Dear Ataloss,
In my day, I have been involved to one extent or another in three different cults, and I have been attacked by a fourth cult even though I was never a member, as fate has had it. I must say that for myself, I experienced the same types of feelings of anger and resentment when I left two of the three cults I was involved in. With both of the cults for which I experienced anger and resentment, the one that I was the most deeply involved in, caused me to feel these things for the longest period of time. For that particular cult, I experienced these things for the next four years after leaving.
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You wrote: I was fortunate in that I left with my husband and daughter. I didn't leave with absolutely no one I knew to speak to, but I do feel as though the stress of leaving is making me upset a lot. I have no desire to go back. [b:a783e1870c]I just have a lot of anger and resentment[/b:a783e1870c] right now for being used the way I was and the things that were said about me.
Regarding this one cult that caused me to feel poorly for four years, I now no longer feel these things towards them, but I believe that it took me this long to get over it because I believe that I needed to figure out how deeply I had invested in them, even on subconscious levels, and to finally be able to let go of all of these investments. In my case, I felt that I finally figured it all out when I was finally able to write a letter to the leaders of the cult that both clearly listed my grievances with them, and also that made it clear that unless these grievances could be redressed to [i:a783e1870c]my satisfaction[/i:a783e1870c], they need not go looking after me again, which they haven't. :D
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In reality, I do think that [b:a783e1870c]I can only really benefit from such things[/b:a783e1870c] because the people who are still willing to work with me won't be the paranoid types who would listen to Move. It will force me to stop working with people who are drawn to these types and have to seek out balanced people who really are about the cause and not subversion.
In my case my last departure from a cult caused me to change my occupation and my entire group of friends. This was the greatest blessing of all, as I came to realize a few things due to these changes. I came to realize that the last cult was so harmful, that I did myself the greatest favor I could by simply creating a social circle which in no way overlapped with theirs. I also came to realize that happiness is a far simpler commodity than I had been led to believe. It can be had on a very personal level, without the need to save anyone else, other than myself. Hah Hah! :lol:
Take care, and congratulations on your courage to do what you knew was right,
Scott P.