Thanks for you post ALongTimeAgo, I'm glad you've found some sense of peace with it all and can move on. I can only really echo what you and others have said here about thinking for yourself and asking questions. I hope that people subject the leaders of the fellowship to as much scrutiny, questions and critical thinking as they subject posts on this forum to.
I found
this resource quite interesting. I've read one of his books and found the part on emotional control ringing a few bells -
Manipulate and narrow the range of feelings – some emotions and/or needs are deemed as evil, wrong or selfish
Teach emotion-stopping techniques to block feelings of homesickness, anger, doubt
Make the person feel that problems are always their own fault, never the leader’s or the group’s fault
Promote feelings of guilt or unworthiness, such as:
a. Identity guilt
b. You are not living up to your potential
c. Your family is deficient
d. Your past is suspect
e. Your affiliations are unwise
f. Your thoughts, feelings, actions are irrelevant or selfish
g. Social guilt
f. Historical guilt
Instill fear, such as fear of:
a. Thinking independently
b. The outside world
c. Enemies
d. Losing one’s salvation
e. Leaving or being shunned by the group
f. Other’s disapproval
f. Historical guilt
Extremes of emotional highs and lows – love bombing and praise one moment and then declaring you are horrible sinner
Ritualistic and sometimes public confession of sins
Phobia indoctrination: inculcating irrational fears about leaving the group or questioning the leader’s authority
a. No happiness or fulfillment possible outside of the group
b. Terrible consequences if you leave: hell, demon possession, incurable diseases, accidents, suicide, insanity, 10,000 reincarnations, etc.
c. Shunning of those who leave; fear of being rejected by friends and family
d. Never a legitimate reason to leave; those who leave are weak, undisciplined, unspiritual, worldly, brainwashed by family or counselor, or seduced by money, sex, or rock and roll
e. Threats of harm to ex-member and family
Various other parts; name changes, black and white thinking, "platitudinous buzz words" was a good one. Thinking back to some things like the knitting, "Impose a buddy system to monitor and control member",
Minimize or discourage access to non-cult sources of information, including:
a. Internet, TV, radio, books, articles, newspapers, magazines, media
b. Critical information
c. Former members
d. Keep members busy so they don’t have time to think and investigate
I remember music, tv, books, critical thinking, being discouraged. Not being unequally yolked with unbelievers as they could destabilise, being kept busy. I know that members were told not to come on here too. I hope things have improved for members.