Well I guess it had to happen. My ex-wife contacted me and asked me to help her. It seems that she has seen the value of PSI and what it did to her life. As most of you know she left me more than 3 years ago because of her involvement in this ‘group.’ She said she was sorry about what took place but still couldn’t explain why this had the influence it did. I learned that the new man in her life just dumped her after learning that she is pregnant. So much for the universe taking care of her and the problems of life. I guess reality had to rear its ugly head and she lost, or is lost.

So what do I do? I really not inclined to her help after all the pain she caused me or our children. What do you guys (and gals) think?

Tough situation Steve989. What sort of help is she asking for?

I'm all in favor of being loving and forgiving and I understand that she was a victim of covert mind control and you and your kids were secondary victims. Everyone got hurt.

Sometimes being loving means helping people, even those who have harmed us. Sometimes the loving thing to do is to allow people to face the consequences of their actions. Knowing that she was not responsible for the brainwashing makes it all the more confusing.

Hi Steve,

I'd say unless and until she can articulate how and why she was harmed by this group and her involvement with them, I wouldn't let her near me. Rescuing her will save her from having to face the destruction and the humiliation that may give her the impetus to deprogram herself. If you've read through some of the long and involved ordeals that most have gone through to get the thing out of their systems, you know how hard it is. More than anything else, these groups turn their most ardent fans into users. I'd say she's barely had a glimpse of reality, from your description, and she's just looking for someone to use or a soft spot to land. I could be wrong about this but my instinct says leave her alone for a good long while, if not for ever. (Apart from anything to do with Landmark, I can't tell you how many women I've known who "accidentally" got pregnant or decided having a baby was a good way to "lock in" a relationship or some "security." Bad, bad, bad move. What do you imagine she was thinking?)


Best to you,

Ellen

Hi Steve,

I think an important question to ask is this:

Has your wife turned to you because her failed relationship and pregnancy has left her feeling she has nowhere else to turn, or has she looked at the failures in her life and identified the PSI way as the reason for them?

Has she asked, regarding PSI: "How is this working for me?" and then answered the question truthfully.

If she is still unwilling to [b:056a764583]get real [/b:056a764583] about PSI, she is [b:056a764583]not ready[/b:056a764583] to heal herself and your family.

Unless she is willing to get professional help, working with you and your family, you will likely experience more problems and pain.

We know that the beautiful person you married lies within her and that person will emerge, or want to emerge, at some time.

It will be a particularly devastating experience for her when she agrees to and follows through on working through the effects PSI has had on her life and those people affected by her actions. She will need very loving, gentle support.

She has to totally commit to seeing the process through, however.

You need to be sure she is committed to doing that. If she is not committed to it, then she needs to deal with the consequences of her actions until she is willing to admit the truth about PSI to herself.

She needs to join the dots and see where PSI thinking caused her to cross healthy boundaries she wouldn't have crossed without applying PSI's twisted ways.

Spoon-feeding her the answers doesn't mean she accepts them. She needs to find them and she needs to break away from them herself.

A person cannot heal without admitting to and identifying the problem that exists.

It is a cruel and harsh path to wholeness for those close to people who have been misled in this way. It takes unbelievable patience, strength, and willingness to look past the external actions of those who have hurt others so much to see the damaged person inside, and then be willing to help that person that has hurt us.

The decision you need to make is not an easy one because it carries so many ramifications for so many people, especially with children being involved.

I commend you for having stood strong in the truth for over three years of what has no doubt been an incredibly difficult time.

My hope for you and your family is that the turning point has been reached.

Good luck.

Brad69,

Your words to Steve hold alot of emotional health, stability, empathy, and compassion.

I appreciated your words for my situation with my marriage failing from Klemmer & Associates influence upon my wifes life.

She like the many others on this website has chosen to use LGAT philosphy to file for divorce after promising me she would give professional marriage counseling a chance to save our marriage.

Thanks to Klemmer & Associates she flipped and cemented in not wanting to give our marriage a chance to be reconciled period.

I just got the divorce papers legally served to me Saturday night.

Your words of encouragement have been heard by me in my situation as well.

Thanks.

Hi Brad, Thank you for your response.

I have no idea what motivated my ex-wife to contact me after this length of time; other than the fact she is pregnant and has nowhere to turn. She threw away most of the relationships she had prior to PSI. As for looking at the failures in her life I don’t she has even considered it. She still has that "goofy" expression that I call the "Universe is right in the world" look I've come to associate with her involvement with PSI.

