thanks i just couldn't sustain all the tension i was feeling,
yes it hurts, but not having to see him sneak out to his car or get a call reminding him
to attend a meeting 10 min before it begins when i know all they've done is talk on the phone to plan they're next meeting daily for a week is too much for me. i feel like i can actually get some sleep for the first time in weeks

When you come crashing down emotionally, don't forget that we're all here. This may be a speed bump in life, but it's only a speed bump.

John

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Nancy Drew
Maybe it was just the guy -- it was at least partially the guy because he is still responsible for his own actions to some degree, but I've read enough tid bits in other people's posts to see some uncanny similarities in behavior and to get a better understanding of the philosophies that would condone emotional cruelty and physical violence towards women if interpreted to their extreme -- Men are "jerks" and that's just the way it is according to Justin Sterling, right?

I read your initial query "aggressive sex", etc. I have to wonder if men (or women) who have that bent are drawn to this type of group. What your asking isn't something I have come across...yet...in my snooping around. I do believe that a man who is Chauvinistic and 'old school' (keep them barefoot and pregnant) would probably see a lot of support for his theories in a group like this. So far what I am 'hearing' from girl that wanted me to look into this is a lot of golden words. Always this guy has the right words at the right time. I don't think it is all a snowjob either but I think he is young and this group seems really solid to him. He does by the way have a good relationship with his family and is well liked by many people.

Maybe he is one who will take the good and leave the rest..??

And what is all this I keep hearing about 'Hating your Mother'. Everything I have read about the Sterling weekend/ Point Team garbage mention it.

At the end of the day I am afraid I am completely lost. This all sounds weird, harmless, and inane not to mention silly. How can it feel like all those things ????

hattah:

Not "harmless."

I have received very serious complaints.

One man told NBC News he had a mental breakdown after a Sterling seminar weekend for the stress imposed.

Others have complained that relationships, marriages were destroyed.

Not at all "silly."

I consider the group potentially destructive.

yes, destructive...............that's why i can't figure out what possessed my guy. he's not violent or destructive, and very masculine, i feel like i'm completely lost, did i ever know him?

i do know this: he never went to any of the pre meetings, just the nice nice fire meeting, not the crazy recruitement thing and didn't receice the "letter of commitment" or of course ANY SPECIFICS

thanks to his brother.

ok, but what happened on that weekend to attract him to further this? he says he's learning so much about himself, bad and good, and he's leaving the "horrible stuff" as he calls it right there, meaning it's not affecting him. but i wonder

Just a side note ... haven't had time to go back and check, but I think there has been discussion of homosexual behaviour as part of some of these weekends. I think it's a Sterling thing. By all means correct me if I am wrong. (So many groups ... so little time ...)

Anyway, picking up on the "hating your mother" angle mentioned just above, this sort of thing (abnormal relationship with your mother) will help to swing the psychological / emotional pendulum of your core identity in the other direction. Hence it would then serve to make it easier for same sex behaviour to be permissable in the mind of the participant. See here for the background on what I'm talking about.

John

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rrmoderator
hattah:

Not "harmless."

I have received very serious complaints.

One man told NBC News he had a mental breakdown after a Sterling seminar weekend for the stress imposed.

Others have complained that relationships, marriages were destroyed.

Not at all "silly."

I consider the group potentially destructive.

Please understand that I wasn't making light of the issue at all. I find my feelings are confused. Their 'club meetings' sound ridiculous when you remind yourself that they are grown men. War paint, nudity, and running around calling each other 'jerk' sounds so childish...come to think of it I don't even think little boys do that. That is where my feelings of 'how silly' come in.

As to psychological harm it probably depends on the person and the person's mental state to begin with. I tend to think that people who have esteem issues,etc. or like to control others because THEY have esteem issues gravitate toward this type of group. The person that my family member is involved with that belongs to Sons of Maine seems to be intelligent, well spoken, good family relationship, hard worker, student, you name it. And he was all these things BEFORE this weird group thing. So I have no idea what on earth he thought this would add to what he is.
I think that is what I find most disturbing.

If it's not broken why in h*ll is he fixing it?

All I know about Sterling I have read here and a few posts at Factnet.

I am really trying to look at this in a way that doesn't scare me to death. Someone I love very much is close to this man. I am worried but I have no control over these two people and if I push it I am going to lose. Guaranteed.

You have to know that I am pretty freaked out and would like to say a lot more than I have. But as I said it is a small group and I know they probably are well aware of Ross and Factnet and I have seen some troll-like posts here and there on the internet. It wouldn't take much snooping for anyone to figure things out.

And at the same time I don't know why I am so paranoid. Not like they are going to knock me over the head and throw me in the bushes. But there it is.

Once a person learns the truth about the Sterling Men and other men's "empowerment" groups, I think paranoia is a reasonable, normal consequence. They are to society what potentially harmful bacteria is to our drinking water... Anyway, people can be unpredictable, so who knows what an unstable person is capable of doing once a group like this fills their head with a bunch of malarkey? The paranoia that has arisen out of my own personal experience extends to the point where I believe that there is much, much more insidious stuff going on with the Sterling Men than we on the outside are aware of. The guy I dated was high up in the Sterling organization, traveling all over the country to find recruits and to volunteer at gatherings; he had no real job that I could tell, so I assume he was doing all this work on the company's dime. Although seeming perfectly normal and charming at first, over a short period of time he proved himself to be a complete "piece of work." believing in everything from reincarnation and past life regression to extraterrestrial intervention on earth, Native American spiritualism, and absolutely every New Age philosophy in between. He also claimed to be a hypnotist, as well as a life coach to some unnamed but very "wealthy," "powerful" and "well-known" clients. But, even before I even became aware that he was deep into an organization I had never heard of before called the Sterling Men, I was aware of a strong gut feeling that -- despite seeming like the best guy I'd ever met, something was horribly wrong. Although he seemed perfectly wonderful, I wondered why I felt like my friends and family wouldn't like him, and I made a point of mentioning jokingly to a few key people that if I was ever found wandering around beat-up, naked and confused somewhere, or even dead, that it was probably him. I was joking on the surface, but I wouldn't actually joke about something that serious if I didn't think it was an actual possibility, and he did in fact turn out to be violent and controlling during the brief period leading up to me dumping him. Fortunately, I got out of the relationship soon enough that I never got seriously injured... So, all I'm saying is that paranoia is a completely normal response to learning about this type of group. People should be very careful when dealing with members of this organization because no one really knows what they are capable of and how far they will go (individually or as a group) to protect their overblown masculine egos.

WOW

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John Fox
Just a side note ... haven't had time to go back and check, but I think there has been discussion of homosexual behaviour as part of some of these weekends. I think it's a Sterling thing. By all means correct me if I am wrong. (So many groups ... so little time ...)

Anyway, picking up on the "hating your mother" angle mentioned just above, this sort of thing (abnormal relationship with your mother) will help to swing the psychological / emotional pendulum of your core identity in the other direction. Hence it would then serve to make it easier for same sex behaviour to be permissable in the mind of the participant. See here for the background on what I'm talking about.

John

One thing I remember being told is that the MEN (sounds soooo stupid) didn't like gays. But maybe that is a Maine -thing this state is by no means as open to LBGT as others are. No matter what the news papers say. There are too many 'good ol' boys here and Gay is just not something they understand and mostly hate. So like I said I am not getting that impression here but that certainly doesn't go for everywhere.



Nancy Drew I am glad you got away from him. He sounds like bad news. Having been in an abusive marriage at one time I know that sometimes women don't make the choice for freedom. And thanks for being here because there isn't a lot out there about Sterling. :)