Relationships with Sterling Men
Date: November 12, 2007 03:29AM
I recently broke up with a man who I discovered was deeply involved in the Sterling Men/ Sterling Institute of Relationships after a couple of months of dating. He appears to also be involved in several similar cult-like groups and organizations throughout the Western United States (-- the names of which I unfortunately do not know). Like most people who have posted their bad experiences with Sterlingites and the Organization on-line, I feel a variety of residual emotions ranging from sorrow, vulnerability, and disbelief to anger and disgust. I have also spent a lot of time on the internet searching for answers, trying to get a better understanding of exactly what I have just lived through. For better or worse, this has been a life-changing experience that has opened my eyes to a reality that previously I did not know existed.
One thing that I have been looking for online and have yet to find is women's experiences "in bed" with Sterling Men. For the sake of discretion and keeping this forum clean, I will only say that, of the many men I have had sex with over my lifetime, this man was by far the most sexually violent of all. He also had several strange proclivities and behaviors that I have never before encountered in a mate. At the time, I honestly felt I was falling in love with him, but I also felt debased and threatened by his aggression, and I was worried what his limits might be, or if he had any limits. (In addition to his cult activities, he also claims to be a hypnotist, which is what I'd like to attribute my temporary loss of sanity to.)
What I'd like to know is if more women have experienced extreme sexual aggression from Sterling Men, or if this is an isolated incident. My knowledge of my ex-boyfriend's involvement with the Sterling Men came shortly after we became intimate. Once I became aware of the Sterling misogynistic world view, I instantly saw his behavior in bed in a much darker context (and never had sex with him again). I'm concerned that sexual violence is something that is promoted by the Organization, and that women are just too embarrassed to talk about this painful aspect of their failed relationships with Sterling Men. It is very difficult for me to admit to having been complicit in my own debasement, which is why they sometimes call it "sexual abuse," I guess. Beyond my own embarrassment, however, I think it's really important to get this topic out there for discussion. If it turns out that my experience was not just an isolated event, then there is something even more serious and f-ed up going on with the Sterling Institute of Relationships than has yet to be exposed. I am deeply worried about any women who may be currently involved with men who feel as though Justin Sterling has given them license to become abusers. If these types of groups are actively condoning sexual violence, then there needs to be a major awareness campaign out there to protect women.