Thanks for you post ALongTimeAgo, I'm glad you've found some sense of peace with it all and can move on. I can only really echo what you and others have said here about thinking for yourself and asking questions. I hope that people subject the leaders of the fellowship to as much scrutiny, questions and critical thinking as they subject posts on this forum to.

I found this resource quite interesting. I've read one of his books and found the part on emotional control ringing a few bells -

Manipulate and narrow the range of feelings – some emotions and/or needs are deemed as evil, wrong or selfish
Teach emotion-stopping techniques to block feelings of homesickness, anger, doubt
Make the person feel that problems are always their own fault, never the leader’s or the group’s fault
Promote feelings of guilt or unworthiness, such as:
a. Identity guilt
b. You are not living up to your potential
c. Your family is deficient
d. Your past is suspect
e. Your affiliations are unwise
f. Your thoughts, feelings, actions are irrelevant or selfish
g. Social guilt
f. Historical guilt
Instill fear, such as fear of:
a. Thinking independently
b. The outside world
c. Enemies
d. Losing one’s salvation
e. Leaving or being shunned by the group
f. Other’s disapproval
f. Historical guilt
Extremes of emotional highs and lows – love bombing and praise one moment and then declaring you are horrible sinner
Ritualistic and sometimes public confession of sins
Phobia indoctrination: inculcating irrational fears about leaving the group or questioning the leader’s authority
a. No happiness or fulfillment possible outside of the group
b. Terrible consequences if you leave: hell, demon possession, incurable diseases, accidents, suicide, insanity, 10,000 reincarnations, etc.
c. Shunning of those who leave; fear of being rejected by friends and family
d. Never a legitimate reason to leave; those who leave are weak, undisciplined, unspiritual, worldly, brainwashed by family or counselor, or seduced by money, sex, or rock and roll
e. Threats of harm to ex-member and family

Various other parts; name changes, black and white thinking, "platitudinous buzz words" was a good one. Thinking back to some things like the knitting, "Impose a buddy system to monitor and control member",

Minimize or discourage access to non-cult sources of information, including:
a. Internet, TV, radio, books, articles, newspapers, magazines, media
b. Critical information
c. Former members
d. Keep members busy so they don’t have time to think and investigate

I remember music, tv, books, critical thinking, being discouraged. Not being unequally yolked with unbelievers as they could destabilise, being kept busy. I know that members were told not to come on here too. I hope things have improved for members.

Two really good posts on here by Mork and longtime ago.
The list by Mork resonates with me as among other things kcf tried to put division between me and people I know. I could well imagine they've changed strategies now that things are open for everyone to see. There was a great deal of fear and uncertainty there which is always present in wrong relationships I dont doubt there was love there too but measured and only in certain circumstances. There certainly was a heavy guilt laid on people and we were told there were problems which really were not there at all.Granted I was younger then and didn't realise that other points of view existed and bad things really do happen whether you go to kcf and obey the leaders or not.
Its called life of which the only certainties are death and impermanence and suffering .
By all means stay at kcf not my place to tell you otherwise.
But they have done really bad things and made horrendously bad judgments and hurt many people.
Learn all you can from as many people as you can. Check everything you are told.i dont want to offend by this but dont believe everything you hear dont switch off your god given reason and dont live your life to please any human being. Love the families you have been born to. There may in fact be people who know things that you don't know. Love yourselves sure there are things that need to change but please don't beat yourself up