I totally agree with you on the fact she needs to "get real" with herself; but I don’t see that right now. I think she is using me as a fallback position. She picked up the kids from school today and dropped them off with my mother. This is the first time in several months that this happen. My mother called me at work and told me that girls were very happy as their mother told them that 'we were getting back together" and were going to be a family again. Of course I was not happy about that as I do not want to rush/return to another relationship with a woman who has lost part of her mind to a group like this and not having the fortitude to see this for what it was. My daughters are very young and do did not understand the problem. She gave no thought as to what could happen if her return does not work out. They only see their mother returning to the family.

How am I going to explain to them that their mother threw away the family in the first place, only to take up with another man and his family, only to have him threw her away when he finds out that she is pregnant. (Nice guy huh?) Then I have to consider the fact I might end up being the bad guy in all of this when I refuse to help her. I have to consider what this is going to do to my daughters. The ramifications are very dire and I fear I will not be up to it.

Quote
Steve989

My mother called me at work and told me that girls were very happy as their mother told them that 'we were getting back together" and were going to be a family again. Of course I was not happy about that as I do not want to rush/return to another relationship with a woman who has lost part of her mind to a group like this and not having the fortitude to see this for what it was. My daughters are very young and do did not understand the problem. She gave no thought as to what could happen if her return does not work out. They only see their mother returning to the family.

Yikes!

This is either cunning and manipulative or really, really stupid.

I'd be very angry either way.

The major problem with these types of programs is that their followers become so self-centered they do not even consider the lives and the feelings of others or they learn to consider other people as mere extensions of themselves. It seems to me that if you give in to her it will only confirm her own beliefs that SHE is in the power position and able to manipulate the world to accommodate her will thus reinforcing the stuff she learned within the cult. Sad situation.


Ellen

Steve,

It sounds bad. I'm in something similar with my sister. After going through an lgat she treated me badly during one of the worst times in my life. I took a couple years of abuse before coming to my senses and ending the relationship. I warned her that it was coming and I told her why, but it did not matter to her. She had a new "family" and new "friends" in the lgat. And she was very busy recruiting.

Now, several years later, she misses me and wants me back. I have told her of my concerns and fears of reconciling. She knows how badly I was hurt by her during her involvement with the lgat. I have tried and tried and tried, all in vain, to tell her what I've learned about lgats (incidentally, *I* am the one who recruited her into it!!!). She disputes everything I say, nevermind that she does so from a position of TOTAL IGNORANCE about psychological manipulation. She now says that I am being mind controlled by this board! She twists everything back around, just like she did in the lgat.

Bottom line, I don't feel safe with her and don't know when/if I will - unless she faces what the lgat did to her and to our relationship. As I read about your situation I thought about your wife entering into exit counseling. I made that suggestion to my sister, telling her it's the only way I would consider reconciliation. She's wary of deprogramming (I sugggested Steve Hassan, and I also suggested just hearing him out at first re psychological persuasion; she said he's biased and will see mind control where it's not), but wasn't wary of the lgat con artists!! I told her that if she is not programmed, which she is sure she is not, then there is nothing to fear in talking to Steve.

Anyway, that's my thought. If your wife is truly intent on reuniting with you, what if you agreed to consider it [i:a7b1091a5a]on the condition that she undergo deprogramming[/i:a7b1091a5a]? Have you told her that she's a very different person? Does she seem to have ANY awareness of it? That's what scares me about my sister, she denies that she was changed by the lgat.

All the best to you,
skeptic

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Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/10/2013 08:39PM by rrmoderator.

It is very disturbing that your ex told your kids you are getting back together.

I think skeptic's idea that this could be an opening for an intervention is a good one. I think Mr. Ross does LGAT deprograming also. You might want to look at his information on intervention if you have not done so already. He says often it is better to not give the person advance notice of the intervention. An intervention might be the best help you could give.

Skeptic, Elena, and Question Lady, thanks for your responses.

I talked to my daughters last night and confirmed what was said. I know their young and maybe they might have misunderstood what was said, but I believed it was said.

I called my ex-wife and talked to her about what she told the kids and she denied she said anything of the kind; she seemed to dismiss what was said as the overactive imagination of two small children. I firmly believe she is lying.

I also attempted to talk to her about her involvement with PSI and if she is still involved. She denies still that PSI did not have an influence over her. I told her of information I found on this group and she said what I found was still ‘bullshit.” There is no change within her; I still see the self centered woman who came back from PSI7 three years ago.

I think it would be in my best interest to remove myself as her fallback person. I have no interest in helping her with her problems; thereby causing more for myself and my children. Really, why should I help her raise another mans child? I just hope to God that my kids can get through this. Actually I hope and pray she sees the light one day; but I don’t think that day is going to be here any time soon.