Quote
vlinden
However, I am very tired and stressed out from everything I've been through, and as a therapist I think you could have a bit more understanding as to how your original comment to me would put me totally on the defensive.
Vlinden, yeah you have been through a lot.
You're forgetting...so have I.
LE took someone really important away from me, a week after she finalized K-1 Visa paperwork. I live with this EVERY single day, and I educate my clients to AVOID these LGATs at all costs. I've had to do therapy with LE casualties. LE has unfortunately pervaded into my work, so as to I must educate clients as much as I can. I was hoping work would be my cocoon from LE.
Work was the only solace I had before LE. It was the only safe and healthy, helping, healing place I knew...and what I'm doing feels pure.
I have to say this: you got out of the relationship at a really good place, even though it hurts. My ex left me for full-time ILP overnight. I didn't have the luxury of closure. Just a big gap of "WHAT IF?"
What if I hadn't paid for her ticket to the US, and she wouldn't have had the money for the SELP?
What if I could have met her in London and gotten her out while she was just post-Forum?
I'm left with pain, the pain of knowing I was there for someone, helping them through homesickness and loneliness, to be dropped for a corporation in turn. With no thanks.
The crying? Six months later and it hasn't stopped.
Someone says the words "thank you for sharing" and my anger rises. I hear the word "possibilities" and see red.
What we have here at RR is Recovery. I'm glad to count Z as a friend who has worked on recovery from this with me, as a friend and otherwise. People here have helped me, and yes, I am wary of new people...almost as wary as oldtimers who see a newcomer enter a 12-step program. Is it safe? Will we all stay healthy as a unit?
And I didn't even do anything LE related, but I'm grateful for these people. They didn't have to help. I'm the only one in a very large area that knows anything about LGATs, and I hope to specialise in exit counseling in a few years.
When I'm off the clock, I'm not wearing a therapist hat. I'll talk theory, but otherwise, I'm here for recovery.
Take care and good night.