Good info you shared Mork, this really sums up my experiences
Thought Control
Require members to internalize the group’s doctrine as truth
a. Adopting the group’s ‘map of reality’ as reality
b. Instill black and white thinking
c. Decide between good vs. evil
d. Organize people into us vs. them (insiders vs. outsiders)
Change person’s name and identity
Use of loaded language and clichés which constrict knowledge, stop critical thoughts and reduce complexities into platitudinous buzz words
Encourage only ‘good and proper’ thoughts
Hypnotic techniques are used to alter mental states, undermine critical thinking and even to age regress the member
Memories are manipulated and false memories are created
Teaching thought-stopping techniques which shut down reality testing by stopping negative thoughts and allowing only positive thoughts, including:
a. Denial, rationalization, justification, wishful thinking
b. Chanting
c. Meditating
d. Praying
e. Speaking in tongues
f. Singing or humming
Rejection of rational analysis, critical thinking, constructive criticism
Forbid critical questions about leader, doctrine, or policy allowed
Labeling alternative belief systems as illegitimate, evil, or not useful
Instill new “map of reality”
Emotional Control
Manipulate and narrow the range of feelings – some emotions and/or needs are deemed as evil, wrong or selfish
Teach emotion-stopping techniques to block feelings of homesickness, anger, doubt
Make the person feel that problems are always their own fault, never the leader’s or the group’s fault
Promote feelings of guilt or unworthiness, such as:
a. Identity guilt
b. You are not living up to your potential
c. Your family is deficient
d. Your past is suspect
e. Your affiliations are unwise
f. Your thoughts, feelings, actions are irrelevant or selfish
g. Social guilt
f. Historical guilt
Instill fear, such as fear of:
a. Thinking independently
b. The outside world
c. Enemies
d. Losing one’s salvation
e. Leaving or being shunned by the group
f. Other’s disapproval
f. Historical guilt
Extremes of emotional highs and lows – love bombing and praise one moment and then declaring you are horrible sinner
Ritualistic and sometimes public confession of sins
Phobia indoctrination: inculcating irrational fears about leaving the group or questioning the leader’s authority
a. No happiness or fulfillment possible outside of the group
b. Terrible consequences if you leave: hell, demon possession, incurable diseases, accidents, suicide, insanity, 10,000 reincarnations, etc.
c. Shunning of those who leave; fear of being rejected by friends and family
d. Never a legitimate reason to leave; those who leave are weak, undisciplined, unspiritual, worldly, brainwashed by family or counselor, or seduced by money, sex, or rock and roll
e. Threats of harm to ex-member and family

I found quite an interesting writeup of The Last Battle and the spiritual abuse that CS Lewis writes about. I can remember reading the Narnia books as a child but all of this is hazy in the memory now. A few things stood out for me but the whole article is worth a read.

"1. Shift disguises spiritual abuse as something noble and beautiful... In all of this, Shifts argument is, “What if we took the place of Aslan to get what we want?” Spiritual abusers place themselves in the position of God. Spiritual abusers make it seem like they’re doing some sort of service by abusing people.

2. Shift calls evil good and good evil... Abusers and manipulators will often wear their victims down, teaching them never to go against the word of the abuser... The abuser becomes the arbiter of reality, the only one who can discern what is good and what is evil.

3. Shift equates his own desires with Aslan’s. Spiritual abusers will often conflate their own desires with God’s. “To please Shift is to please Aslan.” God seems to always want what the abuser wants. In time the victims come to realize that if they really want to be good people then they need to cave to the abuser… no matter the cost to themselves.

4. Shift sets himself up as the only trustworthy “translator” of Aslan’s words and desires. He becomes the mediator between God and others, the spokesperson... the abuser needs to be the voice that others listen to, not just one among many. If you’ve ever been in a religious community where the minister or pastor or priest or rabbi or imam has the final word in everything, beware. If they can’t be questioned, are never wrong, are protected by the people around them, be careful.

5. The abuser is set on a pedestal, idolized... With spiritual abuse it’s common that the abuser sets themselves up to be not just the voice of God, but a sort of exceptional person you should feel honored to be in relationship with. They’re not like you and I. Because they’re exceptional, well, there should be some exceptions. The abuser is someone special, world class, an amazing person… and if they hurt us occasionally along the way, well, I’m sure they didn’t mean to do that, and “if you speak up no one will believe you” (or so they say).

6. Those who oppose Shift’s message are dismissed with public cruelty...Shift doesn’t even answer the question, he just calls the lamb names: “Baby! Silly little bleater! Go home to your mother and drink milk. What do you understand of such things?” It’s a classic manipulation technique. Why answer a question when a forceful, haughty, dismissive attack will change the topic?

7. Unquestioning obedience becomes the hallmark of religious devotion.. It’s not about what anyone wants except Shift. Where Jesus said he had come to set the captives free, or that those who he sets free will be “free indeed,” Shift says true freedom comes from embracing the slavery he has demanded. Obedience is the highest virtue, and it has best be done without questions.

8. Shift makes others his accomplices in abuse... Strong manipulators and experienced abusers will often build a team of unwitting or unaware accomplices... There are people who were never abused themselves who functioned as a sort of safety valve for the abuser, because when someone came to them they would say, “Oh no, he could never be an abuser because he’s never been that way with me.”

9. He twists theology to mean something opposite of what it means. “Not a tame lion” has become an excuse for evil being done in the name of Aslan.

10. God is made in the image of the abuser...But what we see in abusers is that they find themselves, eventually, unable or unwilling to fit into the mold of the good follower of the Deity, and so they need to change our conception of God to match their behavior. God becomes distant, or cold, or demanding, or judgmental, or angry, or difficult to please, because that is who our abuser is, and the abuser requires us to see the abuser as God or at least god-like... Say “Aslan” all you want, but if you are bringing slavery, chains, pain, or hurt, this is not service to Aslan and never could be."

