by a leader named Greg Martin. After the lecture we were encouraged to ask questions. This middle aged man got up and suggested that instead of just chanting, we actually do something for world peace. He was INSTANTLY shut up and kicked out of the auditorium. I was appalled by the way these "Buddhist" behaved. They called him names and booed him! After the meeting was over I went looking for this guy to listen to what he had to say and tell him that the people were assholes. I couldn't find him. You guys will not believe this story: I would go to the friendship center every morning ( I was a local for a couple of months). Everyday I met someone new and one day I met this old man from Dutch. He approached me with "You have the eyes of an actor". I was flattered that someone would say that. He told me he was a physcologist and that he would treat members for free. I saw this as my first real benefit because before I became a Buddhist, I wanted a doctor. We met every other day. He looked creepy. One time I asked him to evaluate me and he said okay. He asked me a series of questions that haunt me to this day. "What would you do if a male friend told you to have sex with him?", "What if he gave you 10,000 dollars?". I said no to both and then he said, " Okay, this means you're a man who sticks to his true nature". I didn't want to be rude and leave, so I stayed until I could come up with a GOOD reason to go home. This guy was a fucking CREEP! He invited my brother and I to the Getty Villa, we didn't want to be rude so we said yes. The worst mistake ever. The whole trip was a soft molestation of the mind. He calls me at least once a week, I deny his calls. He sometimes even calls me on a private number. Enough about the creeps and jerks that I've met through the SGI. All the SGI cares about is chanting chanting chanting! I once was worried that I was getting a bit dependent on chanting and ALL the leaders said that there is no such thing and being dependent of chanting, instead I was "lucky" to feel like this because it would encourage more chanting. I hate the idea of worshiping someone and yes, the SGI worship Ikeda. I never liked the dude, I don't worship ANYBODY, let alone someone I don't personally know. I became a Gajokai last month. I wanted the work experience and discipline. Knowing now about the amount of money the SGI makes, I'm pissed at the fact that I was cleaning up after crazy people without pay! Chanting seriously cannot be healthy, I just worry for the people would chant for hours on end and still have no job or home. Like, INSTEAD of chanting, why not go OUT and look for a job?! I'm fed up with the money and time I need to put in. I've met a couple of cool people, I know they're cool when I have them on Facebook and they have a life outside the SGI. I'm thankful for the help I got when I needed help. I'll tell you this, chanting did not cure me of my depression, it was the fact that I was interacting with people. I really want to believe that the SGI is a cult so I can contact my district leader and announce that I will be leaving. So I'll be reading closely to this forum. Please reply to this.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/18/2012 07:44PM by rrmoderator.