Nettie your writing is very well done and on the mark, reading it brought back many memories. Particularly as I started volunteering then did ILP and then went on staff.
The highs and lows are so connected and keep you connected to landmark. YOu go on a course, get coaching or what ever and you are on a high, you achieve "the miraculous", then things stop going so well... you fall back to earth which in sted of looking normal looks horendous so you get coaching and you get back on a high. This is extreemly addictive.
I am often ashamed at the manipulating I did on staff. the times I used the lines like "you are not being your word" and lets look at your Integrity.
The leader asked her if she really believed that's what she was being asked to do - implying she, and everyone else, had misunderstood. You could feel the sense of confusion in the room. Here they were telling us about enrolling all our friends, knowing everyone was thinking they were being asked to sell LE, but then they did an about face and said we all misunderstood, and then their definition of enrolling (touch, move and inspire others by your transformation) was introduced.
Hope this is very much a deliberate move so that they can say they are not encouraging people to register their friends, its a very covert way of getting the same results and in fact I understand it did alot better because people didn't think they were being pressured even though they were