Jeri,

At the time that you were aloof, unkind, cold and disconnected, did you think that's how you were, or did you think you were transformed and enlightened? I've been trying to tell my sister that she was cold and unkind after her lgat experience but she says that's not how she felt.

skeptic

To answer your question; I felt invigorated. I noticed a change in my attitude towards my husband, my family and friends. I felt like I had been transformed and enlightened to the point I was walking around with my nose in the air thinking my shit didn’t stink. If someone didn’t agree with me and my new “attitude” I simply threw that relationship away. I felt that the people outside my PSI7 group were my true friends. If the people I tried to recruit didn’t attend at least the basic I felt they were the ones throwing their relationship with me away and being unsupportive. Nothing was good enough.

I told my husband that in order to save our marriage he would have to attend the basic. When he said no I was angry at him for not wanting to support me in my need to have him attend. I saw that since he didn’t want to attend he really didn’t love me and I left him believing that. If the people who say they love you don’t attend the seminars they are holding you back, don’t really love you, so you need to leave them behind.

God, thinking about this made me cry. My husband was a good and caring man and I threw him away like he was nothing more than dirt. And he deserved better than that.

Thanks, Jeri, and I'm sorry about what happened. Is PSI the one you did? A friend of mine who went through CONtext (the one I went through) later did PSI and told me they're virtually the same. UGH!

So, you felt invigorated and enlightened, not cold, aloof, unkind, disconnected? This is more of the lgat LIE: one is not aware that how one feels is incongruent with how one behaves. The very nature of the scam is that you cannot even be aware; in fact, you think you are opposite how you are! It's NUTS! However, you are now aware of the incongruency. My sister is not. It seems that she never will be aware, and I think that is because the lgat got too deep into her.

My sister, after several years of my trying to get through, now concedes that due to influence from the lgat she was cold and harsh with me. However, she goes to every length to defend the lgat, and rather than see the truth - that the very nature of the lgat material causes a person to be cold and cut off - she attributes her behavior to misuse of the "teachings", to our childhood, to this, to that.

She will only allow herself to see the most superficial view of the lgat. She has now acknowledged that she was influenced but she can't that she was turned into an asshole in six short days. She says that she's always changing and trying new things, AS IF SHE DECIDED IN SIX DAYS TO BECOME A HEARTLESS ROBOT. Yeh, right! They really got her programmed real good. I think she's lost to the lie forever.

skeptic

Hi Jeri, I can relate to this, it sounds like me:

Quote

I felt invigorated. I noticed a change in my attitude towards my husband, my family and friends. I felt like I had been transformed and enlightened to the point I was walking around with my nose in the air thinking my shit didn’t stink.

..except that I also I remember I felt lonely, I felt like I HAD left them behind. One of my friends said it was like I was on the other side of a wall, and that was how it felt to me too. I wanted them to also do the training so that I could be 'close' to them again and also because I wanted them to feel as invigorated as I did. But then some of my family did do the training and it didn't bring them closer, it was as if they also jumped over a wall, but a different one.

Skeptic, did you and your sister go through CONtext at the same time, on the same courses? Or did one of you go through first and recruit the other?

Hi SaneAgain,

I went through CONtext first and my sister was my (ONE) successful recruitment attempt . . . UGH. We didn't do any courses together. She took the intro course during my first few months of involvement but it didn't hook her, she didn't take the next two courses, as I did (course #3 was the recruitment course).

Fast forward six years - she took their newest course which I had taken a few months prior (and maybe I kind of recruited her again, I don't remember, but since she'd had a good experience at the intro course getting her to go again wasn't a problem).
A few months after I took it, about the time she took it, our father died. His death is what jolted me out of the trance. I started to see serious problems with the ideology I'd been trying to live by for six years. My sister, meanwhile, was high as a kite.

I attempted many discussions with her about my newfound thoughts and she would not hear anything resembling criticism of the lgat. That was opposite the sister I used to have, as we would analyze and critique and discuss anything, anytime. It was one of our favorite activities. Suddenly, she had shut me out. Her behavior was a painful and graphic illustration of the very things I was starting to see were wrong with the ideology. Things between us got really ugly, then finally broke all the way down and I decided, for my health, to terminate our destructive and broken relationship.