Exactly!!
Very good and very apt for kcf,well certainly when I frequented the gaff anyway.
How could we have believed the absolute rubbish that we were told to imbibe.
And that there were people exactly human like you and me that had "special insight and peculiar revelations and dreams".i Remember they said there were demons everywhere even in certain cats(new members yes,really!!!)
As a young person,at the time ,these anointed special one's were very scary and creepy who wanted to know even what went on in your home your parents etc.
And seemed very interested in peoples sex lives. I was warned be careful what you say especially around the old ones who are mostly still lurking around. But on occasion spurned their wise counsel to my own detriment!!
Oh yes they are very much involved with younger kids now but for a reason. Maybe when we come across them openly we should ask them to answer a few questions about the abuse we suffered.
The memories on hear that I remember are horrific. If you did not inflict these abuses or took part in them you have nothing to worry about!!

Ahhh I thought the cats were prophetic, was it demonic frogs? Cats vs frogs, who is better, theres only one way to find out...

Quote
I can see
How could we have believed the absolute rubbish that we were told to imbibe.

Remember when we used to sing the same part of a song over and over and over (and over) again? Gosh, I thought it would never end sometimes. I was never sure what we were aiming for, with vague explainations like "We aren't there yet" and something about reaching a higher place? This kind of repetition is used in brainwashing with research showing that "the persistent repetition of short intonations is designed to become mind-numbing, eliminating logical thinking and inducing a trance state. Heightened suggestibility is a feature of such a state".

"Psychologists Linda Dubrow-Marshall and Steve Eichel have studied how “being subjected to repeated and prolonged hypnotic inductions can impair the convert’s ability to make decisions and evaluate new information,” adding that “continuous lectures, singing and chanting are employed by most cults, and serve to alter awareness.” In this way, hypnosis through chanting is a tool used by cult leaders to erode critical thinking abilities rather than for meditative purposes." Scary stuff.

Oh I certainly do remember the mind numbing muzak! And you're right there has been studies on this.
I remember the frogs too. But there was one of the old teachers there who was gifted in discerning cats. One lady there wasn't too pleased that her cat had a demon according to the old buffers discernment.
The teacher there was particularly sneaky sneaky and her husband too. All they ever wanted was leadership even moved from a desirable property to well you know where to be near where the action was and mostly to be near their idolised leader. Sad really.
Most of the fellowship had cats because of the leader. Yes there were a few prophetic episodes involving our purring friends ( yes really). Its all quiet silly really.
I used to feel sorry for the people there but you really have to block out a lot to be able to swallow the daft nonsense served up at kcf.
Dont be dumbed down you can reach a higher place but not necessarily with just the "leaders" point of view and they can really twist scripture to validate their claims which are just that,claims!!

I went to KCF many years ago.
I remeber lots of things being banned.
There were toys banned such as toy frogs. One child that I knew had a toy frog that she had to throw away and it really upset her. Rainbow bright toys and care bears were banned, teletubbies were frowned on.

Music that wasn't christian music was also banned - there was back masking on some of it. I remember one person being frightened to go into a shop because they were playing pop music.

Around the same time, we were all told that christmas trees were pagan and that we should not have them. Years later they were introduced as memory trees - a tree with pieces of card with scriptures or things that had happened that had blessed people. More and more decorations were hung on them and they gradually became christmas trees.

At a later date teachings were introduced about the great god education, she said that people were putting their education and doing courses before God. Cheryl Doyle also talked about the great god entertainment and said similar things about different types of entertainment.

Although this was many years ago, and people that go to KCF say that things have really changed now - children that still go who were brought up with all this are leders there now. People who were trained by Cheryl Dole are still in leadership there. What impact has all had on them??? Do they still believe all the rubbish that we were taught??

In small independant churches there is no accountability. If the leaders are teaching wrong and damaging things who can you go to?? If someone in leadership does something wrong - again who is there to go to??? How is it dealt with ??



Some of the things that have been posted on this site have been really helpful. I thank you guys for all the research you have done to help others

peace to all
Iamfree

There was and still is another sneaky there.
SR pretended to be mr good two shoes but was a snitch that led a double life
informing on people to curry favour.
Forbid indeed they did but usually the ones that protest the loudest have much to hid.
The main and I mean uber one in charge at the time was a great one for horror movies but scorned care bears haha!

Yes I agree with you there I can see.
SR is a manipulative narcissist yes
and he does lead a double life.
Just saying