Quote
dazedandconfused
These are my experiences only.
My experience of being in a relationship with someone extremely immersed in TIT is hell. The fact that they learned accountability and how to coach go against eachother. Since being in the training I have never had a discussion with another member of TIT that has been accountable. If something were to happen that 'didn't work' and I approached the other being 'accountable' for my part they would use their vocabulary to say, "What's coming up for you?" or "I guess this looks like your history but it's really not". Get two people in TIT that are in a love relationship together and you can see how many just belittle and stay unaccountable by coaching eachother. It turns into a sickness. When you finally break free you can see how hard it is to be in a relationship that is based on being right. I've seen it continue to where the children in these families have learned how to turn it around and blame their parents when they have made a hard choice and coach them. It is really quite sad the sickness that corrupts the mind after being so trained.
Also the morality issue.
Haven't you heard that Hans and Sally are the new moral authority?
At least that's what I've been told..
Couples & Commitment....the training that keeps bad marriages going for way too long until someone finally cheats on the other with some other soul-mate in the training or leaves.
Two people can remain unaccountable by coaching each other, very true. If you have two people who are utterly convinced that they are clear all the time, they will invariably seek loopholes and outs in accountability EVEN AS THEY CLAIM ACCOUNTABILITY (hey, it is BUILT into the terminally flawed system), in the end you get something like dazedandconfused described. Two assertive people rarely can stay together once they take the training.
OR
If one person is passive and the other is aggressive, you will find that one dominates through "honest and unconditionally loving" coaching and feedback and the passive one continually internalizes it, knowing they are accountable and the coacher is well, not right, but YES, RIGHT, it is continually all their fault, and they will, well, not try, but in reality, YES, TRY to do better. After all, we say we love each other and are honest, so their continued life crushing domination through coaching is OK. Spousal abuse finds yet another form built into the Impact ethic...
OR
you get two passive people (God save them) who are so accountable for everything, nothing changes. They are so passive and so meek, together they are utterly useless. I remember a particular couple in TIT3 that was incomprehensibly dense, sappy as a pair of pancakes and absolutely oblivious...
Infidelity breeds and thrives in this kind of sick environment. I know this may be a bit off topic, but so many trainees and trainers think they are only accountable to themselves, after all, if you ARE god, why give your power away to anyone? The reality, if you think you are accountable only to yourself and you are a horrible person, you become a monster. Lip service to commitment and keeping your word is all the rage over there. It is due to this inconsistency: You go through the training learning to be honest and accountable, right? But you are ALWAYS being accountable to the trainers. ALWAYS. That behavior becomes reinforced, and they want you to continue to be accountable to them so they can monitor and watch your behavior. After all, you can trust them right? You think you have had this boundary breaking, intense experience of unconditional, universal love and acceptance, right? So why not enroll, right? Why not ignore all of the logical contradictions, right? That is just your ego mind, right? God doesn't work in logic, and mathematics and logic haven't proved that contradictions are impossibilities BY DEFINITION, RIGHT? After all, Impact sites scientific examples to further prove their ideas and theories right? It MUST be your ego mind that tells you that they only use examples that serve their own interests, purposes and points of view, ignoring all of the other BOUNTIFUL examples from those sciences that conflict and outright DENY the KEY POINTS of the FOUNDATION for their entire bullcrap, pocket-picking CON. Good thing you have that ego mind to tell you when you are wrong, right? Oh, wait. Right and Wrong don't exist....