I'm still furious as hell at Randy Revell for his destructive lgat. He's dead now, and somehow my sister seems to think that because he's dead he's no longer influencing her!

skeptic

p.s. that's more information than you asked for - LOL

Skeptic, that's really dreadful, especially since it sounds you were good friends and close before. Do you think its possible that she used CONtext ideology to help her cope with your dad dying, and now its all tangled up? So the same way his dying jolted you out of it, maybe it jolted her more into it? May I ask, how long ago did this happen?

Quote

..except that I also I remember I felt lonely, I felt like I HAD left them behind. One of my friends said it was like I was on the other side of a wall, and that was how it felt to me too. I wanted them to also do the training so that I could be 'close' to them again and also because I wanted them to feel as invigorated as I did. But then some of my family did do the training and it didn't bring them closer, it was as if they also jumped over a wall, but a different one.

Exactly how I felt. I felt like I left them behind and tried to force them into taking the PSI Basic. I did manage to recruit a few friends but found they moved on to their own PSI groups and wouldn't, or couldn't make the time for me. It was like you got them to go and they suddenly turned their backs on you because they had the mentality of the group they were involved in. (Does that make sense?) They stress that once your involved with PSI you're all "brothers and sisters" but it doesn't work out that way.

I also found out that one of the woman I recruited a couple of years ago had a nervous breakdown a few months ago and had to take six months off from work. She is currently seeing a doctor. I feel so badly about this all.

I wished I had never heard of PSI Seminars.

Jeri, I think you're right, we all just bond (falsely) with our own groups and it doesn't bring us any closer to people on the outside, whether they also did the training or not. That's why I don't think its worthwhile for spouses and partners to go off and do the training just to try to save the marriage, it just creates another set of intimacy outside the marriage instead of within it.

The sickening thing is that the trainers know this. On quest they always insisted people in a relationship should do the training together and if one did it before the other, then they should assist on the other one's course. So they know exactly how damaging this all is to relationships; they use the phrases about being left behind and its true, that's what happens, except its not left 'behind' its just left 'out'.

If you have any way of contacting the woman who had a breakdown and if you're up to it, it could be very helpful to her if you send her some information from this site on breakdowns. If you do a search on keywords like 'psychosis' and 'panic' and 'anxiety' and 'hospital' you should find a lot of info, or use more specific words depending on what her exact symptoms were.

The worst thing about a breakdown is not knowing what happened or why, finding information on this site was a real life-saver for me. Maybe this woman had other reasons but there is a good chance PSI was a huge contributing factor, if not the complete cause.

She may not want to speak to you or may reject the information at first, but it might still help, and it may ease your conscience - not that I think you should have a bad conscience, not at all. I don't mean to sound like a preacher, but I really don't think you should blame yourself or feel too guilty about things you did in good faith, with good intentions, with the best knowledge you had at the time.

And what about you, have you yourself not suffered enough from all this already? The responsibility lies with the trainers and owners, who are fully aware of the potential dangers of their courses and just carry on regardless, and who are the ones who profit from it, both financially and in terms of their delusions of grandeur and power-lust. Anyway, I have found your posts here very helpful and I'm sure a lot of other people have too, so I hope that is maybe enough to enable you to forgive yourself, even if only a little. Sorry again for preaching ... :)

Quote

And what about you, have you yourself not suffered enough from all this already? The responsibility lies with the trainers and owners, who are fully aware of the potential dangers of their courses and just carry on regardless, and who are the ones who profit from it, both financially and in terms of their delusions of grandeur and power-lust. Anyway, I have found your posts here very helpful and I'm sure a lot of other people have too, so I hope that is maybe enough to enable you to forgive yourself, even if only a little. Sorry again for preaching ..

After all that has happened I think I deserve what I get. This has caused me so much pain that I sometimes feel like I'll never recover. I have good days and bad. I miss the life I had with my first husband. I know even if I could find him that it wouldn't work; I only want to tell him I'm sorry.

As for my friend her ex-husband told me about Alice and her breakdown. She ruined her marriage too. In the short time after her return from PSI7 she left and divorced her husband; she lost her mother to cancer, then found out she has cancer herself. She figured she had the power to change the things in her life for the better and when they didn't work out she was driven into a deep depression. Now I know that my recruiting her into PSI was not the reason for her mothers death or her getting cancer, but I do feel that if I had never interfered in her life and got her to go to PSI she would have had her husband, family and friends, in her life to support when she needs it the most. Now she has no one.

Maybe someday I can forgive myself for this, but it's not going to be anytime soon.